Page Two
THE SALE MITE
February 18. 1949
2>eo4> ZdUo^:
LITTLE DITTO
Despite the trials and tribulations of an
ordinary day of classes, and the confusion of
getting the red tape unwound from matters
of great or little importance, there is always
a bright spot to be found on Salem campus.
Whenever we see Mrs. Sampson, she has
a cheery hello, a word of encouragement, or
a question to ask about something that parti
cularly interests us.
We can always find in Mrs. Sampson a
person anxious and willing to help students
in any way she can. We would like to extend
our appreciation to Mrs. Sampson for her un
failing co-operation, consideration and kind
ness.
A group of students
&dUo^:
I saw a Robin Redbreast today. This
cheery little harbinger of spring was pluck
ing a worm from the emerald green of the
Athletic Field this very morning. May the
ever-returning robin serve as a reminder that
spring is just around the corner.
Miss Hortense Applegate
R. F. D., Route 2
Bessemer County, Ga.
Some Cases Are Neediest
But Salem’s Are Seediest
We have noticed that stakes have been
posted in preparation for the new Science
Building, directly opposite the front door of
the refectory, above the gymnasium.
We are sure that the building committee
has considered arguments for and against this
site, but we, as members of the student body,
would like to ask the committee to reconsider
these plans.
If placed in the proposed location, the
building will cut off the view of the lower
campus. To us, this is the loveliest part of the
school. We believe that there'are parts of the
grounds, at present not utilized, which would
present a more pleasing site than the planned
one. It seems to us that erecting a building
in this location would destroy a great deal of
the charm that we, as students, associate with
Salem.
We would like, thep, to ask the building
committee to reconsider the plans, and, if it is
in any way possible, to change the site of the
Science Building.
The Order of the Scorpion
9n AfipAedatio^t
Mr. and Mrs. Manuel Bromberg would
like to take this opportunity to thank the
Salem College faculty for their good wishes
and the lovely yellow tulip plant.
“We are counting on our collective eight
green thumbs,” said the Brombergs, “in order
that each spring there will be blooming re
minders of your greetings to Christine!”
WeeJi. . .
. . . begins a plan carried Out each year
by the members of the Salemite staff. In the
spring, senior and junior members of the staff
take turns as guest editor for a week. This
issue was edited by Mary Porter Evans.
by Tootsie Gillespie
A report was made at the last
meeting of the International League
of Amalgamated, Frustrated Social
Climbers and the following five
cases are taken from said report:
1. The case of Keepstream Dinkle-
horf—foundling, orphan and ne ’er
do-well. It' seems that this child
was found in a history professor’s
desk drawer one day, reading a
cheap third edition of Plato’s Dia
logues, a remarkable fact, consider
ing the child’s age (18 months).
"Whad'ja expect — fairies??”
screamed Keepstream upon discov
ery. She tol4 a story about how her
mother, an engineer and general
redcap on the B. and O. Eailway,
who had become piqued when Keep
stream set fire to the house and
ordered her away from the premises,
diapers and all.
Keepstream, left to her own de
vices, took up with the dog catch
er’s son,and together, they made off
with all the dogs in the pound,
skinned them, and sold the skins to
1. J. Wolf at a profit you wouldn’t
believe if I told you. Keepstream’s
main problem now is: how can she
get a good fourth edition of Plato’s
Dialogues?
2. The case of Egomount. This case
was born outside the pen (Penn U.,
that is). His father was a retired
book-binder from Germany and his
mother was a card catalogue. At
a tender age, he wore, instead of
diapers, a three-cornered M. A.
sheepskin which he loved to show
to his friends and acquaintances.
He took to standing on corners by
a soap box and shouting out quota
tions from books, all of which he’d
read at the pen, but soon gave this
up because people began to shy
away from him in disgust. Ego-
mount’s present worry is: now that
he has outgrown his M. A. sheepskin
and had been forced to give up his
soap box quotations, what is there
left to live for?
3. Hellion Thin was born, not with
a silver spoon in her mouth, but
with a hockey stick in her hand.
When she took her first steps at
the age of ten she tipped over a
stratigically placed diaper, fell into
a swimming pool and this was when
she began her famous stroke-glide
method of survival. Her father, a
retired pole-vaulter, had the follow
ing pamphlet printed which Little
Hellion had dictated to him:
Are you a fatigued fuddy? Do
you have inability to let down? Do
you ■ feel fatigued easily in the
afternoon? Do you hit the wrong
note on the piano? If so, remember
that the stroke-glide method ale-
viates in-grown toe-nails, sour sto
mach, malignant scurvy, Chinese
rot, exam fatigue, war hysteria,
racial prejudice, ecological misap
prehension, leaky fountain peils,
doughnut deliriums, and in addition,
you can pass the fingernail test.
But this didn’t solve all Miss
Thin’s problems. No! Now she
wonders how she can stroke-glide
her way into the bird sanctuary in
the Everglades without tangling
with Federal authorities.
