PAGE 2 — WEST CRAVEN HIGHLIGHTS — OCTOBER 12, 1989
AIL
INDS
by; Ball 1. Bobarson i
Nature has given us one tongue but two cars, for a reason ... that
we may hear from others twice as much as we speak. The greatest
human need is to be listened to. Unfortunately, this rarely happens.
We’re all familiar with those whose eyes glaze over and continuously
look away while we try to talk to them, yet when they talk to us, we
can't get a word in edgeways. This person is called a “bore.” A bore is
a someone who talks when you wish him to listen. There are others
who are equally as dangerous. One is the ADVICE GIVER. We know.
what they do. Another is the INTERRUPTER. They tell you what
you are trying to say. CROSS EXAMINERS want to argue with ev-
eiything and PARAPHRASERS repeat everything back to you.
A radio poll phoned more than 15,000 men in various parts of the
country to ask: “Who are you listening to at the moment?” Ninety
percent of them answered, “my wife.” Well, I don’t believe it. Spouses
spend less time listening to one another than any other part of the
population.
My husband has tuned me out so much that I now write notes for
him when I have something to say. I’ve tested him. When I showed
him a new dress, bis glazed expression and mechanical, “very nice
honey,” hinted that he had again retreated into his own thoughts.
When I asked, “and on my way home I stopped to put $1,000 down on
a polo pony for the barnyard,” he also responded with, “very nice
honey.”
But, I plead guilty to all the same shortcomings. When he begins
to explain the workings of the “guts” of his tobacco barn and of color-
ingheats and electrical wizardiy, I put my brain on automatic pilot
and try to look at least partially intelligent and interested. While I
don’t wish to offend him, neither do I want to clog up my brain with
such useless information.
Sometimes we can deeply regret not listening. Such as a friend
who has told me countless times how she longs to return to the days
when her husband begged her to come sit out on the screened-in
porch after supper with him. Instead, she always insisted on leaving
the kitchen pristine clean, and took the time to wash up every dish
and wipe off every counter. By the time she finally got to be porch, it
was too dark to watch the geese on the pond or listen to a report of
her husband’s day, for he had grown weary of waiting and was ab
sorbed in the television instead.
As parents, it’s hard to make yourself listen when toddlers chatter
nonstop. Too often, it’s easier to concentrate on the physical needs of
a child than the emotional ones. But take note that it’s extremely
dangerous to assume that any of our loved ones know we love them.
Never assume anything. Ifyou can’t say it, show it. And the best way
to show it is to listen.
In this busy time, most all of us are guilty of not really listening, of
never “hearing” what others are saying to us. True communication
requires that wedevelop theart of listening, whether it’slisteningto
family, friends, or someone on the street.
The biggest compliment I overheard being given to a recently de
parted friend was that “she always listened.” As I looked upon her
face for the last time, I too, thought those same words. She truly DID
listen. That wonderful trait was what set her apart from all the
other people I knew. She never interrupted or gave advice. Cross ex
amination was not her style, and repeating what you had just said
was entirely unheard of in her case. What was so remarkable about
this woman was that she truly did care and wanted to help her
friends. I can’t think of a better tribute to be said about her or to be
etched in her stone than.. .“She listened.” I only wish I could say it on
behalf of a few more people. But most of all. I’d like for someone to
say those words about me one day.
So, why don’t we all learn to cultivate the fine art of responsive at
tention. Let’s open our ears to receive in a manner that will enable
us to hear from others twice as much as we speak. Beginning is as
simple as asking yourself...“do I REALLY listen?"
Extension Extras
Most ‘New’ Foods Are
Really Convenience Foods
By Joan Gosper
N.C.Statc Univci'sily
Over 9,000 new food products
were introduced in 1988, says
Rachel Kinlaw, extension foods and
nutrition specialist at North
Cai'olina State University.
pack It away. You need to do some
experimenting with recipes or your
cooking techniques, says Dr.
Nadine Tope, extension fo^s and
nutrition specialist, NCSU.
Many of these new foods are
simply products designed for the
consumer who doesn't have the
timeordesiretocook, Kinlaw notes.
