June 9, 1938
GOLDSBORO HI NEWS
PAGE SEVEN
Shipment 38, Consigned to the World, Leaves Valuables
As products of the Goldsboro
Higli Scliool Learning Corporation,
we, Shipment 38, hereby make the
following suggestions and bequeath
the following talents to those ship
ments following us. We challenge
any other shipment to equal our
standards of ability, service and
quality.
If we go out to be immediately
consuyied by the Wage Earning Pub
lic Corporation, or if we go to be
])olislied and set for a special type
of work in the University machine,
this corporation will always bask
in the glory we reflect. Through the
vast, masterful accomplishments we
wall make, your business will be in
creased one hundred per cent and
the reputation for YOUR output
will become world-widely known.
The address "which has been writ
ten on our shipment is brief but
adequate. It merely reads “The
World.” So before we set forth on
our journey, we will render our
^‘Last Will and Testament:’’
For GHS
Article I: To the corporation as
a,;Avhole, shipment 38 bequeaths .its
limitless democratic attitude wdiich
we, the 146 pieces in this shipment,
urge the entire corporation to de
velop accordingly, ...
Article II:- To majority , stock
holder, Mr. B; P;'Johnson,-we will
the most perfect product yet turned
out under the new, progressive type
of, wprkmanshi,p. r
^ Article III: To the^ riiembers of
the 'Board of Directors of' this cor-
p'bration we leave the close relation
ship which ^ve have cultivated.
Article IV: Since we believe that
“A hint to the wise is sufficient”
(how is that for a compliment?) and
since we think our aged experience
might help you younger shipments
wfi assign the following properties:
■Section I: To the whole corpora
tion we will any other s6ni'or privi
lege except being first in the lunch
line. We wist! to save this right
for our college eating hall. (I hope
it works', I^iope, I hope—I hope.)
traits good and otherwise are as
follows:
Ham’s One’s
George Ham wills his one’s to
Jimmy Mcllhenny (of course, we
all know Jimmy would never accept
them).
Prances Coward bequeaths her
blushes to any puny freshman who
needs a school girl complexion.
Billy Mooring wills his jokes and
Einstein to Billy Ilollowell, who
knows little about jokes and nothing
about Einstein.
Bobbie Anne Sanborn leaves her
ability to understand Mr, Barrett
and the rest of her opposite sex to
Lorraine Taylor.
Jean Edgerton wills her intimacy
with blond German haircuts to Vir
ginia Modlin.
Garland Kich wills his reducing
diet to “Squirt” Cuddington.
Bert Griffin and Eoss Ward be
queath their two dead hunting dogs
to the boat-bottom-bursters, Boddie
Perry and Paul Garrison.
Kalmar’s “Jokes”
William Kalmar leaves his ability
to laugh at his own jokes to Bill
Cobb.
J. C. Smith wills his Chesterfield
haberdashery to R. T, Cozart,
Speed Hollowell bequeaths,., his
athletic talent to Horace Potter,
Louise Sineath Wills her hair-do’s
to Kala Rosenthal,
Helen Moye wills her error niark-
ing system, lier.^gatley sheets and
her midnight oil in Robm 19 to
Silippy, the Snooperess, Mayre
Best. ' .
Jack Wharton yields his humor
and his trombone-^ to-J. R. IS'ickens,
the poor boy talks so little,
J abie- Jlpyward wills his chewing
gum aM J liisi pi’esidential speech
against “War” to Mrs, White and
his job *as'^'“Little Cdesar” to in
coming dictator^ “Herr” Gordon.
Scottie'T^anieron wills her seat at
the lunch room select table and her
string to Betty Michaux, Try to
keep the knots untied as well as
she has, Betty.
o Tr r,-, r., . Hardy Lee Ihom))son bequeaths
Section JI.: lo Shipment 39 we i • .
, . I his ways Avith jiowerful, prowling
bequeath an outstanding athletic
group, both boys and girls. We leave
this as a challenging standard for
wdiich to strive, ‘
SectiohTII: To Sophomore Ship
ment 40 we donate a varnished foot
rule to be used as a walking stick
for each of its members.
Article V: jN^ow that we have
shown every, other shipment that we
are better than they are ever going
to be, we naturally have some piece-
to-piece donations to leave. These
Officq
Telephone 314
Besidence
Telephone 226-M
DR..R. S. TURLINGTON
DENTIST
All Kinds of Dental Work Done
Boom 203-4-5 Professional Building
Plymouths to Billy Hood and his
Brogdeii-bound Buick.
