Page Two.
THE SALEMITE
Friday, March 5, 1943.
^alcmite
Published Weekly By The Student Body
of Salem College
Member Southern Inter-Collegiate Press Association
SUB8CEIPTI0X PRICE - $2. A YEAE - 10c A t!OPY
Member
Pissocided Golle6iorte Presv
Distributor of
Colle6iciie Di6esl
MPMaiNTBO rON NATIONAL ADVKRTI8IN4 BY
National Advertising Service, Inc.
Coliege Publishers Representative
420 Madison Ave. New York. N. Y,
CNKAOO ■ BOtTON • LOt AMILCS « SaN FMARCIMO
Editor-In-Chief Ceil Nuchols
Associate Editor Bobbie Whittier
Associate Editor Katherine Manning
Make-up Editor Mary Best
EDITORIAL ANT> FEATURE STAFF
Music Editor Margaret lieinbach
Sports Editor Joy Flanagan
Frcnch Editor Bernhardt
Mildred Avera ?eggy Nimocka
Margaret Bullock Mary Louise Rhodes
Rosalind Clark Doris C. Schaum
Ethel Halpern Julia Smith
Barbara Humbert Nancy Stone
Frances Jones- Helen Thomas
Senora Lindsey Katherine Traynham
Sarah Merritt I'fargaret Winstead
Lucille Newman Kathryn Wolff
Lois Wooten
BUSINESS DEPARTMENT
Business Manager Mary Margaret Struven
Ass’t Business Manager Mary Elizabeth Bray
Advertising Manager Betty Moore
Circulation Sara Bowen, Ellen Stucky
ADVERTISING STAFF
Margy Moore, Elizabeth Beckwith, Katie Wolff,
Jane Willis, Nancy Vaughn, Corrinne Faw, Martha
Sherdod, Becky Candler, Adolo Chase, Nancy McClung,
Sarah Lindley, Allene Seville, Elizabeth Griffirt, Har
riet Sutton, Ruth O’Neal, Yvonne Phelps, Elizabeth
Bernhardt, Edith Shapiro.
VIVA LA SMOKERS
Have yon noticed the Smoke House lately
Cast yonr eyes on the floor, on the chairs and
on the couches, look in every spot between
the four yellow walls. It’s unusually clean!
There’s none of those little lumps of grey
matter on the rug and floor, no butts colored
by thick red lip-stick, the ash trays are num
erous and comparatively clean. Little steams
^ of annoying smoke no longer curl from a ter-
Aifically crumbled stub of what was a glorious
“goose.” Outside on the brick-terrace the big
cement receptors are filled with the previous
evening’s “delight” by conscientious and no
longer illiterate smokers. This campaign
sponsored by the Ashflicker and Little Red
Man has been a grand success but not with
out the serious and full co-operation of all
the smokers of Salem Campus. This swell
•co-operation has shown all of us what a lit
tle “jacking up” can do, and has insured us
the keeping of all out new smoking rules.
Thanks, Salemites. Keep up the Good
Work.
—B. H.
WHAT’S WORTH DOING
IS WORTH DOING WELL
We aren’t trying to be temperamental
artists at , all—we are only being human and
we wish you would be too. It’s this poster
business. We aren’t complaining about mak
ing them because we believe with Browning
that the trouble with this world is “who can
do a thing will not—and who would do it,
cannot.” We sincerely feel that we are do
ing our part. W^hat we -object to is this busi
ness of having three or four posters thrown
into our faces to be done “right away.” With
classes all morning, labs until five every aft
ernoon except Saturday, two term papers to
write, and a lit test coming up—well, our time
is limited.
Believe it or not, a good poster takes from
two hours to two days to finish. You say, “Oh,
just anything will be all right.” Well, why
waste even a half hour on a poster that isn’t
•worth using and from which we gain no ex
perience. All we ask is two weeks’ notice to
make your poster. It seems that you could
look that far ahead. We don’t mind doing
them because posters can be fun—but hon
estly do you think we are asking too much?
—A Poster Maker.
