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Page Eight
THE UNIVERSITY STUDENT
February, 1929.
Coi»tEQe
By Teddy Wilson
—
c.t.^ivwpxr 'jT
' \'
some things you
ers.”
It’s a She
A frat brother offers the suggestion
that they call a sailing vessel “she,” not
because her rigging is so expensive, but
because she makes her best showing in the
wind.
—The Wink.
A.ssistanue Needed
“She has quite a repertoire, don’t you
think''”
“Yes, and that dre.s.s she’s got on doesn’t
1^ help it any.”
.My Sweetie
And I called her seven days because she
makes one weak.
Somebody Can Beat Him
•‘What do you do when you are kissed?”
“I yell.”
“Would you yell it I kissed you?”
“I can’t, I’s hoarse from last night.”
—Bean Pot.
“That girl has . magnetic personality.”
-" ■ ■■ “She ought to; e\ erything she has on
is charged.”
— Boo Doo.
Confused Terms
“Would you take a chance on the mod
ern liquor ? ”
“Sure, how muc'n is a chance?”
When a Baby Drinks
Young father (proudly): “Our one year-
old son is a staunch Smith booster.
Child’s mother; “Its, he’s really a little
wet. •
Indignant Parent (6 A. M): Young man,
what do you mean by bringing my daugh
ter in at this hour?”
Flaming youth: “Heck, I gotta be at
woi’k by 7.”
Fife Afler Death
/ “Do. you know every time .you take a
drink of liquor you lose a week, off your
. life?”
“My! I haye been dead for forty years!”
Demonstration
Cagey He: “Have you heard the one
about John and Greta Garbo kissing?”
Innocent she; “No ”
C. H.:; “Well, you .See, it is' this way.”
—Jack ■ 0’Lantern.
“I'm wealing my room mate's patent
leathers.”
“What for?? ■ ,
‘■The patent on mine expired.”
—Ranger.
.Modern Version
.Sunday ■ sfchool teacher; “Now, does any
little boy or girl know wt.at the ;^sraelites
were looking for when they went out in-
- to the wilderness?”
Little Willie; “TVs, ma’am;- -I- know.
Parking space.”
■ —Life.
ana
\ ^ Brain Teaser
English Professor: “Now a. pentameter
Y five feet; a hexameter six feet.
Y oice in the back row: “How many feet
Y* diameter?”
V® —Reserve Rhd Cat;
Knocking the Florist
^'How long''have' j'od been married?”
A«i!>-r.i,iiougK to learn that there’ are
I'. *■
can not say with flow-
-Denison Flamingo.
LEAGUE
The National, Urban League announces
its annual competitive examination for Fel.
lowships for colored stude'rits for study in
social work. At least thi-ee awards will be
made—possibly as many hs se'verf(''the num
ber the League is now riiai'ntaining. Ap
plicants musts be graduates of or candi
dates for sj:^;|unti in from ac^’eclited
leges. Successful candidates will receive
tuition and stipends ranging from S70 to,
$1.10 per riionth-v-Fne' total' value fo?'*tt'e '
year be’ng from about S90-0 to $1,200.
The schools to which the fellowships are
assigned are the New-York Sehuol of Social
Work, the Graduate School for Social Ad
ministration of _thp .Uniyg'^Jty^.Qf Chlfiago,
the Univbvsity of Pittsburgh and Ohio
State University.
.\plications ■ are filed ^before ‘‘Api'il l5th
on forms furpishe.d .,joy.-(they,U,rti'an' League
which may be seeu!;:e.d,. by, writing, to Eu
gene Kinekle Jones,, Executive Secretary,
17 Madison Avenue^ New York”Sity. The
examination will be held in May.
Dumb Dad
Dad: “Son, what is the meaning of this
60 on your card?”
Son: “Dad, that was the temperature of
the room.”
—College Humor.
A Marked Difference
A small town boy thinks that a track
meet is a railroad crossing, and a college
boy thinks that it is an athletic event.
—Columns.
We never criticise homely women for
kissing each other, because we feel that
it is their only chance of getting practice.
Q. C.; “The Baltimore girls are so so
phisticated that they dare not be seen
with a boy scout.
Ape: “That’s nothing; The Washnigton
girls are so sophisticated that they have
all of their petting parties in aeroplane.
They say that no man on earth is good
enough for them.”
Otis: “I’m getting bald-headed from
worrying.”
Ted: “Then why do you worry?”
Otis: “Because I’m getting bald-head
ed.”
Typically Collegiate
Student; “That’s e nice suit you have
on; who is. your taiior?”
Grad;'“That’s a nice suit you have on;
who is your room mate?”
Fats: ‘Ride with Ethyl and get the ben
efit of high compression. _
Ann: !‘Why do you say beauty and perv
sonality don’t go together?” ,,
Sue: “Because if you are pretty you
lose your personality.
She: “Do you believe in hereafter?”
He: . “Sure I do.”
, She; “Well, then, hereafter, please don’t
bother me.”
—Arizona Kitty Kat.
SALESMEN for “The University Student”
W. S. Brinkley, Room 4, Berry Hall,
J. A. Jones, Room 17, Smith Hall,
H. W. Givens, Room 25, Carter Hall,
Johnson C. Smith University.
Copies of “The University Student” are on sale
at
Brooklyn Drug Company
424 E. Second Street, Charlotte, N. C.
"mTriYa
BREAD AND CAKES
Made by
AMERICAN BAKERIES CO.
COMPLIMENTS OF
WASHBURN PRINTING COMPANY
18 W. 4th Street,
Charlotte, North Carolina
COMPLIMENTS
EZELL’S INC.
We solicit your patronage for Artist Supplies.
Complete lines of Paints, Oils, Varnishes,
Brushes, Glass, Etc.
EZELL’S INC.
515 E. Trade St. Phone: Hem. 5471.
WITHERS PAINT COMPANY
College at Fourth
TOCH BROTHERS Waterproofing Compounds
STANDARD VARNISH ( ().
Koverfloor Paints and Varnishes
CHARLES moody’COMMNY
WHOLESALE GROCERIES AND GRAIN
FEED STUFFS OF ALL KINDS
209 to 211 South College Street
Charlotte, N. C.
Telephones 141 and 142
DRINK GRADE-OLA
A REAL GRAPE DRINK
ALSO BUFFALO GINGER ALE
PEPSI COLA BOTTLING CO.
Phone: Hem. 1333