Newspapers / Mars Hill University Student … / Dec. 10, 1973, edition 1 / Page 4
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Page 4 MARS HILL COLLEGE HILLTOP Monday, December 10, 1973 BAKER'S by Jim Baker I nearly painted myself into a corner this time. At the end of last issue’s Frying Pan 1 men tioned that this issue’s column would be on fraternities and in the course of the past two weeks I have decided that maybe I ought to stick to more non-sacred institutions. On several occa sions recently I have been visited by certain representatives from groups which will remain a- nonymous, who helpfully sug gested I take up residence in a new area with a very warm climate. Bring used to the higher elevations, I had to re fuse their kind invitation, but I do hope to visit them there some day. Some other visitors were actually uncivil towards me, thinking 1 was going to insult their organizations, and a few just requested that I change this column’s subject, explaining to me that there are some things one does not satirize. While I do not agree wholly with that, I will respect their demands/threats/ requests (as the case may be), and revise my article. 1 believe the pen is mightier than the sword too, but I can’t see taking on 632 Brothers with my 19e Bic Medium Point. Due to the national crisis facing us concerning the short age of energy, this column will be used to list some practical solutions to alleviate the energy shortage at Mars Hill. This was requested of me by the adminis tration, and next issue, hopeful ly, I will be able to return to satire. Let me begin by saying that the age of affluence has come to an end. We can no longer afford to be so wasteful and uneconomic al; therefore you could get in the swing of things by reading this with one eye at a time. Every little bit helps! By the same token, listen with only one ear and breathe sparingly using one nos tril. It has been calculated that if all Americans will stop per spiring, we can save 20,000,000 gallons of water yearly. So drench the frequency you must bathe (breathing through one nostril, we won’t smell half bad). Don’t chew chewing gum at all. This is very wasteful, and if you find you can’t quit, just gum the WMHC Survey Radio Station WMHC is con ducting a survey to determine the number of FM and AM receivers on campus. If you have a AM or FM radio, please fill out the form by putting your name, dorm name & number, and state whether your set is AM or FM. Please drop card in a box marked WMHC Survey. Your response to this survey will help us in getting a good radio service to the college and the community. Pleatf Detach and place in box marked mhc, in C afeteria Residence Hall . room No.. Which type radio do you have (circk*) AM KM FM STFRFO 1 sould like to sec WHMH become a FM broadcast station (circle) YF.S NO UNOrCIDFO gum. Don’t chew. It’s the little things that will really save energy. I suggest every student do his part and sleep late. This will accomplish at least two things: (1) A students active hours will be reduced, and (2) the cafeteria will not have to prepare breakfast. If this proves unfeasable, the cafeteria will be allowed to cook a morning meal, but three minute eggs can only be boiled two minutes. In sleeping, remember not to dream. Dreams are in variably wasteful, and let us fol low the fine example of time is approaching, and, probably, many weak willed students will be tempted to study. Think be fore you act! If you feel you must study, do it by candelight or in the dark. Perhaps enter prising students could be en couraged to take in boarders in their dorm rooms. This is fine, and the college should get !4 of the boarders rent. Prizes should be awarded to the room housing the most people. Some dorms could be closed down, and the residents housed in phone booths and commuter lockers in the post office. Shower stalls could also be utilized. Like I said. We’ll all have to make sacrifices. We’ll have to cut down eating, talking, and moving about. Special recognition should be given to the person who can stay in one place, silently, for the longest time. He must be alive to qualify, however. If you must walk do it with conservation in mind. Use one leg at a time, or both legs and one foot. Walk only downhill, of course. Smoking can be con tinued. In a closed room in habited by at least 17 smokers, a substantial amount of heat will be produced. The RJ Reynolds tobacco company informed me that if everyone will begin smok ing, the U.S. can save 4% of its heating oil this winter. We should keep this in mind. The closing of gas stations on Sunday is only the first step. Eventually, gas stations will be open only from 3:45-4:00 on Tues days and from 7:30-8:00 a.m. on