February 1997
FEATUKisS:'ii
PAGE?
has taken twer every administraler,
ry at NCir^M in recent months. We have had
panel di^'ussions, assemblies, and (who can
he honest, open and truthful discussions? When
to use the Stentorian as a sotmding board for
■s, we hoped ^f^tttplete honesty that ivould
npus. Wevrould like to believe that the students
about thetrpersonal experiences wrote ivithout
If to undeestand that xvhat is often leftunspoken
i,aswell- conversaticms that spark at 12:30
I ofhalbfioteswill probably remain within the
a wonJerfil, diverse and accepting atmosphere
orth Carolina, but we can never forget that we
r discrimii*nted against on a daily basis be^use
entatioit. beyond the walls of this utopia, we
‘St way to prepare ourselves as future leaders of
'lings and thoughts out Ihe imderstanding and
hlonica Dev
io^Edi ffif. in-Ch ief
d
BLACK MALE fR.
Attending NCSSM
has caused me to question
and reevaluate my long
held beliefs on many so
cial and racial issues. As
a. young black child grow
ing up in Colorado, I be
gan to form many biases
based on my experiences.
Every school I attended as
a child was predonunantly,
but not overwhelmingly,
white. Even though I lived
in aradally balanced com
munity. I was still exposed
to the racist views that my
classmates picked up from
their parents. At an early
age I began to understand
that them were people who
wouldn’t like me based on
the color of my skin. No
matter what they said to
my face or how nice they
seemed, I would often
bear these same people
telling racist jokes or us
ing racial slurs. Some of
these commits were di
rected to me, generally in
a joking manner, by
“friends’*. No matter how
funny they seemed to
think the joke was, I was
never amused.
ome school is different: the constant ha-
rssment of my so-called ”friends’\ Have
our paterits ever gotten an anonymous
hone call at 1:00 in the morning threating
le life of their child? What my parents told
le these callers said echoes in my mind.
Faggot” “Queer-bait.” ‘“We will kill him.”
hen I would go to school and I would hear The fact that I’m barely passing my
le same things, from the same people who classes doesn’t matter as much to me
'ere my best friends before they found out as knowing that there is at least one
was gay
Have you ever been afraid
lat by the end of any given day
3u could find your skull collid-
ig with a porcelain urinal by
people promoting good-old “family
values"? Hate is not a family value.
It has taught me one thing: only
let those know who you know will
accept you. Or at least not hurt you.
Which is why, I guess, so many of my
friends at NCSSM know the real me.
place where I can be safe and, to some
extent, accepted for who I am.
pi^^;Aa^-I>EMALB SR.
jthers refer to tl» friend be
side 8ad this sdiool stould
stay that Way. Now, it is quite
sard f®r the to tolerate my
where the ghosts
)f discffruination still haunt
he people -—black and
vhite— While I know that
hrec hours noith I have a ha-
tea for irne equality, despite
he etimtt group to which any-
>ne belongs.
Coming from a moderatdy sized school with
a relative balance in the two major race catego
ries, I existed largely widiout a categoty of my
own. There was a small h^ftil of Asians in the
school with me, and we wtsre mostly excluded
from any rem relations or friendships wUj oth
ers. Sure there was thecasual respcc^l acquain
tance, but there, I felt Asian and differenL
There was pbyiqus and ^)en racial tension
between whites ati4 blacks to the point that mi
other races were barically forgmten as separate
entities of society. It is difficult to see where I fit
into the world because of the stress placed on
“white or black”. Idon’t predate when people
mention racial tension and expea y« to think
of only white ys. black, ignoring tLi existence
As a result, I began to con
sciously avoid white people as
much as possible. I had two or
three white friends I grew up with
whom I never felt uncomfmtable
and genuinely believed wae not
biased. This kept me from be
lieving that all white pet^le were
ignorant, as many of my other
friends felt But after leaving el
ementary school and beginning
middle school I lost touch with
my white friends. Afterward, I
made no attempt to get to know
any other white people and my
biases were cemented by my
other friends. So from middie
school on, I had no close or long
lasting friendships with anyone
who was white.
All of this has changed sin^
coming to NCSSM. I began to
question my own racist views as
I came into close contact with
whites who showed no signs of
overt racism. As a result, rye
opened up to many people I
wouldn’t have considered taUdng
toayearago. Despite the healtity
racial climate I fee! this
campus provides^
its are hard to break. The
majority of my friends
and associates here are
black It is just a simple
faa that I will always feel
more comfortable around
people I can identify with.
