Newspapers / Montreat College Student Newspaper / Feb. 9, 1968, edition 1 / Page 3
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PAGE 3 THE DIALETTE FEBRUARY 9, 1968 The 95 Theses 1. All ye who live by the rules shall die by the rules. 2. “It is expected that every student will live in harmony with the spirit and according to the regulations of the college.” 3. “The honor System at Montreat-Anderson College is an intergral and cen tral aspect of life in the community. 4. Mr. Hinkle is the Easter Bunny. 5. There have been at least two Presidents who have accomplished less than Johnson. 6. It should be remembered that the library is for the faculty as well as the students. 7. The Dialette is an example of the irresponsibility through student freedom. 8. One is a company, Two is a crowd. Three is $1,400 more. 9. Propaganda techniques of the Presbyterian Church are more highly de veloped than the Kremlin. 10. “Life at Montreat-Anderson College is based on the belief that the ideal community is made up of honorable individuals. 11. Perspective students get brainwashed. 12. Faculty members who are friends of the Administration are not always friends of the students. 13. The law being what it is, we have to grant the Negro Equal Rights be fore we can put him in his place. 14. What does the Dean and Pontius Pilate have in common? 15. Changing the drinking rule will only modify the hypocracy of Montreat. 16. Love your neighbor if he agrees with you. 17. If the Science Dept, had its way we would stop being human. 18. “The Americans in Viet Nam are making Communists of our men, prostitutes of our women and beggars of our children.” Observation of a Vietnamese peasant. 19. “The Library is located in Gaither Chapel.” 20. Dr. Davis is alive. He lives in a stone house. 21. “There is always someone on duty to welcome a sick student at the in firmary.” 22. Does Mr. West own a potato farm in Idaho? 23. All history teachers wear boxer shorts. 24. You didn’t have to serve in the Army to be a good math teacher. 25. The Romans would be proud if they could see Montreat’s new sidewalks and steps. 26. In France on restroom walls: Yankee go home but first, spend your money. 27. A. P. - $ $. 28. Negroes being fully human, do not have souls either. 29. Miss Hoyt flew LSD to Washington. 30. 'I’hose who preach perpetual dryness should remember that abstinence makes the heart grow fonder. 31. Where else would you find a cashier taking Accounting? 32. Can Elizabeth really walk on water? 33. “You are the governing system and you are responsible for its success. ’ 34. Captain Bible sleeps in his underwear. 35. “An accused student has the right to hear the accuser face to face.” 36. Miss Lucy should go to Ho'lywood, the walk would do her good. 37. Please don’t throw brownies, someone may get killed. 38. Soup cools quicker when served in a saucer. 3!). Georgia Bustle is a sadist. 40. The nicest people on camnus are grandmothers. 41. “Students are urged to a'tend regularly the church of their choice.” 42. “Because of the importance of full student participation and the diffi culty of group planning with only partial membershp present, attendance will be required for the following: a) Student body meeMngs (3 demerits for each absence) b) Hall Courts (2 demerits for each absence) c) Class meetings (3 demerits for each absence) d) Dorm meetings (2 demerits for each absence) 43. Foolish virgins don’t last. 44. Montreat students are culturally depraved; therefore professors must not expect to educate them. 45. A sweet smile can hide a wicked mind. 46. The genius of a Christian Liberal Arts College lies in its mission to question the basic pressuppositons of both society and religion. 47. Southerners are the only white people who are afraid they would marry Negroes if the law did not prohibit it. 48. A college is what the teachers and students make it. . 49. Mr. Crumpler taught Kindergarten before coming to Montreat. 50. Valley of the Jolly. HO! HO! 51. T. S. Eliot’s decision to become a Christian did not alienate him from Cocktail parties. 52: Montreat students are incapable of writing this document. . 53. “It is recognized that sex is one of the most creative aspects of the hu man nature God has given us.” 54. “The College does not approve of secret organizations.” 55. Forty-eight more years and Montreat will be an antique. 56. Montreat students are the world’s most evil beings and need strong con trol. 57. The C. C. U. N. is Communist. 58. If honorary doctorates were not acceptable academic credentials Mon treat would be hard-pressed for leadership. 59. “The cafeteria service tries to serve quality food.” 60. Polly want a Science Building? 61. “Do Not Disturb signs are to be respected. 62. Dr. Spock doesn’t believe in burning babies. 63. To be responsible means to be more than just an echo. 64. Liberal means to be more than just an echo. 64. Liberal means free. 65. ’The two main goals at Montreat are to look nice and make money. A hotel can do this nicely. 66. Was Scrooge also a Business Manager? 67. Montreat faculty doesn’t publish. It doesn’t perish either. 68. The SGA has only been proposed. 69. Committees are set up to propose more proposals. 70. The Black Mtn. Nazi party gave the Volkswagons to Montreat. 71. The bell in the bell tower has no ding-dong. 72. Student or Music Major? 73. “During the orientation period the first nine weeks of the college year, freshmen women must double date when leaving campus.” 74. “Montrat-Anderson College is opposed as a matter of principle to the use of alcholic beverages by the students.” 75. Biggest joke on campus: the drinking rule. 76. All male Deans flunked Speech 211. 77. No wonder the dish water is slow. There are only 17 boys to operate it. 78. Yes Virginia, the University Library has two doors also. 79. Study when you are bored. £0. The Dialette Editor is a pacifist. "I “To be eligible to remain in college after his first semester of work at Montreat-Anderson College, a student must make a quality point average of at least 1,12, must pass at least nine hours of academic work, and must make at least a C in at least one, two or four credit hour courses during the semester. 82. Rules are made to be broken. 83. “Students are forbidden from gambling.” 84. All post masters should have beautiful blond hair. 85. Is the Humanities Dept, really human? 86. At Montreat, math professors teach P. E. and P. E. instructors teach math. ... ... . 87. St. Peter was fat and had blond hair. 88. Montreat ditch diggers are paid $3.80 an hour. No wonder they take so long. 89. “The penalty for the first excused absence (chapel) beyond the number allowed is a campus for one week; for a second it is suspension from college for the remainder of the semester.” 90. “Second semester students with an overall 4.0 average may have ab sences limited only by one A and B and 4 above,” (?) 91. Cafeteria employees who smile get fired. 92. Why put a cross in the chapel? Then where would vve show movies? 93. “I pledge with God’s help to uphold the Honor Code of Montreat-Ander son College.” 94. Our fine arts scries is neither fine nor art. 95. Martin Luther was a trouble maker.
Montreat College Student Newspaper
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Feb. 9, 1968, edition 1
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