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THE LEXHIPEP
April 2, 1963
PAUL'S PUNS
—PAUL CANADY
When nine-year-old Gerald answered the phone at 11 p.m., a
voice said: “We are making a survey of delinquent youth. If you
have any children do you know where they are at this moment.
“Yes,” replied Gerald, “we have, and I know, but can you tell
me where my parents are?”
Parents are people who bear infants, bore teen-agers and board
newly-weds.
Old Lady; The weather here in Florida is so warm all year round,
how do you tell winter from summer?
Hotel Clerk: In winter we get Cadillacs, Lincolns and stuffed shirts.
In summer we get Chevrolets, Fords and stuffed shorts.
Woody was giving his friend the first ride in his new low-slung
foreign import. After they had been driving a while, the friend appear
ed to be puzzled, so Woody asked hm was was wrong.
“I can’t figure out what that long wall is we’ve been passing.”
“That’s no wall,” snapped the driver. “That’s the curb.”
A businessman called his wife from the office late one afternoon.
“I’ve got two tickets for MY FAIR LADY,” he told her.
“Wonderful, darling,” she cried. “I’ll start dressing at once.”
Please do,” he replied. “They are for tomorrow night.
A tramp knocked on the door of an English Inn called the “George
and Dragon.” A tall, bony and homely woman opened the door and
glowered at him.
“Could I ’ave a bit to eat, Mam?”
“Not on yer life!” the woman screamed, slamming the door in
his face.
He knocked again, and the woman again opened the door.
“Gould I ’ave a few words with George?” he asked.
A teacher once had the son of the town’s outstanding citizen and
banker in her class. The boy cheated constantly and yet she was
afraid of telling his father. She finaUy wrote on his report card:
“Forging his way steadily ahead.”
Tlie reason the average girl would rather have beauty than
brains is that the average man can see better than he can think.
A small town is a place where everybody knows what everybody
else is doing, but they read the local paper to see if they’ve been
caught at it.
It’s nice to see people with a lot of get up and go, especially if
they are visiting you.
The lieutenant, in a good mood, entered the barracks and said,
“I’ll give five bucks to the laziest man here.”
They all rushed forward to put in a claim except the Texan who
drawled from his bunk;
See Us for Your
Spring
Wardrobe
Daisy’s
THE GIFT SHOP
UNUSUAL GIFTS
Cathell Building
Lexington, N. C.
FRIENDLY
MARKET
Fairview Drive
Lexington, N. C.
Compliments of
City Drug Co.
Compliments
of
PEOPLES
DRUG CO.
545 East Center St.
Phone 246-2993
'Typewriters rented by the
week or by the month.
The J. F. Ward Co.
Merchandise of Quality
Ph. CH 6-2344 Lexington, N.C.
CLEANINS
(^•2515
“Just roU me over and slip it
in my pocket.”
Compliments
of
INDUSTRIAL BANK
Member of F.D.I.C.
Compliments of
LANIER HARDWARE
Headquarters For
Sporting Goods
PARKER-MILLER
DIAMONDS
LEXINGTON
STATE BANK
Lexington & Welcome
Member of F.D.I.C.
FRED O. SINK
PRINTING
HOUSE
SNOW FINALLY FALLS ON LEXINGTON
On February 26 a rare thing
happened; it snowed! The down
fall began right after morning
classes convened at L.S.H.S. and
continued heavily through the
evening. Naturally school was
closed on Wednesday, February
27, and students enjoyed a holi
day on which to sled, sleep, and
study la very little bit). Although
the .snow did not live up to pop
ular expeitations of a real snow,
it was a welcome change in the
weather. Fortunately, the day
lost will be made up at the end
of the school year rather than
being taken oT the Easter holi
days.
Compliments of
EMERY E. RARER
Insurance
Agency
Compliments of
BINNING'S INC.
Talbert Boulevard
ARMY - NAVY
Your Wilson Sporting
Goods Dealer
E. 1st Ave.
Compliments of
Wennonah Cotton
Mills
Lexington, N. C.
LITTLE MAN ON CAMPUS by Dick Bibler
He’s actually a big help. Mr. Holcombe let’s him grade all his
papers.