Newspapers / Grimsley High School Student … / Dec. 3, 1996, edition 1 / Page 6
Part of Grimsley High School Student Newspaper / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
Dating violence ommi e crime o he Time By Sarah Pcnder;ratt Editor in Chief In America, the counlJT with Uic high est published rape statistics, 78 women arc raped ever)- hour. 1.872 each day. o6.160 each montli. tuid 683.280 ctich yctir. Only 16% of these assaults arc reported to the police, even tliough convicted rap ists face three to rive years in prison. It is estimated that one in tweh c male college students has committed acts that arc legally defined as rape, but 84% bclived that their actions w'crc positively not rape. The definitions of ••rape" arc, however, very specific. Having sexual intercourse witli some one who is cither mentally incapacitated or physically helpless is rape. Victims unable to cn aluate their conduct or re sist any sexual act committed upon tliem are considered mentally incapacitated. Physicalh' helpless victims are either unconscious, unable to resist sex physi cally, or unable to communicate w'illing- ness to have sex. It is second degree rape, and a Class C felony to engage in se.xual intercourse with someone you know' to be mentally incapacitated or physicalh' helpless. Dnigs and alcohol play a major role in man>' rapes of this nature. 75% of men and 55'Mi of women invohed in aquaintance rape had been drinking or using dnigs. Rohypnol, also known as "the date- rape dnig," is an ine.\'pensi^'e dnig, cost ing bciw ecu one and five dollars a pill. Combined with alcohol, the dnig can knock a user out for eight to nine hours and lca\'c them with no memory recall. Mmw' men who had sex witli women who were high on rohypnol ha\'e been con victed of rape. SRO Robinette said. "Tlie scariest tiling about tliem (rohypnol pills) is that they don't look ;md different than over-the-counter dnigs. They can be cnished up and dissoh ed in a drink w'ith no trace." The dnig comes into die coiintiy from Mc.xico and Columbia, tuid. on some oc casions, Americans arc tiblc to bring three month supplies into this countri', claiming diat it has been prescribed to them as a cure for insonmia. 0\'cr 60 countries allow' the sale of rohypnol for insomnia patients. Robinette added. "The reason w'e know it (rohypnol) is in town is that a member of the vice-narcotics squad made an undercoi'erbiiy." Statuory' rape is a class B felony, and first degree rape. Having vaginal inter course with a child under 1.3 if you are at least 12 and four years older than the victim is statutory rape, and is illegal even if the sex is consensual. 61% of rape victims arc less then 18 years old. Forcing another person to have sex while employing or displaying any w'eapon is first degree rape, as is forced intercourse that infiicts serious personal injiin.' on the victim, or acting as a group tuid raping a victim. People convicted of a Class B felony can be sentenced to spend between three and a half to 25 years in prison. Almost nine in ten rapes are ne\'er reported because the victims feel too much shame, feel that they may not be believed, or arc Uireatened by die assail ant. In a sun ey of victims who did not report a rape, 43% did so because they thought that nothing could be done. When cases are brought to trial, convictions are often difficult to come by. and most rapists spend less than four years in prison. However, in re cent years, as awareness levels hai e risen, so has the number of reported rapes. Low self-esteem precipitates abuse By Nikia Jonc.s Staff Writer ■'Where were you.” John yelled. "1 w'as at die mov ies." said Lisa. "With who? You're seeing someone else aren't you?" he fiercely asked. "No. I'm not." He x'chcmcntly yelled "You're lying to me." while sho\'- ing her against the door. "You're hurting me." Lisa whimpered. "If you cared about me. dien you wouldn't lie to me. You don't love me. You're no good.” said John. This is just one possible conversation that might take place in an abusii c relationship. Research shows that the highest percentage of dating violence tends to occur among couples ranging between the ages of 16 to 21. E\ idcncc indicates that there arc main more abusive couples existing toda> than in the past. Dat ing I'ioicncc can occur in urban, niral and suburban settings and does not discriminate between any class or race. Dating violence in the form of physical and emo tional abuse devastates its victims, making them live in fear of losing or leaving their partners. Opinions vary on what constitutes abuse. "Simply, dating vio lence equals abuse. It may harm you internally and extemalh in the present and in the long nin,” said Karen Lane, a jimior. An abuse x ictim searches within to figure out what prox'oked the attack. The victim tries to comprehend the x'iolcncc in terms of his or her own behavior and tries to see gtiilt. Blaming oneself is what keeps many x'ictims attached to the abusive partner. "A girl should not remain with an abusive boyfriend. Girls