Page Four
TH€ SAL^MITt
CAMPUS COLLOQUY
Monday, April
- by Art Buchwald
I know no one will believe
me, but you’re just going to have
to take my word for it. I met
a college student the other day
who said that all he wanted out
of life was success and financial
security.
He asked me not to use his
name because he didn’t want to
embarrass his parents, so 1 shall
call him Hiram.
“Hiram,” 1 asked him, “Why
did you decide to take this
revolutionary attitude toward so
ciety?”
“I don’t know exactly when
it happened. 1 was like most of
tlie rest of the students. I wanted
to tear down the school, the
society, the establishment. 1 was
just another conformist, and 1
never questioned why 1 was
doing all the things that were
expected of me.”
“Then one day 1 thouglit to
myself, ‘There’s got to be more
to life than getting hit over the
head by the cops.’ 1 looked
around me and saw nothing but
sheep. Every student was doing
his thing because someone else
had done his thing, and no one
was doing or saying anything
new.”
“So you decided to drop out
of the student movement and
become a millionaire?”
“Not at first. But 1 met this
girl. She was really way out. She
wore a cashmere sweater, a plaid
skirt and she had on shoes and
socks “ 1 couldn’t believe any
one would dress like that. But
1 got to talking to her, and she
started making sense.”
“She said it wasn’t enough
to lock yourself in a building
or go on a hunger strike in your
dorm. If you really wanted to
change the world, you had to
make a lot of money, and then
people wouldn’t tell you what
to do.”
“That’s radical thinking,” I
said.
“Then she gave me a book by
Prof. Horatio Alger, and I guess
no book I ever read has had
more of an effect on me.”
“Wasn’t Prof. Alger the one
who came out first with the
success syndrome theory?”
“That’s he. His story floored
me. 1 mean a whole new world
opened for me, and 1 knew no
matter what the consequences
were and no matter what other
people thouglit. 1 was going to
work hard and become rich and
successful. Life finally took on
some meaning for me, and for
the first time 1 felt like a free
man.”
“What did you do then?”
“1 discovered through this
girl tliat there were other stu
dents on campus who felt the
way 1 did - not many, but
there were enough. So we
formed a group called the ‘ Stu
dents for a Successful Society’.
At first we had to go under
ground, because the administra
tion wouldn’t acknowledge us
as a legitimate campus organiza
tion. But as more and more stu
dents heard about us, the SSS
kept growing. We’ve been able
to radicalize at least 200 stu
dents who would rather be rich
than do their thing.”
“Wliat are some of your acti
vities to get more supporters?”
“We sell the Wall Street Jour
nal on campus. We’ve opened a
coffeehouse where you can read-
back copies of Fortune. We have
a stock market ticker tape in the
back of the room, and on week
ends we have readings from the
National Assn, of Manufacturers.
Bulletins.”
“Hiram, I know this sounds
great. But is it possible that this
success syndrome movement is
just a passing fad?”
“No, it isn’t. I know everyone
calls us kooks and weirdos, but
no one is going to push us a-
round. We’ve already had in
quiries from other campuses that
want to set up similar chapters,
and I wouldn’t be surprised in
the next few years to see what is
now a minority movement be
come the strongest force in the
country. After all, nothing suc
ceeds like success.”
A FUN PLACE TO GO
Old Salem Reception Center
CONING EVENTS
April 16 Piedmont Chamber Orchestra in Hanes at
8:15 p.m.
April 16 Dionysius '73: A Celebration of the Arts
David Nagrin Interpretive Dance Group at
8:00 p.m. in Reynolda Ballroom
April 17 Jonathan Williams in the Drama Workshop at
1:15 p.m.
April 17 Razphael Trio
Wait Chapel at 8:15 p.m.
April 18 Puppet show sponsored by the Education
Dept, in the Drama Workshop at 7:00 p.m.
April 20 Michael Graudo--pantomimist at 8:45 p.m.
in Wait Chapel
April 20 Clark Organ Recital in Shirley at 7:30 p.m.
April 22 Opening of Senior art exhibit in FAC gallery.
April 23 Heidemann Recital in Shirley at 8:15 p.m.
April 24 Bruce & Nancy Roberts speaking on Carolina
Ghosts in Shirley at 1:00 p.m.
April 26 Nelson Twins perform in Hanes at 1:15 p.m.
Dansalems Spring Recital in Hanes at 8:00 p.m.
April 27 Byrd Organ Recital in Shirley at 8:15 p.m.
April 29 Tinker Organ Recital in Shirley at 4:00 p.m.
Heaton Recital in Shirley at 8:15 p.m.
Lighthouse Grill
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