October 27t I960
THE iiOlT-CTAIN TRAIL
Pase 6
Humop
Parking Space: An unfillabla opening
in an unending line of automobiles, near
an unapproachable fireplug, on the other
side of the one way street.
An auditor got out of bed recently com
plaining that he hadn't slept a wink, ''
Why didn't you count sheep?'' his vdfe
asked.
''I did and that's what got me into
trouble,'' answered the man. "I made
a mistake during the first hour and it
took me until I woke up this morning to
correct it,''
Hrs. Smythe Brovme was making the final
arrangements for her elaborate reception,
•'Bridget,'' she said to her old servant,
''for the first 30 minutes after six o'
clock I want you to stand at the draxiring
room door and call the guests' names as
they arrive,''
Bridget's face lit up, ''Very well,
ma'am,'' she replied, ''I've been want
ing to do that to some of your friends
for years,''
The father sav; his son sitting on top of
another boy in the front yard,
' 'V/hy are you pinning George to the
ground like that?'' Jimmy's dad demanded.
''He hit me in the eyei''
''How many times,'' reprimanded the
father, ''have I told you to count up to
100 before you lose your temper?''
''I am counting up to 100,'' cried
Jimmy ''but I am sittin on him so he'll
be here when I get through counting,'*
An old country doctor parked his Ilodel-
T on the street, V/hen he came back, a
number of youths were standing aroiand
laughing at the old car. The doctor
climbed into the seat and said mildly,
''The car's paid for, boys,'' Then he
looked deliberately from one boy to an
other, ' 'You're not— and you're not —
and you're noti''
A romance of long standing had gone on
the rocks, and a friend was questioning
the V70uld-be bridegroom,
''VJhy, after all these years," he in
quired, ''did you break your engagement
to ilary?''
''■Jell,'' replied the other sadly, "
I only did to the engagement what she
did to me,''
A lone tourist on a trip across v/est
Texas discovered his X’/atch had stopped.
He traveled for three days without seeing
a soul. Finally, he spied a man digging
mesquite roots and stopped to ask him
the time. The Texan pulled out his watci^
looked at it carefully, looked sloi^ly
into the sky at the sun and said, ''It's
10:35."
''Is that sun time or railroad time.?"
the tourist asked,
'•Hit don't make any difference,'' said
the Texan, ''You^re as far from one as
toother,'*
Speaker: "The time has come, fellow
citizens, wehn we must get rid of social
ism, and communism, and anarchism, and—''
AGED LISTNER: ''And let's throw out
rheumatism, tool''
Margery came running into the house
dragging her little brother, whose face
showed the mark of an attack by some
insect, ''Oh, mother, looki'' she cried,
the memory of a recent epidemic in her
mind, ''Bobby has been bitten by a
measlel''
"I wonder why they say‘Amen* and not
•Awomen,'' Bobby,''
''Because they sing hymns and not hers,
stupid,''
They were discussing a mutual acquain
tance ,
''Thompson's not a bad fellow,'' said
Hayes, ''He always claims that when
charity is needed he is the first to put
his hand in his pocket,''
' 'Yes,'' the other said xingenerously,
''and he keeps it there until the danger
is over,''
ANN; I've decided that I won't be marr
ied until I'm 2$,
DORIS; And I've decided not to be
25 until I'm married.