NOVEMBER 1996
THE FULL MOON
Features
EDITOR: KATE MABRY
PAGE 3
How to Prepare Your Thanksgiving Feast
by Beverly Poplin
Thanksgiving brings to mind family,
&iends, and of course, food. Here are some of
AHS’s favorite turkey dishes. Each recipe is
original and genuine and certainly creative. But
one word of warning, these dinners are not en
dorsed by anyone other than their creators! Enjoy!
Landon Penington: Santa Claus will bring you
a turkey. It will be dead due to a horrible accident
on 1-85. Put him in the shower and then turn on
the hot water. It will cook to p>erfection and taste
like eggplant. Serve him with flowers, clovers,
paper, and paint.
Ross Stokes: I get my turkey each year as
consolation prizes for entering the Johnny Quest
Fan Club’s “Be Johnny Quest for a Year Con
test.” It is never living due to the fact that it is
made of all artificial flavoring. It tastes like a
juicy mass of Thanksgiving joy! Cooking is
simple. Heat in stationary oven at 400 degrees
Kelvin. Make sure to cook only on the Wednes
day after Tuesday. Place turkey in freezer until
turkey is room temperature. Remove from freezer
Landon Pennington receives his
Thanksgiving turkey from Santa.
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That'S Rll I Haue to Say Rbout That
by Kate Mabry
and enjoy! You know how Snickers bars taste
after they have been sitting in the hot sun all day?
Well, it does not taste like that. Serve with
various clam chowders from around the globe
iid unsweetened Pennsylvanian herb tea from
Indonesia.
Joe Mallory: Buy a turkey at the pawn shop. It
died because someone bashed him with Todd s
head. It tastes like a head of cabbage. To
prepare, open the bird with your thumbs. Then,
stuff it and pop in the oven. It will taste like
country ham. Serve with bananas and carrots.
Josh Hamra, Ross Huneycutt, and Amber
Tinkham: You get your turkey from northern
Siberia, of course. He died from multiple gun
shot wounds after robbing a bank and brutally
beating an elderly woman with a chicken leg
(baked, not fried). After being shot 26 times, he
looks like a dead turkey. Cook and enjoy!
JoeyJohnsen: Turkeys run wild in Mr. Eason’s
backyard. Grab one of the ugly creatures. It will
have big blue and orange stripes. Sautee in
greasy bananas until the skin slides off with ease.
Stuff with biodegradable products. It will taste a
lot like that dish at Chinese restaurant that you
think is chicken but is really cat. Serve with
nothing but a smile.
Brandon Cooke: Buy a quality turkey at Super
K-mart. He died while being transported in a
Mac Truck. He looks road-ridden and caked with
smog. Hang “Mr. Gobble" high from a tree and
let his entrails slowly fall out. Take him and
place him on a cookie sheet. Insert small acu
puncture needles in his skin to relax his muscles.
Turn the heal up in your home to 90 degrees and
place the nirkey on a vent. This will slow roast
him to perfection.
Ladares Lilly: Get your turkey from Amhurst.
That’s where all turkeys stay. He will look like
a wet anteater with spider legs. To cook, first dip
him in glue and pine cones. Bake him in oven at
280degrees for 30 minutes. If proper cooking in
structions are followed, he will taste like choco
late covered roaches. Eat wiJi fried chicken
heads. d- n k*
W.D. Benson: Buy a turkey on sale at Big Bob s
Used Turkeys. It will look kinda like Coach
Weiker. Wash it off with a hose and stuff him.
Serve with red jiggly stuff.
Have you ever listened to your classmates talk
in the halls, lunchroom, or classroom? If you
have, did you notice certain words or phrases that
were repeated during the conversation? Many
students here at Albemarle High School have
cute, catchy phrases or plain silly words that they
say all the time. If you have never heard these
people below say their favorite saying, next time
in the lunchline or classroom stand or sit near
them to see if you catch them saying their phrase.
Marci Tucker and Kelly Rakes - “ Asi es la vida”
and "and stuff’
Jennifer Ingram - “Bellisimos ojos"
Band - “Rest snap!”
Wesley Burris - “Uhh....I don’t know”
Emily Rogers - “Bite my #?!”
Kelly Miller - “What are you talking about Wil
lis?”
Shaimon Efird - “Normal people worry me.
Beans!, Cheese Nips!, This is gonna rule!”
Trevor Szolics - “Check please!” and “Nurse,
I’m ready to leave now!”
Chris Mauldin - “I don’t have one.”
Stephanie Irby - “Dert! Dert! Dert!”
Kou Yang - “Whatever”
Will Joines - “No!”
Tajuania Scott - “Ooh church.”
Rusty Peirce - “Crisco”
David Boysworth - “Butter”
Diana Hochkirch - “What is this?”
Brent Whitley - “I hope I make above a seventy.”
Andy Smith - “Chillin like a mug.”
Dan Barringer - “Crevice, originally quoted by
Stephen Efird.”
Brandon Cooke - “I don’t say a lot of one thing,
I say a lot of nothing.”
Tiera McDonald - “You were wrong for that.”
Taree Hyatt - “So”
Charlotte Phillipy - “Hey big guy.”
Michael Burris - “Heck yeah!”
Robert Crawley - If it hurts, don’t do it.”
Kendra Edwards - “Good, bad, right, wrong.”
Adam Boysworth - “Pick up my bumper.”
David Boysworth expresses his favorite
expression, "Butter."
Just Give Me An "A"
by Kate Mabry
Year after year Thanksgiving is a time to be
thankful for your family, friends, and the food
that is on the table before you. I asked AHS
students what the teachers could do to make the
holiday more thankful. Here are some of their
replies.
Marci Tucker - no more homework
James Monroe - throw a party
Denita Epley - Mr. Blalock to give me an “A”
in physics and Mrs. Hathcock to give me an “A”
in English.
Emily Rogers - Mrs. Hathcock would give up a
free 100, tell us we don’t have to complete the
research paper, and stop vocabulary tests.
Jennifer Sikes - Mrs. Fast would give everyone
Brian Barker would be thankful
for a break.
and “A” and stop the book reports.
Julie Burris - To receive an “A” in English and
no more reading that literature.
Anne Penny - Mr. Hollis could make marketing
a lot more exciting.
Kristen Misenheimer - Weiker would pick on
someone his own age; not size.
Jamie Honeycutt - Thanksgiving would be so
much more thankful if Weiker gave me an “A”.
Angie Bell - Mr. Shaw would give me an “A” in
A.P. Biology and stop giving us essays!
Anonymous - Mrs. Hathcock would tear out all
the bad people’s tongues, nail them to the wall,
and let the evil people bleed to death, and then
give no homework for a week.
Katherine Garrison - show Charlie Brown’s
Thanksgiving Special during class.
Heather Freshly - Like in elementary school, let
us make Thanksgiving crafts and watch holiday
movies.
Crystal Swaringen - The teachers would let us
out of class early and then give me a birthday
gift.
Brian Barker - give us a break
Chris Handy - Mr. Neal could go ahead andgive
me my diploma.
Tim Galloway - Mr. Holt would give me an
“A”,
Diana Hochkirch - Just make imy subject more
exciting and give me an "A”.