CCS/HCICAMaV
looked like the lower Slobovian
royal mounties and asked when
they were going on strike.
One waiter, a determined type,
set his jaw and handed out
menus. Jerry buttered his menu,
pounded a hard roll to pulp and
threw the silverware on the floor.
The waiter was unmoved. Jerry
elicited a gasp by buttering the
seat cushion and stomping a roll
to mush.
The comedian made his napkin
into a sling, loaded it with a pat
of butter and fired it into the
air. The square of butter took a
great circle route and hit with a
splat on the pate of a bald man
two aisles away.
This fractured Martin who or
dered a drink. When it arrived
Jerry dunked a lighted cigarette
in it. Dean retaliated with a
backhand palm flip.
Jerry screamed for ketchup which
waiters hurriedly collected. With
in seconds the comic had corn
ered all the condiment in the
house, leaving other diners ket
chup-less.
Things were quiet for a time
until Jerry was served a fruit
cocktail. He dumped the fruit
on the table, salt and peppered
the ice in the carrying dish and
began to gorge himself. “This
place is famous for its chipped
ice,” he gurgled between chatter
ing teeth.
Jerry’s veal cutlet arrived and
the comic stabbed it with a fork,
complaining it was still alive.
After subduing the cutlet he fed
bits of the meat to an imaginary
dog under the table whom he
called “Artie.”
Lunch ended when Jerry poured
mustard on his publicity man’s
hand and bit it hungrily.
Here and There
(Continued from Page One)
Christian Democrats, Aminatore
Fanfani, has asked Scelba for
“clarification” (showdown). As an
other member of the party put it,
“Once these clarifications start it’s
pretty certain that Scelba will be
clarified right out of office.”
India. Two things happened in
this country last week, one of
which was important to the govern
ment, thq other much more im
portant to the common people.
The first of these was an at
tempted assassination of Nehru.
As Nehru was riding in an open
car a man rushed from the crowd
with a knife in his hand. An alert
policeman grabbed the man and
rushed him away to jail. It re
minded many of the attempt on
Gandhi’s life a short while before
he was assassinated.
The second occurence was a high
priest’s announcement that “the 13
months after May 5, 1955, will be
inauspicious for marriage.” This
led to a matrimonial rush with ads
for husbands appearing in news
papers and many mothers marrying
off their children in the often-
heard-of child marriages. The
Delhi state assembly even had to
adjourn because its members had
to attend so many wedding cere
monies. Then the high priest an
nounced, “The period after May 5
willi be bad for the world in gen
eral.”
New Offi cers
(Continued from page one)
Only last week the new annual
editor, a piano major, was vited
Salem’s “Miss Charm” and selected
as junior recipient of the Corrin
Strong Scholarship to the Univer
sity of Oslo.
The daughter of Rev. and Mrs.
J. L. Thornburg, she served as
house president last year of South
dormitory; her freshman year she
was a representative to the Student
Council and to the IRS Council.
Her activities as a junior include
membership on the Y Council, the
editorial staff of Sights and In
sights, and the staff of the Salem-
ite.
Betty Morrison, only yesterday
elected president of the Athletic
Association, is the daughter of Mr.
and Mrs. Allan Morrison of Ashe
ville.
She has been active in all sports
and represented her class on the
A. A. council. Betty is one of
North Carolina’s delegates to tha
National Athletic Federation of
College Women to be held at
Smith College next week.
A native of Rocky Mount was
elected chaiman of May Day. Emily
Baker, elected yesterday in chapel
by the student body, is the daugh
ter of Mr. and Mrs. Russel Baker.
She has been active in the Pier
rettes and was the producer of the
Junior Follies. Last fall, Emily
was inducted into the Scorpions.
Emily has worked closely with May
Day all three years she has been at
Salem.
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