biE: 000/1 Vol. X No. 0-12 (The Fool Moon) nooH Finger Senior High School, Finger, N.C. Aries 1, 2001 This Is Your Life, Anchovy! Anchovy prepares to rid ASHS of the freaks. Mafia Leader Hits Albemarle Controversial information was brought out last month in a secret interview with a reliable source. After an intensive investigation by THE FULL MOON staff members, this report was compiled. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Rumor had it that the front office had been penetrated by big-time gangsters from Chic ago. Ring leader Alma Capone was believed to be behind this whole business. With daring abandon, under cover reporters staked out the office for an undisclosed amount of time. By hiding behind files and sleeping nights in the safe, a startling expose began to form. It seems that Capone has been lifting articles from the Lost and Found, and selling them at a 100 per cent profit. Until now, students had been led to believe that unrecovered merchandise was given to charity. Now that the truth has come out, her operations are closing down. Copies of the report have been mailed to the FBI and local police headquarters. Another copy is locked in a safety deposit box in the vault of the Home Savings and Loan. It is our hope that all students with lost articles be cheerfully reimbursed. Saturday night in the big town. All the “Donnies” are out looking for trouble. Defender of the right, and probably the wrong, known to the reds of the town as Andy “Anchovy” Harwood is on the prowl. He takes his name from his hangout down at the Prince. “Anchovy” is known for his stand on law and order. He’s a tight laced son-of-a-gun who advocates throwing all the long-haired hippie freaks in jail. As he cruises the downtown business district on his Suzuki 150, obscenities can be heard ringing from the towering skyscrapers where the “fre aks” are shooting up. When fighting erupts between the “reds” and the “freaks”, Anchovy always arrives in the nick of time. Innocent bystand ers have been heard to remark, “if it weren’t for Anchovy, the freaks would run all over the “Donnies” From the editors of THE FULL MOON, all we can say is “keep up the good work, Andy.” A Hot Time In The Old Town Tonight The Pick Of The Crop Recycle this news paper. Give it to a friend. I Sun Rays | Annual Yearbooks... According to the Yearbook staff, this year’s annuals will be distributed June 7. For The Removal Of . . . The Health Careers Club is sponsoring a surgical seminar April 2-3. Appendectomies and open-heart surgery are featured this year. Debra Bryson and Mary Emmons, chief surgeons, are performing. All in need see Susan Mauldin for an appoint ment. Bring your own toenail clippers. An unbiased group of judges selected from the townspeople recently chose the following members of the Senior High faculty and student body as Superlatives for the ’72-’73 school year. Most Talented: Tracy Hicks and Joy Ussery; Most Athletic: James Van Gordon and Mrs. Westerlund; Best Dressed: “Wheezy” Swan and Lori Rusher; Most Studious: Mike Lee and Cindy Harwood; Cutest: Tommy Ross and Cheryl Mount; Neatest: Bernie Holt and Lynn “Bree”. Most Popular: Forrest Bowen and Ruthie Gulledge; Most Courteous: Jeff Redwine and Miss McKenzie; Wittiest: Rob ert Rushin and Bonnie Little; Quietest: Chick Morris and Christine Garber; Resident Plowjocks; James Cagle and Karen Greene; Most School Spiritied: Mr. Smith and Miss Misenheimer. ‘Tubber’ Award: Anthony Tyson and Fran Greenlee; Prettiest Teeth: Andy Ritchie and Teresa Montgomery; Most Likely To Succeed: Donald Lee and Mrs. Kesler; and Best All Around: Jerry Henderson and Susan Doby. Congratulations to all of these people; Senior High’s finest. We only hope next year’s Superla tives can come close to matching this year’s. These are among the finest Superlatives chosen in Senior High’s history. Words Of Wisdom BY; US It was a sunny day in June and suddenly John saw it. And he said, “This is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their countrymen.” And then, like a streak of lightening, the big bad wolf jumped out of the -tree and killed the alligator that was eating up grandad. So I went into the bathroom and threw up. It’s been nice seeing what goes on here. To my surprise I discovered that my figure is like that of a paper clip. It seemed to me that this situation is terrible. This injustessness of tranquility is the assurance of believing' in antidisestablishmentarianism. So, I’m still waiting for the French poodle I was promised six years ago. Also, my girlfriend has mono. Because, kiss him she did. Therefore the story about the giant elephant excretion is not valid. They got him for