Freshman-Sophomore Prom
Held; Frankie Laine Engaged
‘Cry Of Wild Goose’
Theme Of Occasion
The Preshman^Sophomore prom
was held in the Tee Pee High
cafeteria last night between the
hours of 9:00 p.m. and 4:00 a.m.
The theme was “The Call of
the Wild Goose,” and the cafeteria
was uniquely decorated with live
geese flying overhead and
teacher’s gradebooks (which con
tained the largest obtainable sup
ply of goose-eggs) tastefully
scattered about the room.
Frankie Laine had been engaged
as vocalist, but Perry McDowell
insisted that he was to sing. After
the battle was over, they decided
to be friends anyway, and sang
“Lavender Coffin” as a duet.
The happiest couple on the floor
was Claude Earle and Patsy Miller,
who rubbed elbows on the crowded
dance floor all evening long.
Students ran into difficulty in
trying to dance to the theme song
and to various other songs that
Frankie Laine is prone to sing.
They made valiant efforts, how
ever, and didn’t give up until
Tommy Woolen broke his leg at
tempting to dance “Mule Train.’’
During intermission, students re
freshed themselves by sipping
goose-egg-nogs and smoking cig
arettes.
Sgt. Shields and a few other
members of the force were chap
erones. Other than that, there
were no oldsters present, as Mr.
Whitley and the faculty members
felt that pupils of Tee Pee Hi
were capable of taking care of
themselves and would be com
pletely “in order.” (In fact, strait-
jackets weren’t issued ’til 2:30
a.m.)
School No Longer
Compulsory
It was announced today by Sup
erintendent Charlie Footnote Song
that beginning April 1, school will
be non-compulsory.
This statement by the superin
tendent was not altogether un
expected, as many people, partic
ularly students, have been known
in the past to have expressed a
strange desire for such a measure.
Just think—poor students won’t
have to wake in the middle of
the night and drag their weary
limbs away to the Jones Street
workhouse! No more slaving aw'ay
at math problems! No more foot
ball players passing out after
carrying literature books up to
the third floor!
But—say man—after a few days
away from the beloved institution.
I’ll bet kids’ll be howlin’, “I Wan
na Go Back”—maybe ?
Seniors To Give
Escalators
Low Down
April 3—Tina to dance for as
sembly.
.4pril 11—Black Bison play Trin
ity for world championship.
April 1.3—Best Up and Down Con
test.
April 14—“To Do or Not to Do”—
play by Tommie Lentz.
April 21—“Escalator Day.”
i
7,
School Gets Television Station;
Many Programs Scheduled
Ether Wave
I,
April 3—'Tocal Varieties by Mr.
Walter.
April 4—“My True Story,” by
Miss Goodman.
April 5—“Crime Does Not Pay,”
by Brady Gang.
April 6—“It Pays To Be Ignor
ant,” by Senior not planning
to graduate.
THE FOOT .RR
VOL. 28 NO. 8 TEE PEE HIGH SCHOOL, HIGH POINT, N. C. April 1, 1950
Ishee Distillery
Brought To Light
what’s going on behind our
backs? Mr. Ishee, be ashamed!
Using your influence on poor,
helpless little Elliott Abies and
Arch McMullan! You should be
marched down to Miss Menden
hall’s office! What a rummy sit
uation!
Mr. Cuthbert Ishee has been
hiding a distillery in the chem
lab. The only persons to suspect
it heretofore were Arch and “Abe.”
Mr. Ishee couldn’t stand the pub
licity he might have gotten, so he
mysteriously acquired two little
helpers. Able and Willing. Here’s
how his scheme works:
Cockeyed Cuthbert concocts the
curious (gettin’ in a rut) liquid,
Epiglottistical Elliott tastes it for
perfection, and Mighty Mouth
McMullan stores it in jugs for
future use.
Leroy Land Gets
Sought-After Job
Leroy Land has again been
awarded a great honor. -Selected
from a group of thirteen other
applicants for the job, Leroy was
given the much sought after pos
ition of blowing out all the lights
every night at Tee Pee High
School.
When -Sheriff Snipes was forced
to resign from this job because
he had given out of wind, this
honor was bestowed upon Leroy
because of his great blowing abil
ity.
Leroy’s duties in connection with
this new job are to drop whatever
he is doing (whether it be Helen
or a pool stick) at 9:00 p.m. and
report for action at school. He then
goes through the entire building
blowing out every light.
The photographer has caught
Leroy trying to extinguish the
last lamp, but it looks as if he'*is
all blown out.
