“Kick yourself more and you’ll
kick others less.” That isn’t the
epitaph you’ll find on Tom Hay
wood’s tombstone, but they are
words by which he’ll best be re
Inventor of an ingenius self-kick'
ing machine that attracted resolute
customers from every state in the
Union, he became nationally fam
ous on radio networks, and inter
nationally so through newspaper
stories that circled the globe.
The whole thing started as a
joke. Tom got to thinking about
the many times folks said “I’d like
to kick myself!” Obviously, this
was a difficult thing to do, since
Nature constructed human anatomy
in such a way that not even an
acrobat can kick himself satisfac
torily in the area best adapted to
The Croatan commissioner de
signed a contraption to do the
trick. He wasn’t much of a carpen
ter, so he got his neighbor, Wil
bur Herring, who was handy with
tools, to build it for him and set
it up at Tom’s service station
on Highway 70 east of New Bern.
Once it was put into operation,
it didn’t remain a joke very long.
Before, sundown on the first day,
self-kickers were streaming to the
scene. Most of the provoked mort
als who used it took the punish
ment in dead earnest.
Of course, as always, a goodly
number of folks stepped up to the
platform as a prank, to be photo
graphed; They were careful to turn
the boot-swinging crank quite
gently. Those who meant business
didn't spare themselves.
Did it hurt? Of course it hurt,
but like Tom said, “Every kick in
the pants may be a boost up the
ladder of fame and fortune, and
the harder the kick, the higher the
boost.” - •
Tom never could figure but why
a majority of the self-kickers were
women. “Lots of them are good
lookers,” he once *told us, and
knowing that he shared our appre
ciation of feminine pulchritude we
took his appraisal at face value.
“I well remember a ‘come up
and see me sometime’ ’ sort of
blonde,”' he added. “She came up
in an expensive limousine, with a
dead-pan chauffeur. She had a Jot
of diamonds on. She bent over in
the proper position, and turned the
crank with a vigor that would have
done credit to a blacksmith.”
According to Haywood, she g£(ve
herself 13 swift kicks on her pos
terior, marched back to the limou
sine and rode off without uttering
“I’d given plenty to know what
she had done,” Tom sighed, “and
why she thought it deserved 13
kicks—no more gnd no less.”
First installed back in July 1937,
the self-kicking machine has never
gone out of style. Human nature
being what it is, the device never
will. Thousands of disgruntled, re
gretful or remorseful Americans
have “enjoyed” the democrati9/sat
isfaction of kicking themselves for
something they did or • didn’t do.
Set after set of No. 11 shoes
have been worn out from the many
emphatic dust-offs. In fact, the
strain was so great that sturdy
steel rqds were used to replace the
original light bicycle tubing ^that
just couldn’t take it.
A roof was built over the ma
chine, for the benefit of penitent
pilgrims who didn’t want to be dis
appointed bn account of rain, sleet
or maybe snow. Although some of
the kickers came from Germany,
Ireland and other foreign countries,
Tom was kept busy with a mail
order service, furnishing kicks by
proxy. In such instances, Haywood
served as whipping boy, and then
dropped a note wishing the far
away stranger success from the
boot ho absorbed himself.
The NEW BERN
IN THE HEART OF
Si Per Copy
NEW BERN, N. C„ FRIDAY, AUGUST 1, 1958
HAPPY VISITORS—Mary Elizabeth Schulteis of Washington, D. C.,
wouldn't think of leaving Mikey at home when she comes to New
Bern for a pleasant stay with her grandnjother, Mrs. Lonie Duffy,
at the historic William. Gaston house on Craven street.
' In these photos, snapped for The Mirror by Wray's Studio,
the very pretty 13-year-old shows off her pet so that you readers
can see what a smart dog he really is.
.Mikey is exceptional, in everything but origin. Jumping through
a hoop formed by the arms of his e^ner is a routine trick for him.
Notice the nonchalant, effortless expression he wears as he does
Climbing a ladder is one of his maiiy accomplishments. Mikey,
proud of this feat, smirks iike the ham that he is as he struts
his stuff in the hot July weather that New Berir sweltered under
When Mary Elizabeth tells her nondescript mut to say his
prayers, he bows his head between his paws and remains motion
less until she says, "Amen."
No wonder he has won cups repeatedly in competition spon
sored in Washington by the Tail Waggers Club, a national organiza
tion, and other contests too.
There's a heart warming story back of Mikey's presence in
the Schulteis household. Mary Elizateth, who loves all animals, pick
ed him up at a dog pound, where he was destined to be exterminated
as an unwantedf stray.
