Volume 73 No.8
Grimsley High School
801 Westover Terrace
Greensboro. NC 27408
April 1,1997
a
The Princeton Review revealed in a press release
last week that anyone who took the SAT after 1983
needs to have his or her score reevlauated. "It
came to our attention that the scores we mailed to
students were merely arbitrary numbers, and in
no way relevant to the students' actual perfor
mance. Sorry," said Mr. Don T. Care.
Prom will be held at Skateland USA on Stage
coach Trail again this year. The Dice Game will
be played, and Prom guests are invited to eat as
many nachos and as much cotton candy as they
can hold, on the house. The winner of The Hokie
Pokie will be named Prom Queen. Ifyou want to
practice for the big event, the PTSA is sponsoring
a "Skate Night" next Tuesday at 5:30pm.
Tliere will be no student parking at Grimsley next
year. The student parking lot will 'oecome bus
parking for the 1997-1998 school year. The ad
ministration felt that driving on campus has be
came too reckless. "In an effort to make our cam
pus safer, all students will be required to ride the
bus to and from school," said an anonymous ad
ministrator. Tardies are expected to plummet
Grimsley Guidance Center is proud to announce
finalists for the Excellent Acheivement Award.
The new scholarship, sponsored by various civic
organizatons, including the local Wild Bore
Preseravtion Association ,will give over $35,000
to; Willa B. Loser, Eileen Dover, Seymore Pitts,
Hugh Stink, and Bea Quiet.
The prestigious Ima Fascist Award applications
are now in the Guidance Center. The application
requires an up to date FAFSA, a current resume,
an essay entitled "Why Mussolini Rocks," and a
3x5 picure of applicant in a brown shirt.
The administration is proud to announce, as part
of the "We Can Relate" plan of interaction with
students, that they will be joining the seniors at
Myrtle Beach for Spring Break. They will be stay
ing at the Blue Seashell, just two blocks from Red
Tree. Everyone is invited to kick-off the week
with an ice-cream social on Saturday night at the
Seashell pool.
Coiseum loses millions as
ACX) comes to Grimsley
By Sarah Backwoods and Kelly Cannoli
Staff Writers
In case you haven't noticed, on Thurs
day, March 6, the Maryland Terrapins
were practicing in our gym. The players
claimed that their
bribes, and Roseanne Barr’s application is
at the top of the pile. Barr said that she al
ways wanted a career that would benefit
society, and now that teacher pay will actu
ally meet the minimum standard of living,
she must jump at the chance.
ability to make it to
the second round of
the ‘97 tournament
w'as a direct result
of their productive
practices at
Grimsley. After
ward, Maryland re
quested that
Grimsley host the
entire ACC Tour
nament next year.
The second
string players were
particularly en
thralled with the
spotless, fresh
smelling restroom
facilities. Dookis
A. Sukyteem, the
player on the team
with the highest
grade point average
said, “1 could have
sat in there all day.”
The estimated
profits of hosting
the tournament next
year are $900,000 for Grimsley. When
asked about the loss of the tournament at
the Greensboro Coliseum, overpaid of
ficial, 1. M. Phuluvit said, “That’s O.K..
We have the annual gun and boot greas
ing contest to keep us busy.”
Grimsley will be using their profits for a
210% raise in teachers’ salaries. This
prompted a rush of submitted job appli
cations for next year. Mrs. Teague’s desk
tattiotn^CtSlffoovered in resumes and
Terrapin says, "Gimmie the rock, baby," to a team member during
practice in the GHS gym_
Other proceeds will go towards maintain
ing toliet paper in all the bathrooms, hir
ing an individual to establish a feasible
tardy policy, and installing drain pipes for
when it rains, eliminating the Swamp
Grimsley problem. Student suggestions
are now being accepted in the Attendance
Office, but get there before 8:30 A.M. or
you’ll get The Locked Door.
Lucky 32 will be providing conces
sions during the tournament games, ac
counting for the $ 10.00 increase in ticket
prices. Any fan not in the 12th grade will
promptly be given ACC detention if they
eat their refreshments off campus. For
the second offense they will receive two
days OSS, not to be confused with the
“Only State
Stinks” conven
tion.
The ACC
Board decided to
incorporate a
major half-time
show with ap
pearances by
New Kids on the
Block and Rush
Limbaugh. They
are playing in a
combined per
formance, in
cluding a varia
tion on
NKOTB’s popu
lar song, now
dubbed, “[Rush
is] The Right
Stuff.” Adminis
trators are having
a tough time de
ciding how traf
fic will flow, see
ing as how no
one is allowed to
use the Service
Drive. But it will help after we tear down
Jamieson Stadium to make room for park
ing. Sports fans will be able to utilize
the long-awaited freshman elevator that
the administration plans to construct.
Many students are excited about see
ing their favorite college pla} ers next
year. Ali Sure, a fifth year sophomore
said, “Seeing Wo Jo will be neat-o, but
I’d rather get an autograph from Rush.
Danny’s also pretty hot.”
i'ik’ photo
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