For example, microwaveable
sandwiches, snack foods, burritos
and toppings for vegetables and
meats were among the new items.
The areas of condiments and candy,
gum and snacks accounted for more
than 2,700 of the new items avail
able.
Read the owner's manual care
fully You arc less likely to be disap
pointed ifyou are not expecting the
impossible. Then try some of the
recipes which came with the ap
pliance. Look for other appropriate
recipes in special cookbooks and
magazines.
Keep the appliance where you
will use it frequently
Forthe traditionalists among us,
the extension specialist notes that
leading vegetables in the market
this lime of year include carrots,
broccoli, potatoes, peppers, iceberg
lettuce, tomatoes, celery and cab
bage. ''While supplies of some of
these vegetables fluctuate a bit
from week to week as har^’ests shift
among growing areas, overall sup
plies will be very good,” Kinlaw
says.
Once you have mastered the
basics, try to put the appliance to its
fullest use. Many people learn to
use an appliance for one task and
then never explore its other
capacities.
Grapefruit supplies are good this
year, with Florida production up a
little and Texas growers harvesting
almost 20 percent more than last
winter. This year's larger orange
crops are also coming to market.
Winter pears, which include
D’anjou, bosc and comice, are in
record supply this year.
BABY FOOD
If you make baby food at home,
you may find it convenient to freeze
single-serving portions, suggest ex
tension foods and nutrition
specialists at North Carolina State
University.
Spoon freshly-made baby food
into a clean ice cube tray or drop
spoonsfuls onto a cookie sheet.
Cover with foil and freeze until the
food is solid. Then put the frozen
cubes into a freezer bag or con
tainer. Thaw only the number of
cubes the baby will need at one
meal, and be sure to thaw the cubes
in the refrigerator, not on the
counter.
NEW APPLIANCE
If that first dish from a new ap
pliance w*a8 disappointing, don’t
Don’t make more baby food than
you will use up in one month, and
never refreeze thawed baby food.
Bur UMmonAns bavimgs bonds
Our Opinion
Picture Not So Favorable
For Speaker Joe Mavretic
Television Ministry Hurt
By Jim Bakker And Others
A hous« built with a weak foundation is hardly expected to stand
long and endure the pressure sure to come.
The political house Joe Mavretic has built has a shaky founda
tion, and from all present day appearances, that house might col
lapse when the next political storm comes.
Mr. Mavretic was elected speaker of the North Carolina House of
Representatives in a political coup which surprised even those on
the winning side, we feel. When 21 dissatisBed Democrats join with
42 Republicans in the election of a house speaker, then as partisan
politics develops along the way, the house begins to swing and sway.
The day before the election of a house speaker, it was generally be
lieved and in most quarters accepted as fact that veteran Speaker
Liston Ramsey would win without difficulty. But the coalition had
done its homework well, and Mr. Ramsey was dethroned. And
frankly, he should never have been running.
There are times when people become so powerful and so dictator
ial that they seem to feel that some office or position belongs to them.
The people of North Carolina apparently have not been so disturbed
with the defeat of Mr. Ramsey as they are the way it was done.
Democrats had a right to expect those 21 defecting Democrats to
stand by the party which elected them. That did not happen. All
through the legislative session Mr. Mavretic held forth as speaker,
but never did he really get the confidence and deep down support of
either the 21 Democrats or the 42 Republicans.
Now one member of his team, a Democrat, Representative Donald
Dawkins of Rockingham, has defected. He will return to the Demo
cratic party organizational fold. Then with an election coming up
next year, some members of his team will not run again, some will be
defeated, and others may leave the team.
To gain re-election as speaker, Mr. Mavretic faces some tough
sledding. Already the wear and tear on the Mavretic combine is
showing. He hardly can expect to get 21 Democrats to follow his
leadership and support him again for the speaker's position.
As of this time several Democrats are seeking support for the
speaker’s job. They include Rep. Joe Hackney of Orange County, Sa
muel Hunt of Alamance County, and Robert Hunter of McDowell
County. Then a few days ago. Rep. George Miller of Durham County
says he has been approached to make the race for speaker and he is
giving the matter deep thought.
