Grimsley High School
Volume 71 No. 6
801 Westover Terrace
Greensboro, NC 27408
April 1,1995
ds spring time draws near, the sun comes
out, the birds begin to sing, the flowers are
blooming, and there’s always the stench that
reminds us of the landfill. The Biology
department claims that the stench is due to the
bloomingginkos. Oneteacherswearsthatit’s
the presence of Tunnel Man {see article,
right). However, the//ig/jLi/e staff has done
extensive under the covers work and found the
true secret behind the “Smell of Spring."
Sources at Taco Bell revealed that a certain
Grimsley employee has an obsession for
chilitos andbeanburritos. This insatiable urge
for Mexican food has lasted for several years
and is obviously catching up with someone
on campus. The school board is sending some
of the pink stuff from downtown in order to
remedy the unknown employees problem and
provide an enviromnent more condusive to
learning.
Wario Lopez, who played A.C. Slater on
Saved By The Bell, is scheduled to be a
studentteacherintheP.E. department. He will
be working under Coach Smouse after spring
break and hopes to be an assistant coach for
the wrestling team next year. When asked to
comment, Lopez replied, ’’Get out of my face,
preppie.’’
D ue to lack of interest, this year's prom,
slated for May 26, has been cancelled. The
prom was scheduled to be held at Bryan Park
this year after much conflict arose last year
about holding such an important event in the
gym. However, this year, the Wrangler
McDonald's Soccer Tournament, marked oft
for the same weekend, has forced students to
choose one or the other. According to sources,
less than 20% of Grimsley students had
plaimed to attend.
Tliiinel man resurfaces
By Sarah Paragraph
Reporter
One homeless man finds refuge on
Grimsley’s campus. Referred to as
‘Tunnel Man,” this enigmatic character
has lived at
Grimsley in se
crecy for several
decades.
Although un
known to many.
Tunnel Man lives
in the basement
of Main Building,
often venturing
into the huge un
derground pipes
connecting the
buildings on
Grimsley’s cam
pus.
“Legend has it
that in 1933 at the
height of the
Great Depression,
Evidence of Tunnel Man
a person was
spotted in the tunnel. I do not know
whether today’s tunnel dweller is the
same or several generations removed,”
said Mr. Allen, who first saw Tunnel
Man in 1987.
“I have seen Tunnel Man on several
occasions. The most unusual was
during a lunch period when several
hundred students were present (1992?)
between Main Building and the science
buildings,” Mr. Allen added.
“He hasn’t been seen for a while,”
said Juli Peeler, a junior. “He lives
under the school inside the tunnels. He
sticks his head out of the manholes
every once in a while. Also, in the
basement, there are some strange
things that look like someone is living
down there.”
A refrigerator, sofa, bed, and empty
soda cans can be found in the basement
below the Main Building, suggesting
that someone is in residence there.
Mr. Allen is not the only Grimsley
teacher to know of Tunnel Man’s
existence.
“Sometimes he comes into Room 500
and ‘borrows’ items students have left.
Sometimes s/he comes in after school,
closes my windows, turns on the radio.
s existence can be found in CHS basement.
and writes on the desks,” said Mr. Hands.
Both teachers are quick to point out
that Tunnel Man’s gender is unknown.
“Tunnel Man appears similar to a
“street person” of the 90’s. We should
Tunnel man appears
similar to a 'streetper
son' of the 90's."
Mr. Allen
Latin Teacher
actually be cognizant that “he” may be a
female,” said Mr. Allen.
For those on the look-out for the
vagabond, he or she is reportedly short
in stature and moderate in build, with a
moderate to dark complexion.
Although some may doubt the valid
ity of Tunnel Man’s existence, many
Grimsley staff members and students are
positive that he is real.
“Some claim
that Tunnel Man
is actually a phan
tom, haunting the
grounds because
GHS is built over
an Indian burial
site. Others claim
it is the ghost of a
former teacher. I
think Tunnel Man
is a human being,”
said Mr. Allen.
I have seen
evidence of him,”
said Whitney
Wright, a sopho
more.
“Empirical
data and rational-
Fonde Foto . make belief in
consequential,” said Mr. Hands.
Tunnel Man is reportedly also to
blame for the frequent knocking on the
pipes during the winter. Many say he
did not pass Mr. Saunders' Calculus
classand hopes by knocking on the
pipes that he can distract today's
students. Mr. Saunders was not
available for comment at the time this
paper went to print.
But what does Tunnel Man have to do
with the average student?
“Tunnel Man is an integral part of our
educational surroundings as well as the
Grimsley tradition,” said Wright.
“I think that Tunnel Man is a little bit
of all of us; incarnate, a physical
metaphor for the decaying soul of near
21st century education. He is the
refugee, left behind, who must stealthily
and humbly reside constant in the
bowels of the American dream,” said
junior Alec Ferrel.