Hester Caught In
‘Phoney’ Act
Sorry, wrong number, Joe. Yes,
our candid cameramen snapped
this pose just as Joe Hester, noted
clarinet player and scholar, was
attempting to put through a phone
call to a certain number.
Jerry Phelps, who was loafing
close by, happened to hear Joe
screaming Joanne Darr’s name
into the receiver. Jerry, being the
heroine type, just happened to
bring John Carter to the scene of
conversation. Now, jealous John
took one look at poor, defenseless
Joe and jerked down the whole
works—nickle box and all.
Joe was so dumb-founded by
John’s quick and wild gestures
that he forgot the phone had been
disconnected, and with wires still
in hand kept right on yelling, “Is
Joanne thar?”
Hungry Three Go
To New York
After much pondering, discus
sion, and planning, the senior
class of Tee Pee High School has
decided to present as their going
away gift to the school—- a going
up present—escalators.
The idea was proposed by
Charlie Martin, who stated that
a recent survey of classes on the
third floor showed that thei’e is
a decided mental decline of the
students on this floor compared
with that of those on the first
and second floors. This is because
students are completely exhausted
from climbing the steps in order
to reach third floor classes.
The escalator was unanimously
voted upon, and plans for instal
lation have been made. When this
conveyance is completed, Mr. Diet
Pill Weekly will proclaim “Escal
ator Day” for the school. At this
time students will spend the entire
day riding up and down on the
new escalators.
Talent Scout Offers
Laws Movie Contract
From a chorus line of eight
gorgeous specimen of feminine
beauty, Jerry -Laws, first on
the right, was spotted by a talent
scout because of his outstandingly
lovely and shapely legs.
The smooth contours of Jerry’s
limbs immediately brought him a
contract from a well-known Holly
wood studio. A special luxurious
plane will fly Jerry to Hollywood
next week, where he will make
a screen test. This glamorous new
discovery has been urged to have
his valuable legs insured for §100,-
000 before he travels west.
We hope that you can muster
A laugh or two, and then
Can read this paper over,
’N’ read it twith a grin.
The Hungry Three—Mudd Mont
gomery, Eggy Tobias, and Smerry
Anderson — will leave for Radio
City, New York, next week where
they will play for the Hadacol
spotty radio program.
This trio has accepted this job
in order to pay for the nourish
ment treatments which two of their
former members. Baby Ruth and
Ferdinand Bullock, are taking at
the Hadacol Laboratories in Alas
ka.
Ruth and Bullock hope to be
able to return to school before
the time for six weeks’ tests. The
Hungry Three will leave for New
York Monday morning. -Since the
hungry group is financially em-
barrased, they are in dire need
of transportation to the “big city.”
It is rumored that iSgt. (Shields
and his 7th period driver training
class will drive them to James
town, from whence they will hitch
hike to their destination.
Tea Party To Be Held
Each And Every Day
Today, in a long and uninter
esting speech. Diaphanous P.
Whittle, principal of H.P.HjS.
(Horrible Place for Halfbrain
Scholars) officialy opened the new
television station which has been
set up in the school.
Mr. W’hittle said in his speech
that this new thingamagigger
would certainly benefit the school.
He said that it would, among other
things, w'hich we, of course, did
not doubt, that maybe sometime,
only if the students wished it,
but not too soon, though maybe
next week, and if the teachers
wished so too, and, of course, they
will. That, among other things,
was the main thought of his ad
dress.
Now, for the television! Instead
of installing a large screen in
every room, a small one has been
set up on each student’s desk, for
two main reasons: (1) to make
the P.T.A. work harder to make
more money to pay for the stuff,
and (2) uh, well, can’t seem to
think of another real good one
right now. See what you can do.
Anyway, Diaphanous P. also an
nounced that a tea party would
be held each morning at ten
o’clock. This will be to liven up
the students and give them a break
in the monotony of watching the
screen. This, it is hoped, will elim
inate boredom.
The programs for the next few
weeks (until the station is hooked
up with a national network) will
be given by the students them
selves. A serial, beginning Mon
day, will be given by Senior Bob
Carrigan. The programs will be
as follows: Monday —- “You and
Your Teacher”; Tuesday — “Do
You Like Your Teacher”; Wednes
day—“Say You Don’t, Huh?”;
Thursday — “H o w To Kill a
Teacher”; Friday — “Have You
Ever Been to Alcatraz?”