alternate Fridays. Drivers will only be allowed to purchase $25.00 worth, or 3 gallons, of gas at any one stop. Any car which cannot average at least 87 miles per gallon will be banned from the roads. The government is considering lowering the speed limit to 8 miles per hour on regular roads. By the way, I have heard that the U.S. interstate road system will be closed someday, and the asphalt in the roads will be cut into strips and sold for use as bowling lanes. Driver’s li censes will be harder to obtain in the future, a person must be over 50 and swear he had nothing to do with the Watergate tapes before a license will be granted. All this means that students will find themselves staying on campus on weekends. Contrary to popular belief, there is a lot to do in Mars Hill on weekends. Watching the stop lights change color, watch ing hair cuts, or reading traffic signs are just a few of the many things there are to do. People start pollution. People can stop it. Beginning now, some of the agencies and departments on campus can do their part. I propose that parking tickets be only given to vehicles that are moving, and therefore wasting gas. Commendations should be awarded to parked cars; especial ly double parked cars, which are saving twice as much. The infirmary never has been known to exert any unnecessary energy, but they could save a little more by using re-usable monofilament fishing line for stitches and making the injured or ill student take care of him self. I understand this has al ready been implemented. A stiff penalty will be imposed on stu dents who wastefully get injured, with the degree of punishment proportional to the degree of illness. To help with the heating students should not be reluctant to burn faculty members in effigy and gather round the fire. Also, I can think of several professors and students who should be placed in the basement of the campus buildings so that all their hot air will allow therm ostats to be set back. To prevent wasteful over exer tion, physical education classes will be limited to low-effort exer cises, like eye blinking and finger stretching. I hope that by following these few suggestions we at Mars Hill will become conservation oriented and an example to others every where. In closing, I would like to pay tribute to those who have already been doing so much to conserve energy: the SGA, the maintainence department, and, most of all to WMHC Radio. WMHC deserves special recogni tion for doing the most of all. . . namely, for doing nothing. In cidentally, next issue’s Frying Pan will only be heated to a boil, to conserve energy. Degree in Appalachian Studies Proposed For all those interested in Ap palachian history and/or studies in Appalachian Arts, there is ^ new degree being offered entitled Appalachian Studies and will probably begin in the fall of 1974. Presently there is a minor offered in this area including one course each semester plus one during the mini-mester. Last summer was the beginning of the Appalachian Summer Work shop which is also part of the program. Mars Hill is a member of the Appalachian Consorchium which is a union of five Western North Carolina and Eastern Tennessee Colleges and Univer sities oriented toward developing studies in the history and culture of the Appalachian region. Studies through such depart ments as Music, courses are being offered such as folk dance. Through the efforts of the five schools, the program is well on it’s way to success. With a degree in this major, it is feasible that a graduate could go into the fields of education or social work. This is a proposed degree and if all goes as planned, there will be this new B.A. degree in Appalachian Studies open next fall. LITTLE MAN ON CAMPUS Next time you see someone polluting) point H out. It’s a spewing: smokestack. It’s litter in the streets. It’s a river where fish can’t live. You know what pollution is. But not everyone does. So the next time you see pollution, don’t close your eyes to it. Write a letter. Make a call. Point it out to someone who can do something about it. People start pollution. People can stop it. t; Keep America Beautiful ^ 99 Pork Avenue. New York, New York 10016 A Pubic Service ctf The Newsoipv A The A^Mrtetfio Counci VC % cv eUPFV^ 'tOU'P I fior a UB Mar has n Of the tees a 1974. hers w the Bo tley a ®6etin tees The Dr. Charli Corbet Howel] kory; ^ann, I’irst of Boc ^cDon the '^hurcl ^s. Of M. Pi h. Bu hshev Wa Th ea Placi °^tgo the ®erve. four heach Claud *^reen ^ornw tori; ^■ison h- J. ter :e bo ro; tea Euei sviij i-eagi:
Mars Hill University Student Newspaper
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Dec. 10, 1973, edition 1
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