Newspapers / Mars Hill University Student … / Dec. 10, 1976, edition 1 / Page 13
Part of Mars Hill University Student Newspaper / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
The Eillto-p, December 10, 1976, Page Thirteen age onc6 presented Y did not uite yet- ite yet/ Stephanie emotional e was of' n. e up wit^' ince in ® im exact' excruci' ried hi® ie senti' :he Unite® Lt was jt®*" iictable a® lanie spet^ i:t wife a” She kepi Dinster arrived' Pauline Pratt, Pauline Pratt! There’sa Wedding at Magnolia Hill; And Guess Who’s at the Altar? ^JiorsJ_Na^: ri/ sim-ilccrity to actual personalities } Merits is merely coincidental. i ^or those who missed the first six Hsodes of Pauline Pratt^Pauline Pratt^ characters will be listed again for benefit, i; Dexter Pratt: j'^U College. ^line Pratt: President of Magnolia 250 pound wife of P. Operator of Belle's ^ter. °ha Lou Belle: J^fantS/and executive secretary to the l^sident of Magnolia Hill. ^ey: Janitor in the Administration ilding; Stella's "father." 'y and Sissey Trotler: Professors of lOi ®ial graces and field hockey,respect- fc^^y* hlla Boredeaux: A star student but 1-lal misfit at Magnolia Hill College, froi" pe Machonelli: Transfer from Chihua- Sh® Tech, horticulture major, tenor in an'l college choir, and captain of the .ife nf pef keS L® college choir, P^all team. l^ioia §uag7??itrst; Eighty-eight year old ^''htier belly dancer and missionary b, coastal Namibia turned grouch, fstgp Maria Smith-. Bedpan angel k® head nurse at Sisters of Solomon l| ®6tal Hospital and Convention Center i'll ' r ^eaks, Georgia. t Episode; i^en last we ind seC rfrieii'^' ind th e' that h ithei ^ uiitl IS a toa^ southed; )ndet^’|. rings ; IS phi^ us . rhroug that wond® ,ur hsP lise ■ I 10® ■s toO' thi^ , -en last we left the residents of ^hiolia Hill, Mike Machonelli, con- '®d by love for Stella, entered her -private bungalow at Sisters' Gen- ^1, professing his "love, true love" 1^*' Stella. Since Mike's pronouncement t ®tts have snowballed at Magnolia Hill: the fervent proposal proffered on ,®ded knee at Stella's (and Felicia's) 1 ®side to the hectic pace of prenup- plans. i^^gnolia Hill has buzzed with the ^®talating news of Stella's betrothal; ever-conscious of trends in ter-seven wedding receptions,has top- „ even Madame du Mammie' s culinary .'‘Us in his petit fours creations ®Sey has made all the stag party. the arrangements including the 17 Sara Lee cake complete with pop-up Bertha Bartalski, parliamentarian V the Magnolia Hill Missionary Society ® '■'•p -t-Vio local 'Search for ( president of the ®s ^®terday' fan club. Sissey has also -6red for the party, the latest in flicks—'The Three Little Pigs Go j Sweden' Barney is hard at work ®Htig on the last of the Nicaraguan r®e,so dear to Stella's heart, on her ^tvian llama wedding tunic (ordered direct from Inca Instincts, Inc. locat ed in New Rurubomba, Georgia, haven for unwed Peruvians and llama lovers) Flora Lou Belle, confused by the coin cidence of Stella's hospitalization and sudden engagement, plans a baby shower,inviting -all of Magnolia Hillian society (Grace, of buffeteria fame; Pauline, local adulteress, and Sister Anna Maria Smith, bedpan and now bosom buddy of Stella's) Felicia Quag- murst, having secured a rare copy of Namibia, My Blessed Namibia, vocalizes daily in preparation for her debut at Stella's nuptual Oi^r Story Resumes; The big day has finally arrived. The entire population of Magnolia Hill is gathered at the Free Will Pentecostal Orthodox Church. Notes and erotic rhythm swell from the Kimball 450 elec tric organ. Inside the vestibule, a frantic Bobby, who has been placed in charge of the wedding ceremony, cues Felicia to begin her African aria. Felicia, still disabled, is wheeled in to the sanctuary by two elderly Namib ian pygmies (converts from Felicia's belly dancing and gospel singing days). While they take their places down front, Bobby is heard to whisper to one of the guests, "Have you ever tried to fit a Namibian pygmie in a tux?" As Felicia begins her melodious rendition of the Namibian national anthem. Flora Lou Belle, referring to the nonexistent baby,'whispers' to one of her customers seated across the aisle, "Was it a boy or a girl?" Meanwhile, in a side room, the dis- graught Stella dons her Guatemalan gar ter while Barney nervously gropes for the right words to tell Stella of wed ding wonders and woes. "Stella, I have been meaning to tell you something since you were a teenager. Remember that story about the stork—it's not true." Stella, aghast at this sudden revelation, exclaims, "Oh, no, 'PapaJ" Back in the sanctuary, the pre-cere monial events continue as Felicia soars into the thirteenth verse of her solo, the pygmies singing the descant. P. Dexter leans to the old man seated be side him and inquires, "Now what was the name of this group?" To which the old man replies,"! believe it's Felicia Knight and the Pygmies.Far out man,out- of-sight I" At the back of the church, Bobby pauses from arranging the attendants to enlist Sissey's help in removing the somewhat repetitive singing trio (since half of the guests have already dosed off)VGet the old bag and her bongo bang ers out of here quick. Sweets." Sissey Ivunbers down to the front clutching the be-tuxed pygmies and simultaneously wheeling off the unwilling Felicia (who has just finished the refrain to the fifteenth verse). Stella and Barney ap pear in the doorway. As Sissey wheels the trying trio past them, Felicia is heard to mutter under her breath, "Why the hell didn't you let me finish all 25 verses,you ungrateful hussy!"Stella, already flustered by Barney's shocking stork story, is thrown into a maniacal frenzy by Felicia's unexpected fury. The first notes of the wedding march are heard, and Bobby cues the attend ants to start the procession. Mike, a- long with his favorite brother from Eta Bita Pi, emerges from a side door and takes his place at the altar. As.Sister Anna Maria Smith, Stella's one and only attendant, reaches the front, Bobby notices that Stella is minus her bou quet. Rising to the occasion, he grabs the nearest potted poinsettia and thrusts it into Stella's quaking hands, and Stella is on her way. All aoes well until the minister asks the customary question: "Are there any gathered here who know of any reason why this man.and this woman should not be joined in holy matrimony? If so, let him speak now or forever hold his peace." From the back of the church, a gruff voice answers, "Just hold on, now. I've got something to say, and I want you all to listen." Who is this man who holds Stella's fu ture in the balance? Will Felicia ever forgive Stella for truncating her solo? Will Stella's poinsettia need watering before the end of the ceremony? Find out the answers to.these and other exciting questions in February, as you follow the continuing newspaper drama, Pauline Pratt, Pauline Pratt.
Mars Hill University Student Newspaper
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Dec. 10, 1976, edition 1
13
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75