Ruth’s Basketball Ability
Ruth Shepard wills her four years
on the basketball bench to Edith
J ones.
Harriet JSToell bequeaths her
Casanova night-life to Frances Yel-
verton.
Ridley Whitaker wills his
Dentyne or Baloney to the next fel
low who can i)ut chewing gum under
his tongue and still speak French.
(We all know how well Whitaker
s])eaks French.)
Jim Manly wills his seemingly
hopeless love, liis laugh and his
ability to run a mile in two laps to
Tom Dameron.
Eddie Mansoiir offers the
Bachelors’ Club to all those boys
who want to be hen-j)ecked husbands
or hoary-bearded hermits.
Norene’s Gestures
Norene Johnson donates her emo
tional gestures to the next class that
produces a Junior Play.
Joe Edwards leaves his list of
“I’ll-pay-you-Monday” shop debts
to Joe “,Pay-Today” Jenkins.
Nancy Pipkin bequeaths her car
that never starts to Wiley Smith
with his 'bicycle, and her three
auburn-haired, companions to the
Red-headed League.
“Scab” Ward wills his train
imitation to tlie Atlantic Coastline.
Hugh Westray aiul Lassiter Bell
VWWWWWWWUVW\.WVWV’
Congratulations to the
Seniors
NFII.
will their hair-combing troubles to
“Hot” Heyward.
Tilly Horton wills her ability to
draw to Antionette Lupton.
Sarah Cox leaves h('r duties as
treasurer to the Bank of Wayne.
Jimmy Weathers wills his wonder
haircuts (wonder where the hair is)
and his splashing swim success
(splashing iii the bath tub) to Ran
dolph Middleton.
“Whesie” Schweikert bequeaths
her love for • (;x-sailors to every
patriotic student citizen.
Burwell’s Camera
Ted Burwell wills his position as
candid camera kodak king to Frank
Irwin,
Harry Hollingsworth wills his
ability to change the constitution
to Ike Manly.
Betty Carrere wills her silence to
Jaquelin Campeh.
Since this century would not hold
time enough to enumerate all the
William H.Smitli,M.D.
Ninth Floor Wayne Bank Building
Goldsboro, N. C.
Office Phone 12—Residence Phone 320
OFFICE HOTIBS:
9 to 10 a.m., and 3 to 4 p.m.
Our Heartiest
Congratuliitmns
Seniors
May Your Future Life
Be Full of
Joy.
MERIT'S SHOE STORE
May Your Next Step
Be To Success
Goldsboro Drug Co.
Phone No. 1 It’s easy to remember
Since 1870
We Make Ice Cream
That Tastes Like More
Try it
There is a difference
GOLDSBORO
CANDY KITCHEX
PHONE 173
Sanitary Market
Native and Western Meats
Phone 559 - 550
We Deliver
Malpass Grocery
Will Deliver Your Groceries
PHONE 656
CONGRATULATIONS
SENIORS
THE OPERA SHOP
BETTER LIGHT
BETTER SIGHT
Protect Precious Eyesight.
Notice how comfortably
you can study your lessons
with a New lES Table Lamp
CAROLINA
Power and Light Co.
GOLDSBORO BEAUTY SHOP
211! S. Cfutor
(JOI.DSIUHK), N.'C.
Special DiKcoitntu to llUjh
School Sfu({cntn'
vwvwA-wvwiiWwyv^w
HARRELL’S
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for
BASEBALL GOODS
TENNIS BALL
and RACQUETS
IT IS XOT TOO LATE
To Provide for a College Education
TKe Easy Way is the Installment Plon
Consult
CITIZENS BUILDING&LOAN ASSOCIATION
CHARLES S. NORWOOD, Secretory
traits ot this remarkable shi))ment
and since our ship, “SrCH.’ESS,” is
anchoring in (Jraduation Harbor,
prepared to take us on our journey,
we lien'hy close this will with one
mor(> thought that we would like to
leave as we embark.
A good sliipmeut
Must add (U)
'I’o operation
And the I'now
1'o tcdge
To get success
With a caj)ital S
With these words- the ‘‘Last Will
and Testament of Shipment 158” is
closed.
Testated by f7anies (h-one.
Witnessed by jVry Cat and Manly’s
Dog.
P.S. If any character or happen
ing in this masterpiece is true,
the incident is purely coincidental
and fictitous.
Ke-testated bv James Crone.
BUSH COATS
Just Arrived
EDWARDS
YOUNG MEN'S SHOP
Goldsboro's Best
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