The NEW BERN
PUBLISHED WEEKLY
IN THE HEART OF
EASTERN NORTH
CAROLINA
5^ Per Copy
VOLUME
NEW BERN, N. C., FRIDAY, JULY 11, 1958
One of the delightful things
about home talent plays is the way
the unexpected and unintended
often bobs up.
Charles Styron, now a successful
Raleigh physician, has probably
long since forgotten one such mis
hap, but for us it lingers as a
vivid and ludicrous memory.
It happened at the Masonic The
atre, where the New Bern High
school class of ’30 was presenting
its junior play. As we recall, the
name of the exciting drama was
“Ghost Birds”, and it was a three-
act mystery.
At the high point of the evening
a group of mean old crooks were
plotting together, when they heard
somebody approaching. They turn
ed out the lights and flew the
coop.
When the stage, which was sup
posed to be a room, was illuminat
ed again, there was Charles, look
ing around in amazement.
Striking a pose not unlike John
Barrymore’s finest performance, he
exclaimed, “I coiild have sworn I
saw voices and heard a light!”
Needless to say, the audience
roared with laughter, putting
Charles in a state of embarrassed
bewilderment from which he never
fully recovered until the final cur
tain.
Simply by getting his verbs cross-
,ed, he had brought misery upon
himself and ruined what he had
hoped would be a night of glory.
Such is show business, but it’s
hard to be philosophical when you
are the goat of a slip of the tongue
like that.
Gerald Colvin, an old hand at
home talent productions, fared
somewhat better, thanks to his ex
perience and knack for quick think-
, .
His unhappy moment came when
he was playing the title role in
“Life With Father” or, come to
think of it, maybe it “The Man
Who Came To Dinner.”
Anyhow, the script called for
Gerald to pick up a piece of candy
from a nearby table, and munch
it while he proceeded with his
lines. It was a clever bit of stage
business, but the candy stuck in
his throat and made him speech-
l6SS.
Finally, with the help of a swig
of water, he got the stuff down,
and said, “Damn that candy!” The
character he was playing was a
rather profane cuss, so it fitted
right in and the audience never
knew the difference.
Our own darkest hour came when
(Continued on back page)
Could It Be
A Smile Upon
Dog's Kisser?
NUMBER 15
NO FEEDING PROBLEM—When you accuse a fel
low New Bernian of having bird brains, it's a
compliment rather than an insult. Unlike human
mothers who fret with a formula and scold their
brood for' not eating leafy vegetables, Mrs. Downy
Woodpecker, a local resident, has no finicky be
havior from her only child to worry about.
Desertod by her hush«n4>>iyiui..shru({ged
and is rearing her child to be appreciative and hive
perfect manners, instead of acting like a spoiled
Billy Benners, whose own young son prodded
him into bird study, waited several hours to snap
these remarkable photos for The Mirror. On the
left we see Mrs. Woodpecker arriving from Dame
Nature's super market with the nicest worm she
could find. In her hurry she forgot her save-a
stamps, but after all, it was way past Junior's
lunch hour.
Junior needed no coaxing. As you see in the
picture on the right, he responded^ pronto to Ma-
mi's cHirp and.^iut away his vitamins in a hurry.
Tfjdre'li bo-iso jovehile itellnquertey evident, as
Mrs. Woodpecker's little boy grows up. Seeking ad
vice from a child psychologist isn't for her. She got
better results by telling Junior a great big tomcat
would get him if he didn't watch out.
Noses Lead in
Capture of
Local Males
e
It may be true that the way to
a man’s heart is through his stom
ach, but local girls turn up their-
nose at such an old-fashioned no
tion.
Saturday Loses Its
Bathing Popularity
Winn Hughes at Hawk Radio &
Appliance Co., would sure like to
know who stole the RCA dog from
in front of his store two weeks ago.
It cost him $28 to acquire the dis
play last February. When he got it
he had no need for the old dog
that had become pretty well batter
ed during years of faithful service.
Winn didn’t have the heart to
throw the first dog away, so he
stored it. A lover of real life dogs,
and an enthusiastic pet owner, he
had actually become attached to
the make-believe pooch.
Now, with the new dog gone but
not forgotten, he has hauled the
old display out and placed it in
front of his establishment. Maybe
it’s just imagination, but we
thought-we detected a smirk on the
face of the original dog as we
p^sed by the other day.
After all, getting a new lease on
life, even if you’re only a make-be
lieve dog, is something to grin
, about.
If you’ve got a sneaking suspic
ion that Saturday night baths have
gone out of style in New Bern,
you’re on the right- track.
Official figures, furnished The
Mirror by the town’s Superintend
ent of Public Utilities, Bill Bart-
ling, indicate that water consump
tion on the traditional bath night is
now no more and in some cases
less than the amount of aqua ex
tracted from local faucets on other
nights of the week.
There was a day in the past of
course when scrubbing up all over
was a weekend affair, not only for
plain run-of-the-mill folks but for
civic leaders as well.
Many a big wheel around the
village, if he spoke truthfully,
would have to admit that baths did
not become a daily occurrence
with him until this modern era of
well-heated homes and unlimited
hot water.
