V
Pagt 2, WMt Cravtn Hlghllghtt, April 21,1983
Food For Thought In The Dietary Wilderness
By JONATHAN PHILLIPS
Mega-Columnist
When I think back to Eastern North Carolina
in general and Vanceboro in particular, which is
often, one of the things I think about is some of
the best eating—heck, not some of the best, but
the best, period—I’ve ever had the privilege of
dribbling into my beard.
My mouth literally waters when I think of tons
of good down-home cooking I ingested, when
some of Vance boro's ladies would worry about
my appetite even as I worried about whether it
would take a forklift to get me away from the
table.
Local cooks fed me well. Let’s face it, if a man
ain’t happy after helping demolish a table set by
cooks like, say, Beverly Bryan or Morton
Witherington, then there just ain’t no making
him happy.
Despite eating, observing, and, when
absolutely necessary, helping to prepare good
Carolina cooking my whole life, there are subtle
skills I could never master.
No matter which brand of non-soak-through,
television-touted oil or shortening I used, for
example, my fried chicken invariably came out
greasy as a Philadelphia cheesesteak.
Not only must Craven cooks cope with these
subtle skills, but they concoct incredibly
sophisticated and complex dishes, also. I’ve had a
baked shad dish or a banana split cake out of
Vanceboro, for example, that I’d never hesitate to
set beside the greatest chefs of Europe, except
that I’d rather eat it myself than show it to those
bozos.
I’ve discussed before my culinary problems in
New Jersey. Don’t get me wrong—I love a good
pastrami or prosciutine as much as the next man,
and have ever gulped down a number of greasy
Philadelphia cheesesteaks.
But good home cooking is hard to come by, and
in general I know a black Labrador Retriever
that is better fed than I.
I heard a rumor once that there was in North
Brunswick, N.J. a place called Southern
Kitchens that was run by a black family that had
migrated from South Carolina and served
southern food.
It was there, all right, but it was an Irish family
from Jersey City and the entire menu consisted of
submarine sandwiches and fried chicken that
was greasy as a Philadelphia cheesesteak.
* * * * *
Not quite everybody up here is a criminal,
lunatic, or Irishman from Jersey City.
Occasionally some of my friends and associates
take pity on a poor bachelor with no kitchen who
lives off burgers and pizza.
But even when I cop free meals off these kind
folks I don’t get home cooking, N.C. style.
It seems that I have fallen in with a crowd of
budding gourmets who collect cookbooks, scour
specailty stores for offbeat items, and who take
pride in spending a lot of time preparing dishes
that are usually tasty but best described as
bizarre, at least to the tastes of a wild-eyed
southern boy.
I deeply appreciate and enjoy these things,
even though I sometimes suspect that I may be
devouring endangered species or the products of
rituals devised by unclad savages in the
unexplored jungles of the Amazon basin.
It would be great to take a break from these
expeditions into uncharted culinary terrain with
a barbecued pork chop and a pot of butterbeans.
«
I am not totally helpless in the kitchen, when I
have one, and have a few specialties that, if not up
to the standards of the Homecoming picnic at
Asbury Methodist Church, at least do not leave
you wretching in the back yard.
Still, you are a big time cook in my book if you
don’t have to read the directions on the back of the
box or are capable of inventing your own dishes.
Come the summer, I should once again have a
kitchen, and not only that but a wife to staff it.
Sounds good, huh?
Not quite. She doesn’t like barbecue, fish, or
collard greens, and her specialty is pizza. Not
only that, but she actually insists that I will be
required to handle at least half the cooking.
Oh, well. I was getting too fat anyway.
How many times a day do you stop and ask yourself WHY?
WALTER C.
LINDLEY
Why—were there 13 original colonies in
America when 12 or 14 would have been a much
better number?
Why—do the makers of Pepsodent run television
commercials in Japan that say, “You'll wonder
where the yellow went when you brush your teeth
with Pepsodent’’?
Why—did R. J. Reynolds try to market
America's top selling menthol cigarette Salem in
France where salem (as they pronounce the word
means “salty and dirty”?
Why—did Ford Motor Company spend
$250,000 with an advertising agency for a name
search for a new car? The agency came back with
“Mustang”, “Cougar”, “Bobcat”, “Lynx”, and a
host of others. Ford threw them all away and
named the car EDSEL.
Why—do the postal rates keep increasing
when the world is getting smaller all the time?
Why—did the Detroit Auto Manufacturers
keep making American cars bigger while
Mercedes Benz, Volkswagen, Datsun,and the
rest took over the lead in sales?
Why—does it always seem to rain on your day
off?
Why —is it sunny and bright when you have to
work?
Why—does the guy with the big bag of popcorn
who chews with his mouth open always sit behind
you in the movie theatre?
Why—did I write this column?
Why—did you read it?
“I dunno.”
(Mr. Lindley is the owner and operator of
Howard House, 207 Pollock Street, New Bern,
By Candace Lieberman
North American Precis Syndicate
Retailers throughout the
nation have found news
paper advertising the best
way to promote their
products and services. Yet
some aren’t aware of these
facts about advertising.
• Plain talk is better
than fancy words in news
paper adver
tising. Write
ads the way
you talk, in
short, punchy
phrases.
o A little col
or can make
an ad stand out on a page
in a spectacular manner. In
fact, adding one color to a
black and white ad can
increase readership 60 per
cent or more.
Lieberman
Thomas
Report
SEN. JOSEPH E.
THOMAS
There is a controversy brewing in Raleigh over
the idea of a public lottery to help raise future
state revenues. Because of the attention the
lottery is likely to receive in the near future, both
sides of the issue deserve public discussion. Last
week, at a public hearing before the N.C. Senate
Rules Committee, the first,of what I hope will be
many public discussions on the lottery was held.
There seem to be strong arguments on both
sides of initiating a state-run lottery to raise
money for public programs.
According to the pending legislation, the
lottery would be administered by a five-member
commission appointed by the governor.
Estimates are that usuable yearly income from
the lottery would amount to $80 to $100 million.
Currently, 17 states plus Washington, D.C.,
sponsor regular public lotteries. While none have
ever lost any money for the sponsoring state, at
least three have been temporarily suspended for
mismanagement.
Testimony at the hearing revealed that the
first state lottery in modern times was voted in by
the people of New Hampshire in 1964 by a 3 to 1
margin. But Dr. Lennox Baker of Durham, a
proponent of the lottery, testified that 107
lotteries were held in North Carolina during the
years between 1769 and 1834, in order to raise
money to build such things as schools and
factories.
Perhaps the most convincing argument for the
lottery is the fact that it might provide necessary
spending revenues for the state through a
voluntary “taxing” method. Testimony at the
hearing suggested that a majority of people
(according to recent polls) in North Carolina
probably prefer a lottery over an income tax
increase.
That argument is countered by the opponents
question of, when more revenues are indeed
needed, then shouldn’t the additional burden be
shared among all taxpayers, across-the-board?
Opponents in the hearing suggested that the poor
Continued on Page 12
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