Newspapers / Salem College Student Newspaper / Feb. 23, 1990, edition 1 / Page 10
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page 10 Features Tucker's Corner Horoscopes by Anne Tucker Not really. If you are frustrated,, JJ by Anne Tucker Daytona Beach, Victoria's Secret, Bain de Soleil. OK, so I just depressed half of the Salem College campus. But, fear not ladies! There is a cure of your labanzas and turkey drumsticks. It's called Slimfast. And you know what? If it's good enough for Ed Koch and Miss America, it's good enougih for me. In fact. I've been enjoying two smooth and delicious Chocolate Royale shakes each day for the past two weeks. And guess what? I don't even miss gorging on Shepherd's Pie. Now, I can actually say "No" to those juicy, deep-fried turkey steaks in the refectory. Boy, do I feel good! But really folks. I'd like to tell you a little something about Slimfast. Initially, it was pretty exciting. I mean, I was getting to have this wonderful, satisfying shake, and still lose weight! Right? The only catch is that after about three servings they started tasting like a combination of Metamucil and Yoo Hoo chocolate soda. Even the sight of the stuff became unappealing. I couldn't decide if I should drink those little lumps or use it for a facial mask. Call me strange, but it even smelled like Purina Hi-Pro Dog Chow. MMMM! So you think I'm trying to discourage you from subjecting yourself to the tastebud nightnwre? Not really. If you are frustrated,, desperate, and don't mind spending $6.47 a week, this plan is for you. I must say though, that Slimfast has made a difference in my life. I have more energy, I sleep less, and even my underwear is too big. I don't wear support hose anymore, because I can finally see past my stomach in the shower. I'm back to one chin, instead of three, and I no longer have to get my bras custom made. (Just kidding about that part.) The bottom line is, do you want to eat the whole package of cream horns or would you rather be tanning a great body in a shimmering gold Gottex bikini? You must sacntice, though. You can't eat a dish and be one, too! This is the first diet that worked for me. I've already tried the "Give Blood to Lose Weight Diet," the Shirley MacLaine "Channel Your Mind Into a Thin Body Diet," and the most recent "Pan Pizza and Hot Fries Diet," all with minimal results, of course. I hope this testimony has inspired some of my fellow Salemites. Feel free to call me an)dime for our own personal moral support consultation. Just put down those pork rinds and pick up the phone! I will even reserve a special Slimfast therapy section for us in the refectory. Just look for the table with the security guard and the barbed wire fence around it. & ♦Salem T-Shirts & Sweats* ♦Film Developing* # ♦Helium Balloons* ♦Cards* SpTiOiRiE by Jupiter's Junk Aquarius This'dance weekend will be good for you. Your date has a surprise or two up his sleeve so be ready for anything! Taurus Start on that fitness kick today. Spring Break is only about three weeks away and that size 6 bathing suit is starring you in the face. So get to it! Leo ! Make your Spring Break plans today. The longer you wait, the more it costs. You may wait to consider Horida, the Bahamas or Mexico. They're all fun! Virgo Take money matters seriously. Maybe you need to skip a night or two at the O-Pit and pocket the money. You may even enjoy the rest. Scorpio You need to slow down. You're living in the fast lane and things are getting too. hectic. Sit back and gather your thoughts. Aries Don't let your mom know you're staying at the Hyatt with a date; she probably wouldn't be very happy. Remember, if there’s a strange knock on th^ door in the middle of the night - DON’T answer it! '''' Capricorn Be weary of the weekend. Romeo may be a little tarnished. So remember, if all else faijs you still have all of your Salem pals! Pisces This is your month! The money supply is good and romance is great. March even looks good for you! Stick to what you’re doing, - you’re doing it right. Libra Don't get down on yourself! I dislike the beginning of the new semester as much as you, but remember, thing always get done and you'll even have a little fun! Cancer Contact your boyfriend now! Sometimes things have a tendency to fall apart, especially on the heels of Valentines. Be understanding and work together. Gemini Jump on getting that summer job. Its much easier now than in May when every other college student in the world wants that job. Sagittarius Your intuition is correct. Go with what you feel is right and you may be surprised at the results. Feature Horoscope Did you party too Jiard at the after-party?! All your friends have phones and taxi drivers do, too! E. Clarke Dummit Attorney at Law 1717 west first street Winston-Salem 777-8078 PROFESSIONAL OFFICE HELPERS $1.50 PER PAGE _ WILL PROOF READ FOR TYPING ERROR PLEASE CALL ANSWERING MACHINE SERVICE - 784-7423 1785 Ralee Drive (near Forsyth Hospital)
Salem College Student Newspaper
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Feb. 23, 1990, edition 1
10
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