i S.J I
'\“'*md’im&.-- ’V
r*
Mm
10
THE CADUCEUS.
SINEWS AND SCIENCE
JOSEPH LAWLER, WENDELL ROBERTS, K. J. DALQUIST.
FATE IS LOCOED
CLAWS ARE CLIPPED FROM TER
RIBLE TIGERS.
(BY O. HENRY LAWLOR)
One of the most terrible massacres
ever perpetrated on a diamond was
pulled off on Berry Field last Satur
day.
“Allah be praised it is Pate” is the
only excuse for it.
Custer’s last stand was child’s play
compared to the tomahawking that the
officers of No. 54 outfit received. The
meek and lowly orderlies just “Be-
voed” them around the arena and it
was a broken-hearted gang of pulse
estimators that left the field to nurse
their moaning Cinderellas and to com
pare stone bruises, while on the other
hand the espirit de corps of the vic
tors was quite noticeable.
In the ninth inning the Vanquished
ones put over a rally which netted
them six runs and made them as happy
as a Wall Street lamb when lie sees
Baraboo Steel making the grade.
As the contest progressed a few
features were sprung that made the
game tasty, for instance, the soldierly
Captain Meade, looking as smooth as
an alibi, goes over and turns in a
pretty running catch of a long fly
which was applauded heartily. Then
the gallant Lieutenant “Irving” Cobb
made a Ringllng Brothers’ slide tor
home, closely pursued by “Stand
Away” Collier. Dame Rumor had it
that the pursurer was tapped for fluid
by the pursued and was out to get
even.
Then the noble friend of the af
flicted, Captain '“Ambassador” Choate,
smote out a real Spartan triple and
tore around those bases in a connect
ed manner.
Captain Dawdle and Captain Hagler
were in the points for the officers and
while putting everything they had on
the spheroid except anthrax, fell for
eign legion like to the “Busy Berthas
of the Via of Hoboken outfit.
Major Burrage certainly had his eye
on the ball, which also speaks well
for the state of Maine and Portland.
Cement Captains Freed and dinner
held the slants of their assaulted slab
artists and tried to steady them but
to no avail.
For the orderlies Sergeant Keefher
and Chef Zissett, in fact, the whole
team played great ball. Cupid Ran
kin stole second base with the bases
full, which was the big event of the
P. M. matinee. He just “Casey Jones-
ed” his way along the liberty loving
paths until brought to a realization of
his crime. This is the third time this
has been done in baseball.
Sergeant Peoria Doc Rand had an
easy afternoon handling his charges,
as they were out for blood, so Doc
ambled into the grandstand and chat
ted with Dave Warfield and “Poco”
Bennett.
Theda O'Connor umpired and gave
general satisfaction throughout the
contest, hut had to leave early on ac
count of a pressing engagement. It
was certainly an afternoon of mirth
and melody and in consolation to the
defeated ones we will repeat: “IT I’
FATE ALLAH BE PRAISED.”
TIGER LIKE.
CAPTAIN DAWDLE OF
THE VANQUISHED
NINt
NOTES OF THE GAME.
Captain Zinner, in the opinion of the
writer, must have had played a little
ball in his day. Not that the efficient
registrar is getting old, but because he
still can Fox Trot but he just naturally
handles himself well.
The orderlies were at all times non
chalant and we’re sorry at the plight
of their superiors.
Quite a crowd was present at the
game and quite a collection was taken
up for the “Lost St. Bernard Dogs
in the Alps.
TRAVELS NORTH.
Private Theodore Neal, associate
business manager of The Caduceus,
left on Tuesday for a ten-day furlough,
which will be spent at Newark, Ohio.
GOING OVER.
Six officers who have been at the
base hospital for some time have been
called out during the past week. They
are Captains Wilkes and Webster and
Lieutenants Collins, Algood, Lock-
bridge and Ijoville. They have gone to
a point of embarkation.
WE THOUGHT SO
’Twas at the Army Ball;
He held her close and
Whispered sweet nothings into her
ear.
And she believed him—
At least, he thought she did.
He begged her for a kiss;
She gave it and
Told him that he was the fiist,
And he believed her—
At least, she thought he did.
q’hat night she told
All her friends.
How she’d strung the poor fellow
along—
And they believed her—
At least she thought they did
Every man in his company
Heard all about
The little peach that fell;
And they believed him—
At least he thought they did.
And the next day,
She wrote and told her fiance
How she’d missed him at the dance;
And he believed her—
At least she thought he did.
And the Sammy wrote
The girl back home;
That army life was hell.
And she believed him—
And least, he thought she did.
—Contributed by Sergt Arnold W.
Goldstein.
WITH REVERSE ENGLISH.
There is a man in Bozeman, Mont.,
who will probably go through life
bewailing the injustice of the draft
board that certified him for service
despite the fact that he presented a
letter written by his wife to prove
that he had a dependent family. Here
is the letter;
“Dear United States Army: —
My husband ast me to write a
recommend that he supports his
family. He cannot read, so don’t
tell him. Just take him. He
aiin’t done nothing but play a fid
dle and drink lemon essence since
I married him, eight years ago
and I got to feed seven kids of his.
Maybe you can get him to carry
a gun. He’s good on squirrels and
eatin’. Take him and welcum. I
need the grub and his bed for the
kids. Don’t tell him this, but
take him.”
POULSEN LOCATED.
Word from Sergeant Neils Poulsen
is to the effect that he is well located
at Camp Gordon, Atlanta, Ga., and
has started work of preparing himself
for a commission. His address is 15th
Company, C. O. T. C., Camp Gordon,
Atlanta, Ga.