Climbing into a bath tub a gene
ration ago was a necessary ordeal,
rather than a casual interlude of
relaxing enjoyment. Likely as not
the bath room, on the second floor
of a rambling frame dwelling full
of drafts, was the coldest spot in
the house.
That is, it was cold in winter.
In weather like this, you were
lucky if you didn’t suffocate. What
ever the season, taking the plunge
was a matter of dread not relish.
Except for the fact that having
a scrubbed exterior put one in
better shape for church-going the
next morning, a Saturday night
bath couldn’t have been more in
convenient.
Any other night in the week
would have been better, seeing as
how the 40-hour week hadn’t been
heard of, and New Bernians who
worked in stores were lucky if they
got home before midnight.
Straggling customers, who didn’t
shop for their groceries until thSy
ran out of gossip on downtown
corners, robbed many a merchant
of his needed sleep. No respectable
merchant or clerk was ever too
sleepy to get that Saturday night
bath, however.
Why some of them didn’t topple
o^Gv from exhaustion and drown is
one of life’s mysteries. Maybe
there wasn’t enough hot water
available to really go under, after
other members of the family had
taken their turn earlier in the
night.
Monday is New Bern’s biggest
day for water consumption now,
principally because folks who no
longer observe the ritual of Satur
day night baths still cling faithful
ly to the ritual of Monday morn
ing as their wash day.
If it’s a pretty Monday, thous
ands of extra gallons flow through
the town’s water mains shortly aft
er the sun comes peeping out of
the east. Day in and day out. New
Bernians use an average of IV2
million gallons during a 24-hour
period, and frequently it ranges to
1% million gallons.
Heaviest -drain of the year is
during dry spells in summer, when
villagers are doing their utmost to
saturate lawns and gardens. For
example, on a single day last sum
mer 2,100,000 gallons were piped
out.
New Bern’s water tank holds on
ly 500,000 gallons, but don’t get
uneasy over that. If necessary, SVz
million gallons daily can be pumped
for the town’s consumption with
present equipment.
Mosquitoes, Gnats?
It Could Be Worse!
Whatever you do, don’t squawk
if a few gnats and mosquitoes tend
to spoil your summer relaxation.
Think how much worse it would
be if New Bern was infested with
all of the 85,000 kinds of insects
common to the United States.
Especially since 10,000 kinds are
generally harmful to man.
Now that you’ve learned this
from the pages of The Mirror,
aren’t you sorry you cussed that
one little biddy mosquito that got
into your bedroom last night?
'Purple People' Platter Pretty Popular
In case you’ve been wondering,
the Purple'People Eater is still a
best-selling platter at New Bern
record counters.
For a quickie that will fade as
sudenly as a rainbow, once it starts
downhill, the thing is proving rath
er durable.
Incidqntally, Pat Boone in the
popular field is making cash regis
ters ring hereabouts, while such
standbys as Perry Como and
Frank Sinatra are sticking around
quite well.
When it comes to spiritual type
recordings, the top vocalist as far
as New Bern is concerned is Me-
halia Jackson. And, we might add,
religious records remain good sel
lers, rock ‘n’ roll notwithstanding.
Since the younger set buys most
of the records, it is gratifying to
note that so-called finer music has
its appeal too. Right now there is
a leaning towards the scores of
shows like “My Fair Lady” and
‘"The King and I.”
While turning up their own
noses, they make a frontal attack
on the nose that belongs to the ob
ject of their affections. Results
are destructive, and without realiz
ing it most New Bern males literal
ly sniff themselves into marriage.
What else could you expect, con
sidering the cleverly contrived per
fumes enjoying a brisk sale here?
If the names on those labels mean
anything, it’s a wonder the town
isn’t filled to overflowing with
bigamists, or a miserable lot of
wishful thinkers.
At a single cosmetic counter. The
Mirror found an array of sweet
stuff that included such intriguing
titles as My Sin, Escapade, Devas
tating, Intimate, Shocking, Pretext,
Scandal, Indescreet, Surrender,
Danger, My Alibi, and of all things,
Adam’s Rib.
For sheer speed in capturing an
unsuspecting male, we can’t imag
ine anything faster than Jet, and if
that doesn’t work a gal can always
fall back on Miracle. In the event
he stills acts horsey about capitu
lating, Blue Grass should do the
trick.
White Flame is a hot seller here
abouts, while Tigress comes in
handy for taming a wolf and trans
forming him into the sort of mouse
who ends up doing the dishes, or
maybe even the, family washing.
Although Snuff doesn’t sound
very romantic as the name of a
perfume, it isn’t to be sneezed at,
and those who have missed the
boat for that slow trip t^o China,
can settle for Shanghai.
Romance flowers fairly often too
under the spell of Blue Carnation,
Red Lilac, White Magnolia, Apple
Blossom and Desert Flower. Also
available if the situation calls for
it, are Bright Secret, Side GlMce,
Fourth Dimension, Roman Holiday,
Wind Song, Heaven Scent, Beloved,
Dutchess of York, Midnight, Moon
light Mist, Bond Street and My
Love.
If a young lady is just fiddlinjt
around until the real thing comes
(Continued on back page)