Our soul hurts so bad that we don’t see how we can possibly last
long enough to think up tasty tib-bits to pass on for your consumption.
The whole thing is that the room-mate has just asserted that there
ain’t potent enough germs of italent in this column to make it worth
our while even re-writing chapter I . . . much less rushing into chapter
3,792 of our best seller! You see! It’s the LITTLE things that make
an artist’s life so difficult . . . and NO, you needn’t volunteer your
opinion either!
Speaking of this column reminds us that what we think is its
c'hiefest attraction is the way it always manages to so completely
jump the gun ... if it jumps anything at all, that is. Wasn’t it just
last week that these lines bore devotionals to Spring? Hmmmmfummm!
Oh well, we heard a rumor that that nag we bet on in the 1937 Derby
came in the other day!
The eaves of Bitting have dropped lots of things we’ve picked up
this week. The mainest OQcupation of that always occupied section at
this point seems to be: whom next to invite to Jr.-Sr.? Wiat we’re
really waiting to see, however; is not so much who finally comes
with whom as it is what manner of fits are the deans going to spring
when they try fathoming which party made which telephone calls. By
the time said orgy gets over with (if ever). Bitting Building will
have to be mortgaged to pay off Bell Telephone Co. and Mot will have
to engage a new script writer . . . even Long Distance knows that
line by now! (P. S. You znay take that last either way you want to.)
Ilien we heard something at the SALEMITE meeting the other
Tuesday that we feel behooved to throw out to you. Wlien discussing
the possibilities of camimigns to make folks leave the little grasses
alone, one reporter suggested going back to that old scheme of pub
lishing names of the offenders and hoping to thereby, chagrin them
into using the bricks instead . . . even if it did wear out their shoes.
It was then that Associate Editor Whittier protested, “But the idea
last year seemed to be: Walk on the grass in order to ge your name
in print!” We’re a grand crowd of girls, Heels.
1
And of our being grand people, may we further say that the bond
queen drive is going off in true fashion ... so far there have been
about nine purchases of votes. Ain’t you all interested in beauty at
all? or is your allowance dying of March fifteenthitis, too? Sure enough
though, it ough't to be a heap of fun to back a race.
Before we go, let us caution you about them strange creatures
who are apt to be spotted going about the campus with their heads
niouth-on-top and eyes-on-bottom. Don’t be alarmed . . . they’ve just
been to art appreciation where Miss Dolch has made contrast more dis
tinct by showing the slides up-side-down. You might try reading this
column that way, too.
I
And now, to STuperman. Do you realize that he carried twelve
freight cars all the way from Missouri on Tuesday? Up . . . UP . . .
and AWIAY-Y-Y-Y!
Jue Qoht
Quand j ’ai lu dans le journal qu’un homme qui s’appelle M. Tavares
venait parler dans le college, j’ai pense, “Un autre honime que nous
devons ecouter sans comprendre!” ; Mais quand j’ai fait sa connaisance,
j’ai decide tout de suite qu’il etait un homme tres interessant. H
6tait grand et haut et avait I’air tr6s gentil.
II a parl6 a huit heures du soir, et ses paroles etaient tres plais
antes et en meme temps trfis intelligentes et pleines de signification. H
a dit qu’il aime mieiix le Sud des Etats-Unis que leg autres parties du
pays. Plus, il a dit que les besoins et les ressources potentielles de
I’AmSrique du Nord et I’Amerique du Sud se compliment I’une a 1’-autre.
0’etait un homme que jc n’oublerai jamais parce qu’il etait si
intelligent et charment. Nous esperons tous qu’il reviendra aussitot
que possible.
BEWARE—SPONGERS!
We have just lately discovered that the
place is fairly over-run with spongers ... an
ugly word and an ugly thought, but none-
the-less painfully true. According to Mil
Avera, Stee Gee Treasurer, the Activity Funds
are so seriously depleted that we might ex
pect the bill collectors to swamp us just any
day. All because some twenty-three people,
.who had rather just let their neighbors foot
the bills for their entertainment than to pay
an honest debt, “don’t have the time.” To
date the Activity Fiuid is more than four
hundred dollars short because of these same
twenty-three people.
