Thr M)/(ntstone
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SUontreat Coffee’s Student ^oice
Spring Has Sprung
From The Editor
Hope everyone has been
enjoying the Whetstone this year.
We have had lots of fun getting
each issue out for all to read. If you
have an idea for an article or wish
to write one, go for it! Email it to
someone on staff and we will try
to get it in the next issue. Hope to
hear from you!
-Nic Gerstrung
It s About That Time
By: Alana Vandernoord
In the 1940 s, legendary
boxer Joe Louis responded to his
approaching brawl with the light
heavyweight champion Billy Conn
with the famous quote, “You can
run, but you can’t hide.” What
history doesn’t tell us is that he
was actually referring to a seasonal
epidemic that we will soon embark
upon: Spring Fever. Before I go on,
let’s review what an epidemic is so
that we can fully appreciate and
grasp it’s meaning.
Spring Fever is an infec
tious and undesirable disease more
severe than the flu or your average
cold. It preys like the hungry lion
preparing to pounce on the in
nocent gazelle. We are the gazelles.
There is no way of knowing when
Spring Fever is going to attack or
who will be the first victim; no
one is safe. Al
though it is not
fatal, once you
are infected, it
will not quit
until it has
abolished your
time manage
ment skills,
diminished
your academic
ambitions, and
magnified your
singleness.
You know you’re on the
radar when you find yourself star
ing out the window during your
ep-i-dem-ic
noun
a widespread occurrence of an
infectious, undesirable disease in a
community at a particular time
Synonyms: outbreak, plague,
pandemic, craze
Photo by: Grace Freeman
Stats class dreaming of soft, green
fur cushioned under your toes
while you’re
taking your
sweetheart of
three weeks
on a dreamy
stroll to discuss
future plans
and wedding
arrangements.
If the sudden
urge to exit the
friend zone
comes upon
you, re-evalu
ate your exit strategy because there
is no escaping. Delete your Taylor
Swift station on Pandora before
Staff
Editor: Nic Gerstrung
Copy Editor: Katy Burger
Layout&Design: Joseph Palazzola
Supervisor: Todd Runkle
Contributors
Alanna Vandernoord
Collin Clarke
your girlfriend finds out and won
ders why her voice isn’t enough for
you.
Spring Fever is very real.
It is upon us. At the first sign of
contamination, know that admit
ting you’re a gazelle is the first
step to being criticized, ridiculed,
and shunned by your roommate,
friends, professors, and mother.
Now that every hopelessly roman
tic Montreatian is aware of the
truth behind this epidemic, there is
no denying the affect it has on us.
May you all prance in the sunlight
while plucking pink pedals and
shamefully whispering to yourself,
“He loves me. He loves me not.”
You can run, but you can’t hide.
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