illegal search and seizure. Today is Friday and it’s gonna stay that way all day long. A survey was taken recently of what non-dating students like to do on their free Saturday nights in the “big town”. (\^’d rather not repeat what the dating students said.) Many shocking and surprising ans wers were received. Various subjects were touch ed upon, some too risque to mention. The more affluent activities for the aristocracy of Albe marle and surrounding com munities include lighting cherry bombs in front of Prince of Pizza, circling through Har- dees-Weiner King-Winks and Pines, hanging out at the mall, visiting John’s (Garrison, of course), sitting on the benches in front of the courthouse, and cruising to Norwood (otherwise known as ‘the woods.” The upper class kids also take in the “skin flicks” at the local drive-ins, keep up with Walt Disney at the Center, march single file through the down town metropolis uttering un known syllables, molest pol icemen (or get molested), climb on the sculptures at the library, turn WAYS on full blast and ride through town scaring peace- loving citizens, search for good-looking female pick-ups (or vice-versa), and last but not least, roll favorite (?) teachers’ yards and cars. The students in the lower social classes usually take trips to other metropolises such as Charlotte, Salisbury, and Con cord for their Saturday, night thrills. But by the actions of the aristocracy, it is evident that Albemarle is^ “the place to be”. THE STAFF FOR THIS ISSUE OF THE NEWSPAPER* ISAS FOLLOWS: Editor Associate Editor Business Manager Advertising Manager Feature Editor •Sports Editor Class Editor Photo Editor Beverly Sanges Brenda Burris Cathy Sinclair Kathy Neel Patti Hairyes Bonnie Chandler Shelia Barbee Terry Colpitts Gold, Brad Perry, Crystal Waller Melissa Moose. Carol Rabe, Jenell Hudson, Pattie Oettinge^ Bain Jone;, eS Coble, Rosemary Almond. Laughs - Cheaper By The Dozen Gunch Takes Title In a contest between 23 other beautiful girls in the South Stanly gym Saturday night, lovely Miss Maudeen (Maude) Gunch walked off with the coveted title of Miss South Stanly. Judging was based on talent, poise, speaking ability, grades, evening gown and bathing suit competition, and of course, beauty. For her talent presentation, Maudeen did a pantomime dance to Elvis Presley’s current hit, “You Ain’t Nothing But A Hounddog”. After the pageant, Maudeen attended a ball in her honor at The Norwood Grill. Music was provided by Flash Cadillac and the Continental Kids. For the occasion, Maudeen chose a semi-formal red chiffon dress, sticking with the school colors. The waistline was accented with white sequins and rick- rack. The shoes were silver satin with rhinestone buckles. Rhinestones and sequins em bellished her bouffant hairdo. Along with her new title, Maudeen received a $450 scholarship to Stanly Technical Institute, a trip to Charlotte donated by the Fish Camp, and 200,000 green stamps. Concerning her win, Maudeen related, “Jeepers, I’m jest tickled pink to be Miss South Stanly. I thank ye all, thank ye so much.” Dad: No!&?$&?!! Mother: (In absolute horror) Anne you didn’t! The preceeding lines come from the play “Cheaper By the Dozen” which has just received the rating of “R”. Presented in the play are lurid sex scenes, child brutality and profane language. But the rating of “R” was achieved by an unwhole some display of teacher mockery. All in all, however, it contains comedy unexcelled in this schools recent history. Everone is invited to see this master piece Friday, April 13. Father lets fly profane language in recent rehearsal” I Or Else ’ Leaves Sophs Cold Maudeen Gunch is Miss South Stanly Fire Queen. The entire sophomore class was expelled yesterday follow ing a mass demonstration. After Mr. Hawkins’ announce ment that students “throw trash in the trashcans and not on the ground-or else,” 202 sopho mores, led by Mike Lee, president, calmly licked the last bit of ice cream off their popsicle sticks and threw them on the ground. Amid gasps from the upperclassmen, the sophs stomped the sticks into the ground and returned to their fourth period classes. When asked for a statement. Lee said; “It’s not that I don’t like the new law, it’s the principal of the thing.” Mr. Hawkins stated that because of the actions of a few students the entire student body would be punished. “I was appalled by the demonstra tion,” Hawkins exclaimed. Students will no longer be allowed to eat in the cafeteria and will be forced to buy lunch at Hardees. The administration will pay no heed to any pleas for mercy.” The ruling will go into effect today.

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