November 9,1994 2 Campus Opinion Editorial: Domestic violence is a widespread social problem by Shannon Peterson A mother and four-yearold daugh ter crouch in fear underneath a bed as a man in the hotjse tries to kick down the locked door of the bedroom where the two are seeking security. The door is successfully thrust open and knocked down on the floor, along with the dresser that was barricading it. The mother tries to quietly tell her daughter that everything is going to be all right, but the man makes it to their hiding place in two quick strides and pulls them out. The daughter is sent reeling across the room, and the mother is pushed up against the wall and stepped and hit on by the man that is her husband. As her husband is thrusting his adrenaline-filled fists into her flesh, the mother does not think about her pain at all. She is hurting only by hearing her daughter’s whimpering cries and watching the blood trickle down her forehead. Should she run over and rescue her child? No, that would only cause her hus band to get even more angry and at tack the four-year-old further. Why does this continue, and why hasn’t anything been done ^out it? No one can really understand abuse and why it goes on imtil she experi ences it. There is, however, a way to teach others and to get a grasp of some idea as to what is going on by looking closely inside the abused and her abuser. 'The male abuser appears as anaver- age person toward others outside his home. He may be a prominent business man with everything going his way, and others can never imagine the real horror that goes on because they only see the false “femily man with a caring heart” facade and are not there to see him rip off the mask behind closed doors. This “Jekyll and Hyde” syndrome Meredith Herald Editor in Chief Christina Peoples Layout Editor - Shannon Peterson Copy Editor Melissa Massengill Features Editor. Clarky Lucas News Editor Addle Tschamler Photo Editor Jetson Business Manager Carrie Shaw Reporters Arinn Dixon, Ashley Peay, Kimberly Zucker, Keri VanDoren, Kristine Stagg, Melissa Cloer, Teresa Latham, Meagan Cronauer, Marsha Tutor Photographers Laura Ross, Jan Seate Faculty Consultants Garry Walton, Rod Cockshutt, Nan Miller Adviser Paula Daniels Editorial Policy: The Meredith Heraid is published by the College throughout the academic year. The paper is funded by the College and through adverising. The opinions expressed in edrtorial columns do not necessarily reflect those of the college administraiton, faculty or student body. Letters to the Editor Policy: Everyone in the MeredKh community is invited to write a letter to the editor. All published letters must be typewritten with contact name, address and telephone number. All letters must be signed by the author, but names will be withheld upon request. causes the wife to live in constant fear because she does not know when he will become violent. People automatically assume that a man has a mental problem if he abuses his wife. This is not always true. Mental handicap should not be used as an excuse for his behavior. A man has total recollection of what he is doing when he does it, and later he apologizes repeatedly to his wife. Ona previous "Saturday Night Live," an impostor for Ike Turner had a flash back of when he used to abuse his former wife Tina Turner and said he was sorry over and over again. “Ike” got roses and a mink coat for “Tina” after the argument in hopes that she would forgive him. Usually after a violent spell, the couple goes through a “honeymoon” period in which the husband is saying he is sorry through his actions. Women, on the other hand, are a completely different story. They are the victims, but yet they do not runaway from their livesoffear. Why is that? There are multiple reasons. One is that a wife takes the mar riage vows literally. One woman said of her abusive marriage, “I took it very seriously, the marriage, the commitment. I wanted more than anything to make it woric.” Another reason is that they take the children into consideration and stay in the marriage simply for the sake of them. The mother wants her children to grow up in the “nuclear fcimily” atmo sphere with a feither to help in support ing them financially and emotionally. What she does not know is that when she stays in the marriage, the children have to watch helplessly as their father hurts their mother or expe rience physical abuse themselves. This constant living in a “fight or flee” habitat causes emotional trauma that leaves behind scars and possible severe mental incapacities. Third, a woman loves her husband and cannot imagine her life without him. She is afraid of supporting herself alone, and her nurturing instincts cause her to wonder what will happen to him if she does leave and cannot take care of him. A wife thinks about all of the good times they shared during their mar riage to ride out the storm of abuse. If leaving the abuser is the best remedy for this devastating problem, then why are so many men threatening and even killing their wives after they leave? Most women are afraid to leave their husbands only because they think that the abusers will chase after them just to keep the secret hidden. Luckily, there are shelters for abused women and their children, and America has a total of 1,200 shelters. Raleigh has Interact, a 24-hour safety and support program, that deals specifically with domestic violence. Shelters are helpful, but only if a woman admits she is being battered and seeks help on her own. Sometimes the woman takes jus tice into her own hands and kills the abuser in what she thinks is self-de fense. The police and criminal justice sys tem, however, do not see it as self- defense if they do not see the abuser physically attacking his wife. Michael Dowd, a defense attorney said that “...battered women often de fended themselves when charged with killing their abuser by pleading mental disease of defect, insanity, or extreme emotional disturbance.” This is wrong. Why should a woman humble and degrade herself further by pleading guilty by means of insanity if she was only protecting herself? 'The anti-woman bias in the jmtice system needs to be looked closer at and changed. There may be a significant differ ence between men and women, and I certainly agree with that, but no one deserves to be brutalized unmercifully. This injustice toward women leads the abused victim to feel utterly help less because not only is she being abused by her husband, but she is also ABUSE see page eleven

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