Mary Elizabeth's rehabilitation of cast-off animals isn't re
stricted to dogs like Mikey. She has had equal success with her
Pal was a miserable looking plug that a glue factory would
have spurned when the Vivacious young lady talked her family into
Kindness gave Pai respectability. Mary Elizabeth insisted on
entering him in a horse show, and talked her father artd her brother
Albert into acting as flunkies for the big occasion.
It was a new experience for the girl and her steed. The only
rank amateurs in the show, they walked off with first place in the
children's division and second place in the women's division.
New Bern has had many a distinguished visitor in the • past,
including several presidents. None of them, as far as we are con
cerned, was half so remarkable as Mary Elizabeth Schulteis, a
youngster who has demonstrated that love and faith can bring about
a miracle for the lowliest of the low.
HERE IN NEW BERN
Smokers Disregard Warnings
At least half of New Bern’s
cigarette smokers have shrugged
off the cancer scare, and are pas
sing up filters in favor of con
ventional, non-protected fags.
Even more significant is the
steadily increasing sale of all
smokes here. New Bernians are
'puffing awfly as never before, and
none of the many blasts aimed at
the habit by scientists and medical
experts seems to have had a telling
effect on purchases.
As a matter of fact. The Mirror’s
survey reveals the greatest step-up
in smoking among those persons of
better than average mentality, who
read the periodicals that have em-
Many Cities H^ve
Male Garden Clubs
Why not have a New Bern Gar
den Club For Men? You’ll find
such groups in • the State’s larger
cities, and some of the smaller
No longer is the male who goes
into rapture over roses consider
ed a sissy, and in New Bern as
elsewhere some of the better
floral projects are those tended by
Sooner or later, masculine
flower fanciers here are going to
organize. When they do, it will.be
another progressive shop toward
beautification of the village.
phasjzed the high rate of malig-'
nancy said to occur from smoking.
Women, of course, make up a very
large percentage of the smokers in
New Bern, and are more inclined
to indulge to excess. They, like the
male of the species, are either un
impressed by the scare, or regard
the alleged hazards as a calculated
Local doctors, along with fellow
New Bernians, still smoke, and that
New Bern and Craven Pupils
Seeing More and More Films
Textbooks haven’t been discard
ed in New Bern and Craven coun
ty schools yet, but don’t-be sur
prised if it eventually happens.
Films, complete with sound, are
replacing the printed page to an
increasing extent, and there’s no
denying that the trend has far
more good points than bad.
Actually, movies and slides have
been in use here for some time,
but further strides in visual-audio
education are' in prospect for the
coming school year.
Already boasting a film library
for all twelve grades, covering
social studies, health, science and
mathematics, the county board of
education has now invested $16,-
500 in the complete series of films
on high school physics that the
Encyclopedia Brittanica has pro
According to reports, only two
of the state’s largest cities, Char
lotte and Greensboro, are in the
same boat in Craven in having
the coveted series available for
Visit any school in our city and
county, and you’ll find projectors,
screens and movies available. In
fact, one of the big jobs that fac
ed school officials during the off
season was readying this equip
ment for further use a few weeks
Film strips, or stilj slides, sup
plement movies in' the lower
grades and have been invaluable.
On the high school level students
show little enthusiasm for the
stills, but welcome the sound films
and make the most of the instruc
tion and enlightenment offered.
Literally hundreds of films are
readily available in our city and
county schools. Subjects covered
range from atomic research and
parliamentary procedure in action
to Hoppy, the Bunny.
Projections aren’t limited to mo
vies and film strips. A teacher has
(Continued on back page)
in itself is a heartening thing to
the average layman. He figures,
rightly or wrongly, that the risk
can’t be as great as pictured if
competent and well informed phy
sicians are still taking their cigar
ettes in stride.
So heavy is the demand here
that one wholesaler told us he
could sell all the fags he could lay
his hands on. “We just can’t get
enough,” he said. Other items on
his shelves show a tapering off in
certain seasons, or when money is
tight, but apparently most folks
Would rather go hungry than do
without their full supply o£
7th Annual Dairy
New Bern’s seventh annual edi
tion of the Coastal Carolina Junior
Dairy Show will be held on Sdpt.
Any youngster under 21 in
Craven, Carteret, Jones, Onslow,
Pamlico and Beaufort counties is
eligible to have entries in the com
petition, whether he or she is a
member of a 4-H or FFA club.
Past events at the Show Bam
here have included Jerseys, Guern
seys, Holsteins and a rew Ayr-
shires. Jerseys and Holsteins
dominated the scene, reflecting the
continuing popularity of these
breeds in the coastal area.