This doesn’t mean I
haven’t realized that rac
ism is a bad thing, no ma
ter who it comes from.
Living here has helped me
to put the past into per
spective, and judge people
based on the content of
their character and not on
the color of their skin.
BLACK Female SR.
My experience at NCSSM
has been one in a million. Since •
around 6di glide, 1 have always
been tormented about having
more white friends than black. I .
^dno: ?aa black”.! didn’t wear
"black" clothes. When I started
high school, 1 only prayed that
things would get batov and they .
were okay for those two years I
remained a hrane..
What made me decide that
NCSSM 'was the place for me? 1
noticed that I was looking for
pet^le that were in similar peer
groups as I around school. I was
seturching for people who hung
out with a certain number of
whites and a certain number of
the tip of a hat.. Even though I
though I lived in an era of equal
ity, mtmyk^ were taught by ,
patents, who did not exactly agree
widi that doctrine. I had to get ouL
1 was so scared when I ga
hoe. Ihqied that evayone would
be open-minded and that this
would he a community eff equal
people; And my dreams came
true. The people here are nR con
cerned about you or your busi
ness. They are interested in your
mind and what you are capable of
doing, not what yrat are like m:
wha yoit ate trying to “act like".
Each oudent has enough ccmcons
of thek own, trying to re-adjust
and m^ new Maids, that they,
unlike myself, look for students
with simila qualities tha they
blacks. Chieday itdaivned on me, wouldo^o;^ spetuhng time with.
that I could not continue being
concerned about what others were
sapngto tra. Yes, thetotmentand
name-calling hojrt. but! hadiq
Ihave built relationships here
that will last a lifetime. When I
w^ a home, I was “that black
am aj>er^ with in-
HtSPANlC FEMALE IR.
When I first arrived at
NCSSM it seemed like a diverse cam
pus, generally tolerant and accepting
of other races and cultures. I was
shocked, however, when I walked
into PFM. When looking beyond the
chaotic scene one huge division is ap
parent, blacks on the left and whites
on the right For a while this seemed
an incomprehensible behavior since
NCSSM appears to take pride in their
multi-culturalism; wc have one of the
most diverse campuses in the state.
But now, as a student who has been
directly affeaed by this imaginary
line, it is obvious that it goes deeper
than a student’s preference of left or
right in the cafeteria.
For most students, NCSSM is
a personal struggle to find their iden
tity. When you first get here, who you
are is unclear; for the first couple of
months you are tom between who you
were and who you arc becoming. To
maintain sanity in this, struggle, stu
dents feel the need to find something
familiar with which they can identify
of others.
I couldn’t tell you if
writing tiiis was ncc^sar-
ily a good thing to do, na
could I deem myself wor
thy of passing judgement
m the racial opinions and
expressions of those around me. Sometimes being
^>en about tuie’s feelings has Its advantages, but
somaimes it doesn’t. At times, I felt like! couldn’t
win because both whites and blacks made fun of
my being Asian. It was as if two omies fighting
against each Oher had joined forces for the mo
ment to battle a small troop. As a child, I frmnd
myself at odds, frustrated, and ofhm aylng.
When I came to NCSSM, I found many more
Asians, but I often found more tolerant, less igno
rant pec^le. I still feel Asian, and I doubt ! would;
with. Many students at NCSSM
find this refuge in those of their
ovimrace. But what about those of
us who do not have that racial
safety net? Because of the small
p^entage of Hispanics at
NCSSM, I learned to live with the
sitting arrangement. For me it was
never a difficult decision; I simply
sat where my friends were sitting
at the time. I have a wide variety
of friends and whether I sit on the
left or the right! feel welcome.
I, as many others, would
like to walk into PFM and see no
race distinction within the sitting
arrangement. This will never
change however, because the first
friends you make here are your
closest friends since you undergo
the whole adapting period with
them. 'The only reminder of how
things were when we first arrived
is the only thing that remains con-
stanL our meals at PFM. We try to
recreate this time of ignorance and
optimism through the friends we
made then. So PFM remains seg
regated, and it is all right.
ever losse the sense of my etiutie background, hut Tfeel
Asian and equal. Different pet^lc are willing to become
my friends here. Hiis surprised me at first, then became
a standard ! feel! should bold up to the world and not
just the Nt^SM community, Obviously, biases can be
found anywhere you go and l do not claim that NCSSM
is in any way an exception. It is useless to think that we
should defy all nouro! laws and exist as a utopia, or even
come close. But relati ve to the grand scheme of things,
and relative to my old schools. NCSSM is the closc,st
T ve come to any type of uto|»a.