NINETEEN
BRUTALLY
BEATEN
See Page 2,
Col. 3-4
The Fool Moon
PLAYMATE OF
THE MONTH
See Page 7
Vol. 69^ No. -br
Albemarle Sorry High School, Albemarle, N. C. 2800!
March 32, 1969
Rebels Take Over OHice
As revolting students ransack the office, Denis Riclanan ties up
Sgt. Alma Crowell, and Tom Adams calls Calvin for reinforcements.
Looney Toons I MOONBOMBS
1) Hold On, I’m Coming — Cal
vin.
2) Sunday Will Never Be the
Same — Church-O-Theque.
3) Roll Over, Beethoven — Mr.
Fry.
4) Love Is Blue — Danny Tal
bert.
5) Shame, Shame; Who’s Mak
ing Love? —Teen Dems
6) I Wish It Would Rain -
Track Team.
7) Say It Loud — Carrie Davis.
8) Dizzy — Buggs Courtney.
9) Puff, the Magic Dragon;
Windy — Mr. Hawkins.
10) Who’s Afraid Of the Big,
Bad Wolf? — Carolyn Hill.
11) Move In a Little Closer —
Mr. Hatley.
12) Ain’t No Big Thing — Stew
art Medlin.
Ann Slander Answers
Dad Should Support Stockings
Dear Ann Slander,
I am 16 years old and I
think I am old enough to wear
lipstick, make-up, and nylons.
My mother is all for it, but
my father gets very angry
whenever I suggest it. What
should I do?
RALPH
Dear Ralph,
If you simply can’t reason
with your father. I’m afraid
you’ll have to pray to your fairy
godmother.
Dear Ann Slander,
I have a very handsome
and charming elghteen-yea^
old son who has never dated
the same girl twice. I’m afraid
the reason Wilbert hasn’t ever
gotten a girl is that he has
five warts on his right hand.
I’ve begged Wilbert to have
his warts removed, but he
refuses, insisting that they
remind him of a pet toad he
had years ago. What can I
WORRY WART
Wilbert to some
do?
Dear Wart,
Introduce
nice frogs.
Dear Ann Slander,
My husband and I are heart
broken. Our little Brigite ^s
shamed the whole family. The
STUDENTS ARE REVOLTING
Teen Dems Orgynize
The Stanly County Teen Dems received the coveted award of
“Political Party of the Year,’* presented by Pabst Brewing tompany,
as the Democrats swept the voting for the second consecutive year.
Last year’s award went to the Democratic Party for its Chicago
Convention. _ ,
The local club, headed by Tom Adams, held its party FMruary
22-23 at the Heart of Albemarle Motel, the National Guard Armory,
and various points between. ,
Honored guests at the event were Richard Hathcock, Danny 1 al
bert, and Buggs Courtney. Entertainment at the Armory was pro
vided by the Fabulous Tensions and Charles Crawley. Later at trie
motel, the guests were entertained by the motel manager and several
local policemen. • •
The club was graded on three aspects of politics — originality,
brutality, and the following week’s rumors. The locals ranked hign
in all categories except brutality. Only a few injuries were repor^.
The most serious injury was received by a Full Moon reporter when
he was struck in the face by a snowball.
Civic Center Planned
The Chamber of Commerce
has selected “John’s Tavern,
formerly “Kepleys,” for the
proposed Stanly and Rowan
County Civic Center. Plans are
now under way to replaster the
building and remodel it m ‘he
fashion of an Old English Pub.
Canadian Trip Planned
Denis Rickman is chartering
a bus to Toronto, Canada im
mediately after graduation. All
interested senior boys, eighteen
and older, are asked to buy their
one-way tickets immediately.
Gift of the Month
The FBLA gift of the month
is a personally autographed pic
ture of Lamar Burleson.
whole neighborhood talks
about how she is always run
ning around the whole town.
She never stays home wy-
more, and when she does
Tome home it’s usually very
late. I simply can t control
her. I think I’m gomg out of
mv mind. And she was such
a nice little poodle. What can
‘ “MUMMY”
Dear Mummy,
It’s time Brigite grew up!
You should quit her
like a baby, and make her fix
her ownmekls and roil her own
hair.
Dear Ann Slander,
Last week my family went
to the funeral of my great
aunt on my mother s father s
side. Well, we got there and
we were seated right next to
my second cousin twice re
moved whom 1 never have
liked since the time she i^
suited my husband’s uncle s
great aunt at my father s uiv
cle’s wedding. This simply
ruined the whole f«"era for
my family. I don’t even t^k
they should have been invited.
Am I right? jj^guLTED
Dear Insult, , _.
Certainly. Next time, demand
that invitations be sent.
Rebel students took over the
administrative office at noon,
March 32, after a week of vio
lent demonstrations.
The action came as the re
sult of a faculty decision to
move the juke box from the
school cafeteria.
“We had already protested
the repressive administration,”
commented student leaders
Mark Rutt and Stokely Carbun
cle. “We petitioned for soul
food in the cafeteria, chocolate
milk for lunch, and inclusion
of more Chinese students.”
“When the administration
moved the juke box out of the
cafeteria, we decided it was
time to act.”
Led by members of S.O.T.
(Students Opposed to Teachers),
the students forced their way
into the office and demanded
the resignation of Principal War
den Hawkins and his secretary,
Sgt. Alma Crowell.