Lightning Strikes
Radio Station
/unior High School Disappears;
Water Fountain Left Running
You’d better get ready for the onslaught of Junior High students
who are going to be filling the halls of Tee Pee Hi in a few days. This
stampede is caused by the dislocation and disappearance of our sister
school late yesterday evening. Mr. Dean Pruette, principal of the
school-that-was, cannot be contacted to give a full account of the catas
trophe; but an observant passer-by said he saw a stream of water
trickling down the front steps sometime in the afternoon. A house
wife across the street recalled a splashing noise about 6:30 p. m., but
thought it was her pressure-cooker.
Upon investigation early this morning, authorities found that the
only thmg not washed away was an outside fountain, still bubbling
over with joy—or something—probably water. It is suspected that a
lorgetiul student stopped for a drink and left the fountain running,
t.- news of the wandering school, please contact the
high school office. It is believed that Mr. Pruette and all the teachers
are still in the building.
Wright Wrecks
Drivers Training
Antomobile
Flash! She’s really done it this
time! Miss Ann Wright, prominent
rising senior, completely demo
lished the driver’s training car
yesterday afternoon when she
dropped her chewing gum and be
came entangled in the wheel while
trying to locate it.
This accident plunged the car to
its resting place among a group
of amazed inhabitants of Putt’s
Poolroom on 'South Main Street.
Sgt. Shields conferred with D. P.
Whittle, principal of the high
school, about the loss; and the
two of them decided that a new
car would have to be bought. Ar
riving at the decision, their choice
of models was a 1950 Cadillac
(Continued on Page Four)
Buddy Nance Sails For
Faraway Afghanistan
Buddy Nance goes to sea. Avast,
ahoy, and other seafarin’ words!
Would you look what we have
here ? Nance is exchanging hands
with Sir Van Boyles, captain of
the tempting vessel, “Splitz.” Their
purpose is to find the far off
island of Afghanistan, noted to the
extreme for its “Afghans” — in
other words—women.
It is rumored that Nance is
being court-martialed. Charges be
ing “pressed” against him are
(there’s only one) — pushing the
crow out of the “crow’s nest.”
What a punishment!
We tho’t we oughta warn ya
That all you read ain’t fact—
This paper is pure fiction
Prom cover unto back!
Flash! Last night during a ter
rible electrical storm, just before
the regular evening broadcast at
6:30, radio station WHPS v/as
struck by lightning and completely
demolished.
The screeches and cries of Chase
Lassiter, Wayne Mashburn, and
John Leslie Andrews were heard
for miles around as they watched
their “baby” go up in flames.
These three young radio hounds
narrowly escaped death. Fright
ened by the first crash of thunder,
they ran down the stairs and onto
the campus just as the flash split
the station asunder.
Onlookers of the tragedy re
port that a great flash illuminated
the sky. Just at that instant an
immense zigzag of lightning
crashed into the top of the school
building where the radio station
was, and proceeded to tear a huge
hole in the structure.
It is rumored that members of
the Parent-Teachers’ Association
who worked so diligently to raise
money in order that the school
might have a radio station, are
thinking seriously of committing
suicide.
Now the sole remains of the
dear ole radio station are a huge
pile of ashes; a hole in the build
ing; and the long, tear-stained
faces of Wayne, Chase, and John
Leslie as they mourn their pride
and joy.
BROWN QUARANTINED
Ralph “Buddy” Brown, sloppiest
dressed senior boy, was recently
checked on by Truant Officer Mc-
Quinn as to his absences at T. P.
Hi. It seems that Brown had been
quarantined for a week—the con
tagious disease—Spring fever!
Whittle Fails To Recog nize
Mystery Melody^ '^Rag Mop^
This morning at 4:00 a.m. Mr.
Dee Pea Whittle was called by the
famous “Cease the Melody” Pro
gram.
Dee Pea failed to guess the title
of the mystery tune after the
M. C. told him it was spelled
R-A-G M-O-P.
There were a number of school
celebrities present at the fatal
moment: Fireplug Kimble, Tina
Burnworth, and a certain Mr.
Itchy, who uncouthly made a loud
noise scratching himself the whole
time.
Because he failed to guess the
title of the song, Mr. M^ittb did
not receive the jackpot consisting
of a thousand “Cypress Splinter”
toothpicks; a baby dipper; a yacht,
guaranteed to float on salt water;
and a genuine “Old Drizzle” rain
maker. The consolation prize was
a bar of “Old Skin Remover” soap
guaranteed to remove (period).
Mr. Whittle graciously forced Mr.
Itchy to accept it as a token of his
appreciation.
Dee Pea Whittle has appeared
on other radio programs which
are just too numerous to mention.
Besides fifty-nine cents in cash,
he has won, at various times, a
T Model Ford, an A Model Ford,
a B Model Ford, and various other
models of Fords.
By the way, the mystery tune
was “Rag Mop.”