Page 2, West Craven Highights, May 24, 1984
Reading The Signs
By JONATHAN PHILLIPS
My adventures along the backroads and byways of the east
coast over the past several years have been in connection with a
number of missions: beach surveying, gathering marsh mud
samples, doing news stories, looking for column material, and
simply carrying out all manner of business and pleasure.
No matter what the primary mission of these travels by train,
plane, foot, boat, canoe, and Galaxy 500, there has always been a
secondary mission: To obtain a representative sample of the
restaurants, bars, grills, taverns, pool halls and such between
North Jersey and South Georgia.
I foresee this task lasting a lifetime, but I’m ready to share
some preliminary results concerning the crude, hand-lettered
signs that deck the halls of such establishments.
* * * *
First and foremost, places that have crude, hand-lettered signs
are generally superior to those that don’t, even if only because
any place that doesn’t is probably a McDonald’s or a Pizza Hut or
in a shopping mall.
This is true even if the sign in question says something
excruciatingly mundane like “No Checks Accepted” or “Pork
Chop Sandwich, 75 cents.” At least in the former case you can
deduce that people have occasionally felt comfortable enough
there to try to pass checks (would you try to pass one at Burger
King or Chic-Fil-A) and in the latter that they run specials on
pork chop sandwiches.
Often the signs provide an even better clue to what the place is
like and what kind of behavior is expected. “Please wait for a sigh
of recognition before bellowing your order like a Holstein bull,”
read the sign at one lunch counter. Kind of lets you know that it’s
alright to bellow out your order, but that you should allow a
decent interval before doing it.
Small town and backwoods dives offer both the best and worst
that civilization has produced. Careful interpretation of the
hand-lettered signs offers subtle clues about the type of place you
step into.
'They needn’t be obvious, like the “Not Responsible for Injuries
Suffered in Fights With Other Patrons” that I saw in one
northeastern North Carolina beer joint. Not much subtlety
there, but some messages sometimes take a little thought to
properly interpret them.
On the surface, for example, the “Do Not Spit On Floor. Please
Use Spittoons” sign in the Wythe Pool Room, Wytheville,
Virginia, may seem to indicate a concern for health, cleanliness,
decorum and so forth and to indicate a family-style game room.
When you get to thinking about it, however, and looking at the
16 sand-filled spittoons lining the walls, you realize that such a
sign would not be necessary if the Wythe Pool Room did not
attract the sort of individual who might be prone to expectorate
on the floor if not reminded otherwise.
Signs provide other types of helpful hints. At the Mecca Pool
Hall and Grill in Washington, N.C. (still holding on, by the way,
to the number one spot in my favorite pool halls of all time list)
there is a sign reading: “No Masse or Jump Shots Allowed.”
With the kind of guys I shoot pool with, you’d be hard-pressed
to get a decent definition of “masse shot,” and jump shots are
generally taken with basket, not billiard, balls. We don’t even
know what those shots are, so there is little worry that we’ll be
trying to execute them.
This kind of sign lets you know that the pool hall is frequented
by folks who might want to try those shots, and anybody in that
category is certainly capable of winning the rent money and the
car keys from somebody who plays like I do.
The message: go play eight-ball or cut-throat on the back table
and leave the front table to the guys who would make masse and
jump shots if they were allowed.
Some signs I haven’t quite figured out yet. The Bait Box Grill
in Hancock’s Harbor, N.J., has one reading: “We Take the Wall
Street Journal For Our Republican Customers. Democrats May
Only Peek.”
I’m not sure exactly what to make of that, though their
companion sign, “If We Act Like We Appreciate Your Business
It’s Only Because We Need the Money,” simply reflects the
casual atmosphere and kidding between patrons and staff that
occurs there.
Other signs are almost elegant in their simplicity. “No
Tipping,” at the Carolina Grill in Greenville, is my favorite for
obvious reasons.
The bottom line is that when looking for a bite to eat, a cold
brew, or a game of eight-ball in a strange town, first find a joint
with crude, hand-lettered signs.
Then study the signs to draw any inferences you can about
what you’ve gotten yourself into. Then, just enjoy yourself. But
don’t spit on the floor, no matter what the signs say. It just ain’t
polite.
WCHS Graduates 1984
By LELA BARROW
What is Education? My idea of education is to use to the best
understanding the principles you have learned in Elementary
and High School. Get new ideas and put them to work
advantageously. Many of us are going to do great things
tomorrow. But tomorrow may be too late. The demand life makes
on all of us is to be ready at all times. Live neither in the past nor
in the future, but in the present. The surest way not to fail is to
determine to succeed - Use your time advantageously - Do not
squander your time in idleness.
Perfect freedom is for the man who lives by his own work, and
in that work does what he wants to do . Thy actions alone
determine thy worth. Idleness brings despair. All good work is
done without hesitation, without difficulty, without boasting -
bringing happiness.
Build character: make it four-sided, or square, with a spiritual
side, a moral side, a mental side and a physical side. On the
spiritual side square it with Jesus Christ: on the moral side let the
standard be the life set by Christ “do unto others. . .” on the
mental side make your ambitions high; on the physical side strive
to make the body clean throughly as well as thoroughly. Whether
you have little ability or great ability, one talent or ten talents is
not a great importance. What you do with what you have is what
counts. You can’t all be Valedictorians, only one can get that
honor. Study and strive to use the gift God has given you. Don’t
expect your life to be an easy one all the way. There will be
problems, decisions to make, issues to be faced, you have no
answer. “In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.”
Stop, think, meditate the answer will come to you - maybe in a
mysterious way.
Before you receive your diploma, think back to when you were
ten or twelve years old. Remember some of the foolish things you
did, and how you felt about school and education—get a big
laugh, skipping school to go fishing.
This is a true story of Virginia Cary Hudson when she was ten
in 1904. Her teacher had saved pages of things she had written
and clippings of her sayings. This her idea of education:
Education is what you learn from books - nobody knows what you
know but your teacher. What good will books do me? They will
give you satisfaction -1 had rather have fun than satisfaction.
P.S. Mrs. Dixon, if your conscience won’t let you give me an A,
how about a B? If that woman keeps on giving me a zero on
deportment I will simply have to see the Bishop. She went to the
library to learn of the books - they were dusty and old. Books
some people like to read, some people do not like to read and some
they never read. Mrs. Simons sits in the middle of the library and
George Washington hangs on the wall. The sign says silence but
Mrs. Simons talks all the time. This is her idea of education - wish
I could give you her idea of religion.
And now may God grant us all a good night’s rest and not let
the fire whistle blow. Amen. Halleluiah and so be it as it may.
the class! Fieds
244-0780
To The Edit^
Visitors
Bernice Lancaster and
Emma Kate Meade were our
guests fpr the Mother’s Day
weekend. They were enroute to
Vanceboro from Port Char
lotte, Florida for the summer.
We visited the state historic
site of Marjorie Kinnon
Rawling’s home. She was the
Pulitzer prize winner for her
book, “The Yearling”, and
about whom a movie “Cross
Creek” has been made. The
movie is receiving very good
reviews, and is made
Ocala, along the Silver
and Orange Lake. After our
visit to the home, we enjoyed a
delicious meal at the famous
restaurant, “The Yearling” at
Cross Creek, FL.
It was a real joy for us to have
these friends with us for the
church service, the special
trip, and to have them in our
home for Mother’s Day.
Minnie and I look forward to
our summer visit to Vance
boro, N.C. about July 18.
Henry F. Speight, D. Min.
First Christian Church
Ocala, Florida
THE
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