February 13, 1948
TI!F SALEM IT E
Page Three
Sun Versus
Salemites
by Pinky Carlton
"Next case! ” The Judge poundecj
his desk and the courtroom became
quiet.
‘ ‘ Salemites versus Sun ’ mumbled
the clerk of court.
“Salemites, what is your charge?”
“The Sun killed a man—the best
man weVe ever had on campus.’
“Sun, guilty or not guilty?”
“Guilty, your honor. But how
was I to know tlijit a mere snow man
meant so much to the Salemites?”
“A mere snow man!” cried a,
chorus of voices. “Why, he may I
have been mere to you but he was
dear to us.” , !
“The Iceman Cometh,” mumbled
•the clerk of court. 1
Continued the chorus of voices,
“He had the combined cliarms of;
all the men wlio know tobacco best. |
It’s lucky stiffs, two l;o one.” j
“Explain!” thundered the Judge.
‘ ‘ Ilis six feet four inches hunk
of ])hysique was built up l>y Kathryn
Ballew, who looked up to Jimmy
last week-end. His muscle-bound
arms were put on by Peggy Harrill.
(They grow big ones at Annapolis) I
Gussie Garth got “a—head” of the
others and sculptured a face that
for some reason looked like Jolin.'
The eyes were all Patsy Moser’s who
got the eye-dea from Robert. Mary
Porter Evans knows the nose angle;
she put on one modeled after Stone
wall’s. The grin of Glen was glee
fully pnnclied in by Mary Billings.
Barbara Ward used Ellis’s horn
rims to finish the spectacle and Fran
Winslow borrowed Jack’s sailor cap
to top the man off.
“He was a man—he was,” sighed
the Salemites, “until Sun got under
way. Our m.an just wasted away
his skin and rubbed him the wrong
way, from then on. And you. Sun,
the chorus of voices grew louder,
“you did it.”
“I confess, your honor,” said the
Sun, blushing a .sunset red.
“The Iceman Wenteth”, mumbled
the clerk of the court.
Said th* Judge, “This court' sen
tences you. Sun, to be hanged to
tje sky at dawn tomorrow. Case
dismissed.” v
m
Be Mine,
Valentine
SMILING BRAVELY—with a street dance _ in full
swing outside, June Elder and Joy Martin -study in
South Hall for an Inca Pottery 101 Exam. See further
details below.
Study'buddies Tell How It’s Done
by Toostie Gillespie
Joy Martin and June Elder, tlie
two .1 ’s, were two normal, healthy
Salemitos who always made it to
breakfast, had no 8:.30’s or Saturday
classes and who didn’t like David
son, Carolina or Duke men. Joy got
her name from the fact that the first
words her great aunt once-removed
uttered when she (Joy) came into
the world were, “Oh, joy!! ”—hence
the name Joy. The derivative ol'
June’s name is quite obvious—^he
was born in the month after June—
July. It is said that cluue is a de
scendant of Pliny the Elder but that
may be just idle ))asketball-court
gossip.
But enough of this dallying
around. The above picture of the
two J’s was taken one night as they
attempted to study for the Inca Pot
tery 101 exam. A street dance was
in full swing in front of South dormi
tory and to add to ttie difficulty in
concciitrating, strange men who
lookel like lecturers kept running
lip and down the hall screaming for
Miss Hyrd to come help them write
their lectures. Two girls were play
ing wall tenuis in the hall and
•uot'ier playmate, ignoring a Busy
sign, ran in the room at frequent
intervals and hung out the windows
flirting with the boys at the street
dance.
Joy and .lune, their three ej’es
hurniug with auger, uttered curse
words (such as “Fudge!”, “Heav
ens to Betsy”, and “Shucks”)
that thoir mothers had taught them
■IS an emotional outlet. Joy was
having m particularly bad time of
it in Inca Pottery 101 because she
had had the wrong textbook all
semester and found it rather dif
ficult to keep up in class. June
wasn’t in a bed of roses either, not
by any means, no siree!! As a cliilcl.
she had been taught to read Chinese
vud conse(|ueutly, she couldn’t read
writing that went from left to right,
but it had to go from toji to bottom
and as any Salem senior knows,
Salem College textbooks all real
from left to right, and rightly so,
too (except Poget's Thesaurus for
Chinese students).
At any rate, the two .1 ’s tried
desperately to study. Once when
Boses are red, Violet’s bli^e
No doubt you are sending valentines
too.
No snooper am I, but it’s hard to
find
A Salemite sans a valentine.
“Until a pig unwinds his tail
My love for you will never fail!!
So says Clare Phelps to Brad
The same from Dale Smith to Chad.
Prom Frankie Wilkinson to hand
some Clyde
Through the air a valentine does
glide.
A valeutiue frilly and fussy
Goes to Jim from newly-pinned
Gussie.
My heart only for you does beat
Says the dard of Betty Epps to Tete.
Chances are not even slim
Of a big valentine from Kat Ballew
to Jim
A big valentine with hearts a-cluster
Goes from Ann MacKenzie to Buster
And be the weather fair or foul
There’s one from the R. O. to Mr.
I Powell.
From Janie Morris to lier fellow Sid
The U. S. ifails carry a message of
Cupid.
The same sends Cynthia Black
To a hoy at Rutgers, namely, Jack.
To a special boy at Cambridge, Mass.
Fay Stickney sends valentine of class
The same from Patsy Moser to her
guy
A boy at Duke namely Robert Frye.
From Jane B. to Jack; from Miriam
to Jerry
Go valentines, valentines in a hurry.
From Frances Horne to Jimmy, from
Sara to Bill
ItO moi-e valentines, sonic with a
frill.
“Bread ’n buiti'r; ham ’n eggs
Jo ’n Paul, C. T. and Tommy
I Page ’ii Jean, Dena ’n Johnny.
I The list goes on but I am weary
Will vou send me a valentine, deary?
; ' I. C. Awl
Joy sneezed, June smacked her over
the head witli a two-by-four which
she had cunningly hidden between
(Cont. on page six)
Louis Prima’s ''With a Hey and a Hi and a Ho Ho Ho'' (RCA Victor)
The man who plays pretty for the people,
Louis Prima, has a groovy new record!
A trumpet player of lon^ experience, Louis
knows when he’s hit the right note in smoking
pleasure too. He’s a dyed-in-the-wool
Camel fan. “Camels are the ‘choice of
experience’ with me,” says Prima.
Try Camels! Let your own experience tell
you why, with smokers who have tried
and compared, Camels are the
“choice of experience.”
^MBL
IS My
brand!
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