THE SALEM IT E
Mareh 4. |Q40
There has been a complaint from the
maids to Miss Essie about the deplorable con
dition of the Campus Living Room recently.
Also, the students themselves are complaining.
We feel that an effort should be made to im
prove the appearance of this so^;ial room be
fore the administration forces us'to close the
To the girls who were not here last year,
vve would like to say that the Campus Living
Room was once closed, an inconvenience to
everyone, because of similar conditions. It will
be up to you, underclassmen, to set an example
to the incoming Freshman class next year. If
you expect to continue to have the privilege of
using this room, then don’t wait until next year
to keep it clean.
We hope that the girls who use the L
Room will take pride in emptying ash trays
that are full, and putting paper in the waste
basket and not on the floor. It is our room
let’s treat it as if it were ours.
i..„g Case}' Has Sleepless Nights
; Spends Youth In Gory Fights
by Tootsie Gillespie
This is the saga of Casey Tailher,
written in spasms of recollection by
an ardent and admirinfg; cohort in
the year of Our Truman Administra-
About a year ago we made the suggestion tion, 1949.
that something be done about the calendar for
activities in the spring which is usually over Casey (for she is a girl) came
crowded with activities. This year we want to into the world on a particularly fam-
thank the committee for keeping the calendar ous day in May, it being her birth
less full. It may be that there are less activi- day. At the time of her birth, her
ties, but even so we are grateful for the fact father, a slasher and winder in a
in which we grist mill, was out of work and was
temporarily employed in a bird shop
(Foul Feathers, Inc.) paring toenails
on $35 parrots. Just before Casey’s
birth, her mother Hernia, working
for a consolidated fishery, was sit
ting on the banks of the sound
dangling her toes in the water, toes
which through a gift of Zeus, had
the power to lure pearl-laden oys
ters to the surface, at which dish
faced divers jumped in, secured the
will have time to do our assignments.
At the same time last year, we suggested
that a course be instituted in general cultural
background with various professors lecturing
in their favorite field. We are glad to hear
that plans for such a course are coming into
We realize that it takes time to get things
done around Salem and we are glad that the
showers have finally been fixed in Clewell after
two years of waiting for them. We only hope
that it won’t take two years to get some pencil and deposited money in ;
sharpeners installed in previously suggested cleverly attached machine on Her
J. C. B.
. . «
... for this week was Laurel Green
sisted by Clara Belle LeGrand.
Published every Friday of the College year by the
Student body of Salem College
Downtown Office—304-306 South Main Street
Printed by the Sun Printing Company
Lower floor Main Hall
Subscription Price—$2.75 a year
Nprtfa Car«Una CoDcghUt P'reM ilraorinricn.
Editor-in-Chief Carolyn Taylor
Associate Editor Laurel Green
nia’s three-jointed leg. Suddenly,
through a quirk of Pate (Hernia’s
brother-in-law), the time was come
when Casey should be delivered and
sure enough, at 7:30 the next morn-
i^g) fkc Foul Feathers, Inc. delivery
truck deposited a small squalling
bundle at the Tailher’s front stoop
(cleverly decorated to look like a
sloop). The small squalling bundle
contained three new-born cats from
Foul Feathers, Inc. (a gift from Mr.
Tailher to his wife Hernia) and they
had thrown in for good measure a
rickets-ridden female child who had
been tossed in the monkey section
of the Foul Feathers, Inc, through
mistake. Hernia ran t'b the front
port hole, screamed in ectasy at the
kittens and slavered audibly when
she saw Casey, who was eyeing her
suspiciously through a cloud of
cheap cigar smoke.
"O. K., kid” mouthed Casey,
I:ou can tell the neighbors an oys
ing a bunch of non-union beavers to
dam up the Pacific ocean (Casey’s
got a head on her shoulders! ” said
the Chamber of Commerce, though
it was obviously a triumph of plas
But Casey was a gregarious little
thing and time came when she be
gan to notice little boys (in kinder
garten). She took to sideling up to
them unawares, catching them in a
wrist lock and throwing a fish hook
down their throats, after which she
strung them from a high-tension
telephone wire, proving her love of
mankind. It didn’t take her long
to realize that the authorities frown
ed on such overt behavior and fif
teen years later, they let her out
of the detention home by virture
of her personality.
But Casey had become hardened.
“I’m hardened!” said Casey, and
ran her arm through an Army tank.
She had come up the hard way.
“Yeah” growled Casey, crawling
up highway no. 43.
She had forgotten the security of
and Buldger ’ ’
“Dear ole Ma
She knew hatred.
Casey set fire to a pansy.
She knew sleepless nights.
“Yeah! Good kid, Sleepless. Gave
me all her reefers when they let
- Helen Brown, Betty Biles
Copy Editors: Joan Carter Bead, Clara Belle Le Grande
Music Editor Margaret McCall
Mary Porter Evans ^er belched me up and I ’ll call ya
Peirano Aiken Ma from now pn. I want me some
Dale Smith grub and a place to sleep. Them
Assistant Business Manager
— Betty McBrayer
Mary Faith Carson
monkeys snore!” And with that, a
new life was brought to Buldger and
Little Casey had a normal child’s
life for that oceanic section of the
country—selling whale blubber at a
profit, pinching old ladies, hoisting
her father’s Sunday pants at half-
mast (“Many’s the Sunday I’ve
Asst. Advertising Manager
Ed. Assistants: Dot Arrington, Carolyn Lovelace,
Helen Creamer, Lila Fretwell, Mary Lib Weaver,
Lola Dawson, Winkie Harris, Sybil Haskins, Ro
bert Gray, Polly Harrop, Frances Eeznick, Nancy SW® Casey a heatin’!” said Buld-
Duckworth, Catherine Moore, Sis Pooser, Clinky ger.), grinding up fish eyes in the
Clinkscales Fay Stickney, Marcia Stohl, Ruth meat loaf (“Casey really can mix
Finnerty, Betsy Farmer. tt .
