Newspapers / Salem College Student Newspaper / Dec. 19, 1958, edition 1 / Page 3
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Friday, December 19, 1958 THE SALEMITE Page Three A Freshman Remarks on the'W orld’s W orst Drivers” By Ann Sellars Why do I become totally enraged whenever I hear a member of the opposite sex ridicule women drivers ? Perhaps it is because men have a tendency to class us women on the level with low-grade morons. After a vast amount of experience I feel qualified to say that women drivers are just as skillful as men drivers. In analyzing my male friends, I have discovered that their driving habits fall into several dis tinct categories. “Alcoholic Al” is number one on the ballot for election as the world’s worst driver. Al simply cannot part : with his best friend, the liquor ; bottle. His motto has always been ' “one more fqr the road.” Using the excuse that a little alcohol re- i laxes him, Al proceeds to relax— i all over the highway. He has to ^ be reminded at intervals that there ■ is a car coming in the opposite i direction and that he is on the ^ wrong side of the road. Any subtle hints to refrain from total inebria tion result in an indignant denial that Al is even the tiniest bit “tight.” “Passing Pete” has a phobia— claustrophobi.a When he comes within fifty feet of another car, this malady viciously attacks him with full force. If you do not have a safety belt, hang on to somefhing, but do hang on. Pete sneaks up behind the car in front of him, pulls out beside it, blows his horn in the driver’s ear, and smugly jerks back in line again. If he ever bothered to look in the rear view mirror, he would see his latest victim quietly.^crying beside the road. “Speeding Sam” missed his call ing. Instead of trying to be the average American citizen out for a Sunday afternoon drive, he shoul^ have been a stock car driver. Sam is inconsiderate; he does not realize that his passengers cannot count cows while passing them at ninety- five miles an hour. But this demon of the road would not want you to miss the country landscapes; he drives on all the back roads trying to evade the pursuing policemen. “Speeding Sam’s” opposite is “Creeping Clem.” . This cautious creature never- exceeds the speed limit. As a matter of fact, he never even reaches it. This is especially nice if you need plenty of time to count blades of grass instead of cows. Clem is a popular fellow on the highway; he always has at least twenty cars following him at a snail’s pace. As the members of this cavalcade pass one by one, you plaster on your bravest smile, which is a tremendous feat to accomplish when the occupants of the passing cars are glaring at you. Riding with “Looking Harry” is the quickest way to become an in mate of an insane asylum. If he happens to be overwhelmed with your beauty, this admiration could be flattering but dangerous. He runs onto the shoulder of the road so much that you begin to get a BAR Delightful Treats For Every Taste For Designed Hair Cuts—Pin Curl Permanents or Conventional Per manents—False Hair (Pony-tails, Chignons, Buns, etc.)—free Consultation and Advice on any Beauty Problem. 416 Spruce St.' The Hair Designers Phone PA 4-2411 Open Evenings general idea of what the Sahara desert looks like during a dust storm. Larry reads all road signs, inspects the chrome on the newest 'model cars, and even peers into picture windows. The only thing this “road-hog” misses is the hor rified look on an oncoming driver’s face as Larry weaves down the highway. But do not give up hope, girls. It would not be fair to leave out ‘Perfect Paul,” the personification of a good driver. Paul does not drink, speed, or have any other vices on the road. He is such a good driver that his passengers al ways feel safe and relaxed. If you have the misfortune to encounter one of the dangerous types men tioned above, ask him to stop the car. Then get out and start look ing for a ride with a nice careful woman driver. r-*-' Want To Go When Yon Want To Go CALL Phon* PA 2-7121 MORRIS SERVICE Next To Carolina Theatro Suidwrahat—Salada—Sodaa "Tlio Place Whore Salemitec Meet” If You Don’t Know What To Give Give A Gift Certificate For—Records From— REZNECK’S 440 N. Liberty Dial PA 2-1443 TOWN STEAK HOUSE TWO FINE RESTAURANTS TO SERVE YOU NO. 1—107 LOCKLAND AVE. NO. 2-^0 SOUTH STRATFORD RD. FOR CHRISTMAS 14K Gold Brooch, leaf and swirl design 41.50 Miniature Heart Pendant with 12 diamonds 65.00 14K Gold Tie Tack with cultured pearl 19.50 McPHAIL’S 410 N. Spruce Thruway Shopping Center is to pound—but without the^ you miss the whole idea of a is to smoke-but without flavor you miss the whole idea of smoking! 1 It corner t© flavor : 'Kf >.' s ❖ : Up front in Winston is FILTER-BLEND that’s why WINSTON TASTES GOOD like a cigarette should R.J. REYNOLlfs TOBACCO CO.. WINSION-SALEH.H.6,
Salem College Student Newspaper
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Dec. 19, 1958, edition 1
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