Newspapers / The New Bern Mirror … / April 12, 1968, edition 1 / Page 1
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Nrm Stnt4tr«itftt (Himnlg Pultlit Sibrirg The NEW BERN FUBLI8HID WBBKLY IN THI HIART OP IA8TBRN NORTH CAROLINA Bern, jjC 28560 VOLUME 11 NEW BERN, N. C., FRIDAY, APRIL 12, 1968 NUMBER 3 No one can say that the citi zens of New Bern and Craven County aren’t putting up a brave front. Who would think this is just about the most poverty stricken place In America? In the mfdst of such famine, we’ll steer clear of serious talk for the moment, and try to bring a sm.'le to your drawn and ema ciated countenance. Perhaps some alleged humor will ease your mlss-neal cramps. Of course. If you’re one of the few eating regularly and suffer ing from Indigestion, It is nice to know that you can get tem porary relief from this dis tressing stomach trouble by kicking the cat or whipping the children. And here’s some additional advice that may come In handy. If you want a woman to read your letter, send it to her hus band and mark "Personal” on the envelope. Speaking of hus bands and letters, a well-reg ulated husband is one who can’t pass a m.ailbox without feeling in his pockets. All women are alike, except some are more alike than others. For example, when a woman goes up in the air she usually lands on her husband. And haven’t you noticed that every woman likes a bargain, but dislikes being told that she’s we.arlng one. Sometliiiig else, when a man has a birthday he wants to take a day off. When a woman has a birthday she wants to take a year (or maybe several) off, and u.sually does. It’s too late to warn you males who are already married, but If you’re singlekeeplnmind that it’s dangerous to marry a woman who looks good in black. And remember this, the only way to fight a woman Is to grab your hat and run. Haven’t you noticed that noth ing annoys a woman like having her friends drop in unexpect edly tq find the house looking as It usually does? And, sad to relate, many a m.an keeps his nose to the grindstone so that his wife can turn hers up at the neighbors. And another thing, a father Is afraid all young men want to marry his daughter. A mother is afraid they don’t. Incidentally, you learn sooner or later in marriage that a man is as old as he feels before breakfast and a woman is as old as she looks before breakfast. Truthfully, or as a member of New Bern’s most exclusive club should we say half truth fully, all husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart. The trouble Is not what m.an de- sended from. but what he de scends to. Isn’t it the gospel that a wo man never knows what kind of dress she doesn’t wantuntilshe buys it? What she does know, of course, is that the best com bination for a woman Is an old head (Inside that is), a young heart, and a baby face. There’s nothing more exas perating than a wife who can cook and won’t, except a wife who can’t cook and will. Hon estly, married life is a nice life for a man to lead if Ms wife would only let Mm do a little leading. Of course, if you’re cynical (Continued on page 8) Still the Biggest News Story el oil time ! ii 1/ 4^ ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ A A
The New Bern Mirror (New Bern, N.C.)
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April 12, 1968, edition 1
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