Typists: Janet Zimmer, Ann Sprinkle and Ann Hernia good-nat-
MpConnell uredly), balling up back lashes for
Pictorial Editors: Martha Hershberger and Jane inexperienced New Yorkers, selling
Kugler. _ anemic worms for fish bait ’(“The-m
Faculty Advisor: Miss Jess Byrd. ^ J nem
Editorial Staff: lone Bradsher, Tootsie GiUespie, mouthed Casey) and hir-
She knew the meaning of hard-
Hardship Hhat which is hard
to endure, as exposure, toil, want
or other severe trial or tax of body
or mind’ ” said Casey.
Our heroine, for so she iS, got up
off the highway and got a ride on
a Greyhound, whose name was, oddly
enough, Rover. They pulled up in
front of the old familiar sloop and
Casey threw Rover a bone, which
he punched and handed back. Hpon
arriving home, Casey found that
Hernia, in a fit of pique, had run
off with an Indonesian baseball
player (old Outfielder Zanzibar they
called him) and Buldger had taken
to sitting and watching bird nests,
hoping to see Hernia hatch out of
“Just can’t face reality,” obser
ved golden-eyed Casey, still smok
ing a cheap cigar.
Left to her own devices, Casey
grew thin and wan, and some say
that she has been seen in the lib
rary of Congress looking up dirty
words in Webster’s International.
No cobwebs grow in Box 397.
In fact, it is a catch-all for practieally anything
that is permitted by law to go through the IJ. S. Mails
In order to do away with the long line of girls wait
ing to read my mail, I’ve decided to publish from
letters I received from time to time.
Weighty and Worthwhile
Enclosed find cheek for Three Dollars ($3.00) for
the following advertisement-in your Classified Column
once each week until the enclosed appropriation is
OUR BEST GRADE HEAVY BREED CHICKS
200' for $15.00
Send for Price List—Save Money
WORTHWHILE CHICKS, 101 W. North Avenue
Baltimore 1, Md. ’
Please notify us date of last insertion.
Very truly yours,
K. I. P.
We dislike to use strong language, but there is
no other way to say this is your FINAL notice. Un
less you send $15 within the next twenty-four hours
your membership in the Associated Collegiate Press
will be discontinued. Remember this is your FINAL
We are enclosing a bulletin of campus-wide, news
worthy feature material:
For College Professors
If he’s brand new at teaching, he lacks experience.
If he’s been teaching all his life, he’s in a rut.
If he uses notes, he’s unoriginal.
If he gets along without notes, he’s an ad-libber.
If he sticks to his specialty, he’s got a one-track mind.
If he tours the encyclopedia, he’s a show-off.
If he’s young, he needs more seasoning.
If he’s old, he’s seen better days..
If he gives a lot of pops, he’s a slave-driver.
If he seldom gives a test, he’s too lazy to read papers.
Now, “Ed”, for more funny features like this
one, send us that fifteen dollars today.
N. O. Read
Included by Mistake
Ever since you left this morning, I’ve been think
ing of you. You are uppermost in my thoughts:
“Shall I compare you to a summer’s night?'
Thou are more lovelier and more intemperate.”
This is not my poetry, darling. It’s Shakespire.
He was a famous French poet . . .
(Dear Reader, may I hasten to remind you that I
share Box 397 with Folderol and Keepstream. Some
times by mistake, sometimes on purpose, we open
each other’s mail.)
Weather or Not
The U. S. Civil Service Commission has announced-
a Meterological Aid exam from which positions pay
ing from $2,498 to $3,177 a year will be filled.
Me are enclosing a few sample questions:
1. A foehn wind is usually:
a) warm and dry
b) warm and moist
c) cold and dry
d) cold and moist
2. Which one of the following charts is used for
plotting winds-aloft data?
a) adiabatic chart
e) none of these
Please notify interested persons that it will be
necessary to fill out applications in order to take this
eterological Aid exam. Applications are obtainable
from the nearest Post Office until March 15.
Opened by Mistake
^ Please rush seventy-six (76) pairs of dungarees
with zippers to . . .
Sprig Has Cub
... morning while I was taking my daily
S I utional and nature walk, I spotted a crocus poppi'’§
face^*^*^^ y®^low head through the sleepy earth’s sur-
^ luote from that great poet, Wordsworth)
To me the meanest flower that grows can gi'’®
Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears.
Miss Hortense Applegate
B. F. D., Route 2
Bessmer County, Ga.
T. _ A Mistake
Your father and I realize that this is a very busy
year for you. We also realize that you have other
correspondents but it does seem that you could w • ■ '
- This concludes the letters I finished and the let
ters that finished me.