Perhaps for the benefit of these too num
erous spongers we should list the activities
THEY have enjoyed at OUR expense! First
there was the I. R. S. dance, followed by an
A. A. dance and a Stee Gee dance; then there
were the lectures and the many “Y” teas
plus the weekly iSalemite . . . coming are
Junior-Senior, May Day and the annual. You
can bet all twenty-three of the spongers were
there and will be there in full swing.
This is no complaint aimed at those who
must scrape for the money they pay in bit by
bit as their share, but an expression of utter
disguest for those who have the money, have
the fund, but just haven’t the “time” to
pay! —M. B.
Jle Pu^ jHcUin
OK
FEANCIS bacon SAYS:
I’m ust-ja a little ig-pa.
I, ain’t othing-na but a am-ha.
I play porker late at ight-na.
And come home just as ight-ta
As an irdle-ga, inging-sa:
“A slop, slop, slop, well all right!”
I’m errible-ta to look at;
My waste-line is all at-fa.
I have awful its-fa some imes-ta.
Why on ground hog day I elt-fa
Like ausage-sa itself.
Oh, ell-wa—
I’ll ake-ma some little ig-pa
A good usband-ha.
At least I will .bring home the acon-ba.
(Ed.’s note: And if you all want a Spanish column—just pitch us
ithe cash!)
A WORM’S POINT OF VIEW
“Tramp, tramp, tramp—that’s all I hear
above my head. Can’t even a mere little worm
have his peace? I spent weeks digging out-
a comfortable hole shaded by beautiful grass,
and then some grass-tramper-downer has to
muddle around on top of my home. Oh, I’m
not the only M'orm who is grouching. Tliere’s
Wiggle and Squirm down near the dining
hall, and Crawley and his family between
the walk near Sistei's and the terrace of Alice
Clewell, Slinky and his pals liked a home on
a slope so they,built a hole near the steps in
front of Louisa Bitting, They had a fine time
sunning themselves out on the grass in their
front yards until some inhuman humans de
cided to take a short cut. Naturally Slinky
had to move, but he' wasn’t the only one.
Think of all the l>are homeless places we
woi-ms see now. Not only all around the
l)ack campus, but in the front campus, too.
There is plenty of sidewalk to walk on, in
fact if much more is put down, there won’t
be anything else but.
“Well, I’ve blown my whiskers now, but
remember the next time you are tempted to
take a short cut through our homes and
front yards, think twice, ’cause it isn’t easy
t(? keep on digging holes.” jj, ^
THE BABES OF BITTING
-“^h, yes—tlie dignity of Seniors! How
much we have heard of it—how many times
the words ‘dignity’ and ‘Senior’ have been
used together!
However, it seems that the time has come
for a separation of the two words—if we may
judge by the Chapel etiquette of Salem Sen
iors.
Chapel begins—and the processional is
carried oflf with some degree of poise, except”
for a few rebellious individuals who sit on
the back rows and refuse to wear caps and
gowns. After the processional the assigned
seats are taken and the program is begun.
Soon ni the front we see hats being lifted off
—one here, another farther down the line-
making the even line of black caps look like
the crmolations on an old castle. Just a bit
later, a shoe hits the floor, whump!—and we
realize that the speaker is probably gazing on
the sock clad extremities of the Babes from
Bitting. Soon one of this dignified group
rises to make an annguncement—cap in hand-
followed by a sister Senior—capon head. By
this tiMC any ^ests; present are so confused
as to the significance of this, that they fail
to understand a word the speaker says.
Of course there must be some reason for
this refusal to appear dignified., Perhaps the
Babes don t like having a size 22 head and
a size 20 cap-^r perhaps they don’t like the
date 1900 in the inside of their gowns. If this
be the case — can’t we do something about it?
It’s a horrible thought to realize that next
year you yourself may be behaving the same
way. —N. S.