MARCH 1993
THE FULL MOON
PAGE 7
MOONSHINE
EDITOR: JONATHAN HOLT
Eno Esiw Eht
By Jamie Dunn
Um. Eveiybody thinks clowns are so fiinny, but I bet if a clown stabbed you with a fork,
you wouldn’t laugh.
What’s the difference between an orange and a telei^ione pole? Motorcycles don t have
doors.
I bought a new vacuum cleaner and man, it really sucks.
The other day I was chewing on some razor blades and I thought to myself. These taste
like Schick.”
Just think, you close your eyes and lay there for hours at a time.
Why does Nightrider always ride around in the daytime?
Why do they call them the Boston Red oox? The> don’t even wear red socks. They can’t
spell very well either.
Did you ever wonder what A stands for in The A Team?
Keri is so very what?
What’s the deal with fly fishing? How do you know when to throw the small ones back.
Man.
Tho Wise One finds fiy-fisliing challenging
Bits of Green Cheese
By Christy Hendrick and Tina Lee
For the past four weeks your Bits writers have
worked long and hard snooping around finding
information worth your while. Take a little time
and see if you recognize these hushed stories.
-Who favors yellow?
-Whose vehicle got rolled and decorated with
suggestive objects late one night?
-How many hairs can tape wrapped around one’s
head pull out, and who can tell you?
-Who frequents the tanning salon five times a
Week?
-What couple secretly meets behind the old K-
Mart on Friday and Saturday nights because their
parents won't allow them to see each other?
-What AHS student got turned away upon re
questing a pedicure at a local salon?
-Who persists calling young females at 5 o’clock
in the morning, speaking with whispers and
breathing hard? Have they called you?
-What two girls are racking up on love letters?
-Who stuck their hand down a toilet and flushed
it on a dare?
-What girl undressed in front of Carl in the
auditorium after school?
If you have any information leading to clues
and the answers to the questions please contact
the Bits writers at 1-800-LUV-BITS.
Matt practices his breathing
techniques.
Qotdm Qoodies or Qolden ‘Wishes
By Christy Hendrick
March, the month of St. Patrick. Ever heard
of a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Well,
this Sl Patrick’s Day some students at Albemarle
High School have certain ideas about what they
would like waiting for them at the end of their
rainbow.
Ashley hints at her St. Patrick's Day
wish.
Latoya Gainey- A good looking man with every
thing I need for the rest of my life. (Alonzo
Mourning)
Kim Harris- Denzel Washington
Mia Crump- Amanwithalotof money and a nice
car.
Kelly Russell- Cindy Crawford
Summer Holt- Stephen
Michele Smith- Tommy
Mimi Austin- A full ride to USC.
Leslie Boyd-Joey
Ashley Burleson- A friend of Grendel.
Chris Cotton- Someone special
Matt Ritter- Money and a nice car.
Tia Green- The man of my dreams.
Nickel Burris- The Prefened Stock guys.
Karen Morton- JDC
Resa Baudoin- An intelligent Chippendale.
Michael Carrickhoff- Intercontinental Title
Stephanie Petrea-Chad
Teneka Thomas- Deon
Chad Sullivan- A new English teacher.
Jennifer Sykes- Jim Morrison
Adrian Kimrey- A man to fulfill my needs.
Anonymous- Anything, but not Daimy's mom.
John Stokes- A remodeled Ted’s Gas-n-Stuff
T-Bird Goins- A new shell.
Skip To My . . . ?
By Brian Snyder
Happy St. Patrick’s Day
Spring is arriving fast and with it are all the
long awaited activities that students love to do
whether it is a favorite sport or just an activity that
compliments beautiful weather. Many of these
activities, however, are not condoned by our
esteemed faculty, but that just doesn’t seem to
carry much weight with defiant students. A
typical spring day, temperature about78 degrees,
sun shining, may consist of awaking early and
taking a trip to Joe's Doughnut Dinette. Leaving
with a fulfilled apjjetite and a good attitude, the
thought of school may be a real downer, so many
funseekers head to their favorite spot to bask in
the sun with a friend or a special companion.
Others may go to the river for a day full of
swimmmg, skiing, and depending on the availa
bility of certain facilities, various other carnal
activities. A trip to Charlotte or any other city
besides Albemarle might be on the agenda al
though traveling to public areas may be of great
risk to your success at not attending school with
out getting caught. Malls are filled with law
enforcing officials and “wanna be” good citizens
just waiting to nab truant individuals. For further
details please contact M. A. and D. S. on what to
do if you do happen to get caught doing this or
any other illegal activity.
If you happen to be one of the many who
decide that there are several things better to do
than go to school on any given day, be sparing
with your attempts at such blasphemy. Also, be
sure you are able to check your messages if you
have an answering machine. There is always the
possiblity that the Robo-Principal will be on to
you just by the smell of things and decide to give
you a call to check on your {vesent condition and
when you plan to return to school. Don’t forget,
life is short, have fim while you can with whoever
you can, but be careful, because you never know
what lies around the next comer.
Matthew feeds a little bull to the
info-hungry officer.