make ex cuses for their boyfriends actions because they arc blinded by what they think is love,” said Riibaiya Talukdar, a senior. Many doctors say a degree of psychological secu rity exists in being abused. Tlie message it gets across is the person is no good and deserx'es to be abused. "No one deserves to be abused. It solves no prob lems," said Talukdar. ■'Any relationship can be abusive if one doesn't share love and respect for tlie odicr,” said Shera Seigla. a senior. Emotional abuse takes the form of criticism and verbal attacks resulting in feelings of worthless ness. "A violent relationship is not surrounded by love. It is not healthy forphysical or mental aspects of a person,” said Lane. According to psychologists, there are many rea sons why dating violence occurs. One reason is the x'ictim's Mid tlie attacker's self-wortli is damaged. Physi cally dicy may appear sure and confident, while inside they constantly put themselves down. Natalie Miller, a senior, said. "People are more prone to be attracted to the wrong person if the\' have low self-esteem. Tliey arc looking for someone to provide the stability they CMinot prox'ide for themselves no matter what tlie con sequences are.” Research proves that these dreary self-portraits originate in childhood. For many people involved in violent relationships, their parents were abusive. Therefore, abuse seems iionnal to them. Young, abusive men repress their feelings of worth lessness and insecurity b>' masking tliem w ith bravado. Because his sense of self conies from outside and not within. Ml insult or perceiv ed threat may trigger him to v iolence. Many women with no self-worth are terri fied of being alone and believe they are nothing with out a man. So they search for love and are willing to settle for any relationship, abusive or not. In a 1990 surv'ey in Minnesota, nearly a quarter of high school students surv eyed admitted to having had at least one experience in dating violence. 50% of girls reported their partner had either pushed, grabbed, or shoved them. 25% said they were kicked, bitten or punched, ;ind around 4% were threatened with a gun or knife. The boys who were questioned said their actions were of anger, confusion. Mid feelings of love. "Love needs nourishment. An abusive relationship will only destroy the little love the two people have.” said Lane. On the other hand, there arc positive parts of a vio lent relationship in the eyes of the victims. No rela tionship is violent all the time they say. What takes place in between violent episodes is often extremely satisfying. The influences of T. V. and movies along with gen der stereotypes that women are weak and fragile and men are forceful Mid dominMit have led some to falsely believe that abuse is socially acceptable. "When a person knows he/she is violent, the individual wants to justify it and some movies may give them that justi fication,” said Talukdar. Some warning signals for an abusive mate are: agitation, nervousness, snappiness, and a steady, more intense, growing pattern of verbal arguments. Dating violence begins with the first incident of abuse. The event itself may be an argument over even the smallest, trivial thing. Later, the couple may not sW'-Lwf*' remember what triggered that first fight, only that it shocked them. The woman feels betrayed and hurt while the man feels shame and guilt. Many feel that once violence begins it goes on un til one partner takes the initiative to step back and re examine die situation. Reality surfaces vvJicn violence gets so bad, one person fears he/shc niav be killed. "When a person takes tlie time to examine die prob lem. he/she actually thinks of ways to make the situation better instead of using v'iolencc which only mtikes it worse.” said Haqrcr. Here are some tips from doctors on saving your self if in a violent re lationship: talk to someone you tnist, such as a parent, counse lor, teacher, or friend. Don't keep your abuse a secret. If you feel you can't talk to anyone you know, call the Rape. Abuse. & Incest National Network at 800-656- HOPE. Do not blame yourself. No one deserv'es to be hit. Set up a plan to get away with the help of friends or family. Leave your partner unless he/she begins seeing a counselor to learn how to control his/lierrage. Most importantly, don't give up! "The first step to end the violence is recognizing that the person is doing something wrong. Self-examination will allow the person to gain more self-esteem, con fidence, and find alternatives to violence,” said Talukdar. Most people see relationships as focusing on love, not violence. A bumper sticker, which was popular 20 years ago, but sheds light on dating vio lence, reads "Make love, not war.” "If violence is what love is about, you need to reconsider your definition of love. If someone loves you they will not hit you,” said Miller.
Grimsley High School Student Newspaper
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Dec. 3, 1996, edition 1
6
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75