After resisting the dissident
Calvin, Cushion
Clean Up
Last year, The Cherry Bomb
reported a moonshine raid with
in ASHS. Reporters Johnny
Snuggs and Buggs Courtney,
acting as an investigation team,
followed their sensitive noses to
the boiler room where they
found Calvin in the midst of
Operation Ninety Proof. They
revealed that Calvin planned to
pump liquor through the water
cooling system to the cafeteria
so the students and teachers
would get stoned, enabling him
to take over.
After intensive investigation.
The Full Moon’s Commission On
Calvin recently reported that
Calvin did take over ASHS in
last May’s secret coup d’etat
and has been ruling from the
caverns below the boiler room
for ten months.
The report also pointed out
that Calvin intends to make
some changes at Senior High.
A recent edict from the Cav
erns Of Calvin stated that school
food will soon be changed to
meet the needs of the student
This innovation was decided
upon after Calvin’s recent col
laboration with Cardinal Cush
ion on the planning of school
lunches. It has been decreed
that “On Fridays ‘soul food’ will
be served to all students at AS
HS, especially the spiritually de
ficient ones.”
Vice Squad Raids
A.V. Stag Show
Members of the Albemarle
Vice Squad raided the Audio-
Visual Room yesterday and seiz
ed several allegedly obscene
films and tape recordings.
Two unidentified A. V. mem
bers were arrested and charged
with possession of pornographic
materials.
The raid was the result of a
complaint by a certain French
teacher whose room is near the
A. V. room.
“People would be shocked if
they know the filth that was
going on in there,” commented
the teacher. “Why last week
they were showing ‘Bambi!’ A
lot of people think ‘Bambi’ is
an innocent film but there’s a
lot of sexual symbolism in it
All those naked animals. . .”
The confiscated materials
were turned over to Warden
Hawkins who said he would have
“to study the films and tapes
very carefully before making
any decision.”
students, Hawkins was forced
to leave when the rebels threat
ened to feed him three pounds
of surplus cafeteria prunes.
Sgt. Crowell defended the
vault until student Tom Adams
commandeered the P.A. and be
gan to recite one of his typical
radio broadcasts. Becoming
very nauseous, Sgt. Crowell
barely had time to write her
self a permit before leaving for
the rest room.
Students immediately began
to barricade the office. Wayne
Davis and his bricklaying squad
quickly erected a four-foot wall
of bricks and empty beer cans
to defend the students.
At 1:30 p.m., teachers led by
Gen. Nell “Foghorn” Wester-
lund, made a last-ditch effort
to liberate the office. Students
met the attack with a barrage
of paper clips, pencils, rotten
prunes and stale rolls, but were
soon defeated.
During the furious hand-to-
hand combat, Gen. Westerlund
put three students out of com
mission while Madame Deese
wounded two rebels with the
spikes of her high-heel shoes.
Charles Crawley also won
honor by knocking four persons
unconscious. Unfortunately, two
were students.
Student survivors were taken
to Stanly County Hospital. Five
points will be taken off each
of their grades.
Misery Is A Wet Puppy
Misery Is. . .
Prunes.
Being carded at Kep’s.
Your girl friend knitting baby
booties.
One black sock and one blue
one.
Your little sister finding your
copy of Candy.
Chemistry, when R. C. is fresh
out of amusing anecdotes.
Getting stuck in the mud just
when you are leaving Badin
Lake.
Drinking two pepsis at Wil
helm’s right before the church
sermon.
Sideswiping your insurance
man’s car.
An announcement by Mr. Haw
kins.
Kissing your baby cousin and
finding out he has the mumps.
A Green Fly burger.
A Playboy with the centerfold
removed.
Happiness Is. . .
Snow in March.
A fifty-foot scratch mark.
A Teen Dem rally.
Being left at home by yourself
for the weekend.
A warm gun.
Skinny-dipping.
The beach.
Your older brother’s I. D.
Saturdays.
Finishing your research paper
at 8:00 a.m. before it’s due
2nd period.
COMING UP
Today’s Lunch April 1
Varsity Singers cut first record, “Impossible Dream” April 1
Varsity Leapfrog Tournament (Frogpond) April 1
Girls’ Water Polo Championship (Myrtle Beach, S. C.) April 1
Race Relations Assembly (presented by track team) April 3
Easter Vacation April 4-6
Ray Von Hunnicutt Serves as Senate Page April 7-11
Varsity “Rolly-Bat” (at North Stanly) April 8
Teen Republicans “do their thing” April 11
Assembly; Library Club presents “The Dewey Decimal
System and You” April 14
Eddie Clajrwell’s Offensive Driving Course Begins April 16
r.'ack Masque Club presents “Hair” April 18
Varsity Hopskotch Tournament (at the Square) April 22
Girls’ Roller Dertiy Championship (Charlotte) May 2
Assembly: H. Rap Brown Speaks on Law and Order May 2
Rickman’s Canada-bound Bus Departs June 3
Annuals Distributed June 5
Faces Un-Focused
This month each Student Council representative voted for himself
for student of the month. This picture was taken as they were leaving
for lunch.
In recognizing their accomplishments, we first think of Doug
Pinkston who is in the back seat, although not visible at the moment.
He puts up the music each day in Varsity Singers and won the
Amateur Drawing Award for his art work in his music.
Connie Hamilton is a conscientious worker who donates her after
noon hours to pruning the school’s shrubbery. At times she has been
seen picking up beer cans in the parking lot.
Disguised at the left, rear doorknob is Patsy Davis, who, in her
many costumes, has made 21 consecutive successful trips to Hardee’s
during her lunch period in the guise of a steering wheel.
At the rear of the car is Harry Baltes, chairman of the Student
Council traffic committee, writing out a citation for Paul Wolf for
clogging a traffic lane to Hardee’s during rush hour.