4. The case of Babe Euth Olemanski
is a sad one (let us pause here, bow
toward Mecca, and put a quarter in
the plate). Her inferiority complex
began when her mother, with a
slight admonition (Sheddup, Babe),
refused her a whole roast cow. Prom
that day until this, Euthie has
refused to eat anything except all
vegetables, fruits, meats, desserts,
beverages, chewing gum, candy,
cigarettes, and an occasional hogs
head of beer. "Everything else is
wanton indulgence” quotes Diet
Olemanski. Because of her delicate
eating habits, she is slightly under
weight (32 pounds with overcoat
and bed-room slippers) and on
windy days has to be carried to
her classes on the back of Mary
Ann Kirkpatrick. Her problem as
she expresses it is: "How can I
learn to like food?”
men
(Continued
page three)
Salemite
Published every Friday of the College year by the
Student body of Salem College
Downtown Office—304-306 South Main Street
Printed by the Sun Printing Company
OFFICES
Lower floor Main Hall
Subscription Price—$2.75 a year
Suavely Does The Telling
About Books Best Selling
FICTION:
The Big Fisherman by Lloyd C. Douglas
Dinner At Antoine’s by Frances Parkinson Keyes
The Naked And The Dead by Norman Mailer
Remembrance Rock by Carl Sandburg
Cry The Beloved Country by Alan Paton
NON-FICTION:
f^prth CmUna Pi
BDITOEAL DEPARTMENT
Bditor-in-Chief Carolyn Taylor
Associate Editor Laurel Green
Business Manager
Assistant Business Manager
Joyce Privette
. Betsy Sehanm
Crusade In Europe by Dwight D. Eisenhower
How To Stop Worrying And Start Living by Dales Carnegie
Family Circle by Cornelia Otis Skinner
Peace of Mind by Joshua Liebman
Shake Well Before Using by Bennett Cerf
The Gathering Storm by Winston Churchill
A Guide To Confident Living by Norman V. Peale
Ojf
by Mary Aiken
Science on the March
A frontpage item in a recent Agnes Scott
News reveals that A-S girls are now hecomm?
star-eyed over a telescope purchased by the Umk
versity Union of Georgia. The ue-w 30-incli
machine is claimed to be the largest in the
South.—“All the better to see you with,” quip,
ped an ex-Agnes Scott dean.
Popular Sociology
A Vox Pop on the Ideal Mate, sponsored
by the Lenoir-Rhynean, show’s conclusively that
after-altar courting Avould be enjoyed by all
feminine members of Sociology 7 state finally
that marriage should not end such small cour
tesies as opening doors, placing chairs and
w’alking on the street side. Also, they think
it w’onld be w’ell if Hubby continued to hold
hands in the movies. The men, from their list
of pet hopes, add that a woman should never
cease telling her husband how much she loves
him and should ahvays expect the courtesies
They enjoy feeling that they are gentlemen.
Always a battlefield, whether for the sub
lime or the ridiculous, the Daily Tar Heel edi
torial page has now’ turned from Communism
to the sexes. (Yon can dec-ide which is which.)
After many hot w’ords on the relative merits
of males and females, someone finally arrived
at the profound conclusion that both are here
to stay; and wm all might as well make a sen
sible Freudian adjustment. One boy, dis
turbed by the superficial dating criteria of Tar
Heel girls, produced statistics to show that
“wdth coeds wdio know’ men best it’s frat
five to tw’o.”
Local Purge Attempt
More serious DTH news discloses that
an unsigned attack against Dr. Gra
ham, president of UNO, turned up Satur
day in the mailboxes of faculty and ad
ministrators. Mailed from Washington, the
letter charged that, although Dr. Graham
w’as not a Communist himself, he allo-^ved
Communist-front organizations free reign
in Chapel Hill. The four-page pamphlet
opened w’ith this dramatic challenge: ‘If you
are an American, if you are a North Caro
linian, if yon love your country, read this: The
case against Dr. Frank P. Graham, president
of the University of North Carolina.”
Education and Vocation
If you aren’t going to be busy getting
yourself or your roommate married this sum
mer, you might be interested in a release from
the Blue and Grey at Hood. Two low-cost tri
nation tours of England, Prance and Holland
are now’ being planned by the International
Commission of the National Student Associa
tion. Scheduled to begin in July, the tours
wnll cost each student about $550 for six weeks.
Applications are now being received at the
Radeliffe NSA office in Cambridge, Massach
usetts.
Placement in summer jobs for State men
is now’ being made through a new student em
ployment arrangement, the Technician announ
ces. Under the system, each department 'will
find openings and arrange interviews between
students and future employers for both sum
mer and post-graduation jobs. Ps-s-st, Faculty,
“What am 1 gonna do” seniors would welcome
a similar set-up.
Indoor Recreation
Hints for intra-school fellowship are sug
gested by Hood day students, w’ho gave resi
dent students their annual “Pop-In” last Sat
urday. (Offhand, we’d say that this is the col
legiate cousin of the more dignified “At Home
Miss Post talks about and the small town
Drop-In”.) In order to avoid misgivings
about birthday presents, the Hoodians also
give birthday parties at which each honoree
receives refreshments and a pair of panties.
Such utility, such equalization of the masses.
Maybe Little Riding Hood really did wear red.
Financial Section
Old Gold and Black at Wake Forest prints
a sham letter from “The Howler will be out on
out on time” Judson Goldblood, editor of the
local annual—a jibe at the Howler’s recent ac-
cessment of the fraternities for forty dollais
each for an extra page in the yearbook. Says
the author, the expenditures of the Howler for
one $80 record player, one $120 cherry-colored
couch, one $40 green linoleum rug, etc. amoun
to $410, so that each of the ten fraternities wm
have to pay an extra dollar to make the books
balance. P. S. “We can’t afford it” Gillespi®
turned a delicate spring green after reading
this little satire. She’s now starting an undo’’'
ground movement to bring sororities back o
Salem.