In reality, the picture as it is now shaping up seems to indicate
that Democrats feel they can derail Mr. Mavretic this next time and
elect a Democratic regular as speaker.
There are a lotof “ifs” to face. If the Democrats can hold their pre
sent house majority, they might beat Mr. Mavretic. If the Republi
cans make substantial gains in the house, Mr. Mavretic might pre
vail again. If Mr. Mavretic can hold in line enough Democrats, he
might can win.
Right now those “ifs” seem to favor Democrats who want to unseat
Mr. Mavretic.
While we have a very strong dislike of the acts of begging preach
ers pulling in the money from innocent victims, we realize at the
same time that there are many shut-ins and elderly people in
America who use the television ministry as the form of worship.
Jim Bakker was one of the most successful “begging preachers.*
He reaped in millions of dollars and the jury has found him guilty of
using millions of dollars for his own lavish lifestyle.
Being found guilty on 24 counts surely must represent a heavy
sentence when on October 24 he comes back into court to hear what
the judge says. We read that he can possibly be sentenced to 120
years in prison and fined $5 million.
There are people who sympathize with Mr. Bakker and who sin
cerely believe he has been handed a bad deal. But this man brought
his troubles upon himself. He just became “too big for his britches."
If money is the root of all evil, then this man surely knows the roots
well.
In recent times with the indictment of Mr. Bakker, the ugly story,
of Jimmy Swaggart, the verbal fight between Jerry Falwell andMi.
Bakker, along with several other television ministry stories, the
public seemingly has become rather suspicious of the whole group.
From the evidence presented at the Bakker trial, few people in-
our country have lived in such luxurious style than did the Bakker
family. To have an air-conditioned dog house, to have gold taps in
the bathroom, to own several expensive cars and homes, and to pull
out $265,000 to keep a church secretary quiet about their sex meeb
ing, all add up to something far removed from religious commit
ment, we feel.
In general terms such television ministers as Oral Roberts, Pat
Robertson, and Billy Graham, have appeared to be going strong still
without all the ugliness attached to the likes of Bakker and
Swaggart.
However, Mr. Robertsis about to close down his City of Faith Host-
pital because it has not done what he hoped it would do. And he is
selling five homes on the residential area of Oral Roberts University
in order to keep the institution afloat
Some of the other television evangelists are quiet these days.
They realize people have an inborn distrust right now, and unless
the money flows in, the show cannot be on the air.
Now as for Bakker’s future, it is difficult to say. Surely, he will get
a term in prison. We must guess about 30 years plus a fine of aroumj
$2 million. His television ministry days may be over for him. Now his
wife, Tammy, might be able to cry her way through and keep the mi
nistry breathing for awhile.
One thing in all fairness must be said. Not all television ministers
are dishonest. Some are dedicated and sincere. The very fact that
they beg for money might put a cloud around them today, but again
they cannot keep going without cash.
Hard To Reconcile
Need Is There
When mention is made of the lack of entertainment or somewhere
to go and enjoy themselves in regard to teen-agers, parents very na
turally perk up.
In recent days, parents have spoken out in “letters to the editor”
on this subject. The letters are well placed, and it is good to know
that the P.S. Jones PTA is sponsoring Friday night dances and urg
ing the young people to come out and enjoy themselves.
The success of any measures taken to appeal to young people de
pends in large part on the willingness of the parents to give full and
active support. Friday night dances may well be one project de
signed to appeal to the teen-agers. In future days, surely there will
be others. But what the P.S. Jones PTA is doing now is a good start)
Two men commit murders in rather similar circumstances. One
man is sentenced to die in the gas chamber while the other gets lilh
in prison.
Each one has killed someone in cold blood. Both murders were
planned well ahead, carried out without regard to pain and suffer
ing, and both saw their victims die while pleading for mercy. -
Now with the difference in the sentences, we understand how it is
so very difficult for some people to reconcile what we call justice. For
one man to live and another die for the same crime places this thing
we call justice in a rather awkward position.
Yet, this happens often right here in our own country. Today we sup
pose that we have more than 1,000 men and women on “death rows”
in our states. But we also have perhaps three or four thousand peo
ple, some in prison, and some out on parole, who are just as guilty as
those awaiting final disposition of their cases.
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