8
High Life Thursday, November 29, 2001
Features
To go out or not to go out? Th
Dating dominates daily life, sets pattern for future
By Carrie Fields
Staff Writer
We’ve all heard it a thousand
times - adolescence is the age of
emotional turmoil. It’s cliche, but
true. Teenagers everywhere
struggle to form a personal iden
tity as they leap into the big, bad
world of adulthood. Yet, through
out the ages, another issue has re
mained first and foremost in the
teenage consciousness - dating.
You may scoff at the sugges
tion that a typical high school stu
dent would trample over more per
tinent issues in the frenzied pur
suit of a mate. However, according
to most experts, the teenage ob
session with dating cannot be at
tributed to mere superficiality.
According to Dr. Robert
Doolittle, a specialist in adolescent
medicine, there are two major
sparks that fuel the intensity of the
teenage dating drive.
“First, biologically, adolescents
are advancing in their sexual matu
ration, so they have hormones that
make them interested in a sexual
relationship,” said Dr. Doolittle.
“The second reason is TV. The
message on most shows is sex, sex,
and more sex. Combine the two,
and that’s where a lot of the em
phasis comes from.”
So, does this mean that teens
who seek an emotional relationship
are only masking their rampant sex
drives? Not necessarily.
For students like sophomore
Jack McDonald, dating can serve
a deeper purpose as well. He said.
“I think relationships are very im
portant in high school, because
they allow you something to hold
on to during a stressful time of life.”
Dr. Doolittle agrees that high
school relationships often have a
positive psychological effect.
“[Teen relationships] are a form
of experimentation with the adult
way of life,” he said. “Teens are
figuring out how to make a better
choice every time they have a new
relationship. It’s like taking English
101,102,103... they pro vide a learn
ing experience in how to relate to
others.”
Senior Mary Ann Kong does
“[Teen relationships]
are a form of experi
mentation with the
adult way of life.”
-Robert Doolittle,
M.D.
not regret any relationships,
whether they endure everything or
end in a week. “I think that you
should date as much as possible,”
she said. “By dating many differ
ent kinds of people, I can learn
about myself and also discover the
kind of person that I want to be
with in the future.”
On the other hand, the positives
of teen romance are sometimes
shadowed by a negative psycho
logical influence. According to Dr.
Doolittle, social pressure makes
teens try to be something that they
are not. He said that nearly all
people, male, female, hetero- or
homosexual, go through a phase
when they define their behavior for
the sole purpose of attracting a
partner. While somewhat true
throughout life, it especially applies
during the high school years.
Kong agrees. “Some people
change their whole personality
based on who they are dating,” she
said. “I know girls who feel like
they have to have someone in or
der to fit in. They are brainwashed
to believe that they can’t be com
plete if they don’t have a guy.”
Kong also believes that while
males today still feel some pressure
to dominate, they are also expected
to show a sensitive side.
For Dr. Doolittle, however, the
importance of gender is most sig
nificant when considering, on a
larger scale, the different expecta
tions that a male and a female bring
into the same relationship.
“In most high school relation
ships, girls are looking for love and
boys are looking for someone to
have sex with,” said Dr. Doolittle,
who believes that these misunder
standings are a direct result of
society’s influence during the ado
lescent years.
“It’s the way we are raised. Look
at what the culture tells men - to
be tough, never to cry or be vul
nerable. Their first sense of a rela
tionship comes from what they see
in the media as to how a male is
supposed to act.” said Dr. Doolittle.
“Girls are expected to be nurturers
[according to society] and to help
make things better. They learn that
the most important
thing in a relationship is
to care about some
body.”
If taken too literally,
gender stereotypes may
convince us that every
male tries to deceive
women into sex, while aU
women are emotionally
genuine and passive.
According to Kong,
“Guys can definitely be
caring and sensitive.
And, often, girls carry
the whip in a relation
ship. They can be rude
and deceptive towards
men, too. It goes both
ways.”
In assessing the high
school student’s men
tality, most mainstream
magazines or TV shows
will testify that dating
and romance, in their
many forms, play a huge
role in teenage life. For
some, it is an obsession,
or just a natural conse
quence of being young.
Others find the social
fixation with dating to
be exclusive and emo
tionally detrimental. Re
gardless of whether you
routinely visit
www.crush.com or if the
thought of romance
makes you gag, dating
has branded its mark-
in pink lipstick-on our
generation.
‘Tips for Teens, ” 1966
Couples voice objection to casual relationship
By Matt Griffin
StaffWriter
Harmon photo
Seniors James Harmon and Rikki Smith visit New York, after going
out for over a year. They see each other every day and usually eat
lunch together.
The wild male lion lives as the
leader of his pack, mating with
multiple females. The black widow
spider kills her mate when she is
through with him, while swans part
ner off for life.
So just what are the mating hab
its of the American teenager in the
wild?
Of those who choose to be in
relationships, most students tend
to fall into one of two categories:
those who prefer a serious long
term relationship with a single per
son or those who feel dating
should be casual and not limited
to one person.
James Harmon and Rikki Smith,
both seniors, have been dating for
over a year—“Right now we’ve
been going out for 14 months,”
Harmon said. According to
Harmon, the relationship began
through friends who knew that he
and Smith were interested in one
another. He and Smith learned
about one another’s interest
through the friends, and things
developed from there. “Rikki made
the first move,” Harmon said.
While Harmon and Smith are
enjoying a serious relationship,
senior Kayte Neas prefers the ben
efits of casual dating. “It’s high
school,” Neas said. “There’s no
reason to have a serious relation
ship right now. There’s so many
options to explore.”
Neas feels that the best part of
casual dating is that it allows for
freedom and exploration. “You
don’t get caught up in just one
person. You get to meet more
people and experience different
things,” she said. Harmon, mean
while, thinks that students in
volved in serious relationships
benefit from their personal connec
tions. “[The best thing about a
serious relationship is] probably
the fact that you know you have
someone there if something goes
wrong, and they’ll always be there
for you.”
Despite the difference in dating
philosophies, those who prefer
serious commitment do agree with
those who would rather stick to
casual dating on some aspects of
a relationship. The typical date?
“Usually we go out to eat and then
hang out somewhere,” Harmon
said.
Neas echoed Harmon’s re
sponse. “I like going out to din
ner, [and] just bumming around,”
she said.
Serious and casual dating, how-
“It’s high school.
There [are] so many
options to explore...
[yet], you go through
dry spells and you get
lonely.”
-Kayte Neas,
senior
ever, both possess inherent draw
backs. For the casually-dating stu
dent, the lack of a constant com
panion can be disheartening. “You
go through dry spells and you get
lonely,” Neas said. Yet students in
serious relationships have their
own problems. “Your weekend is
basically taken up if you have a
girlfriend and a job,” said Harmon.
Casual and serious dating both
have their high points and their
drawbacks. But regardless of
which dating path you may choose,
one thing remains the same: at least
you won’t be killed and eaten by
your date when the niglit is over.