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Volume 210 No. 0.6
S'S 7
Grimsley Elementary School
3.56 Rodeo Drive
French Fries, ZX55555
Feburary 30, 2008
Prom to be held in auxiliary gym since
other venues booked, students dismayed
■
Students have been spotting Bigfoot in the upper parking lot. The monster
graduated from Greensboro Central High in 1964 at the top of his class.
■BY MF.RRY HARMONY
Viking
Q
^^#tudents are outraged
over the decision to hold
this year's prom in the
Auxiliary Gym. Admin
istrators suggested mov
ing the dance because of
parents' concerns over too
much floor space fo roam,
according to an anony
mous senior's mother.
"Unnecessary, poten
tial danger is created by
having a large floor space
for hundreds of studenfs
to dance on. Last year,
my daughter witnessed
others dancing wildly in
a broad, circular pattern
over the floor. Water was
spilled upon girls' bright,
tacky dresses, causing
their fake fans fo rub off,
leaving faint orange
stains on the fabrics," said
fhe parenf.
Unlike their parents,
students are horrified
over the change. Sam
Hyman, Student Body
President, has
threatened to stage a
coup to violently over
throw the administrators.
"I urge the whole stu
dent population to band
together and fight. Jun
iors and seniors, this is
your prom! Underclass
men, this is your future!
Charge!" yelled Hyman
as he commandeered the
Morning News Show.
Assistant principals
Beverly McCarthy and
Bob Christina then
pushed Hyman from the
cameras' view.
"Come and get it,"
shouted Christina. "Bring
it on!"
Teachers are also dis
turbed over the
administration's sudden
and drastic decision.
Michael Courts, a
teacher chaperone, has
been seen muttering to
himself the phrase "I just
want to dance!"
Teachers brawl in hallway
>YGIRUWHO-EDnS-WIKIPEDIA
Creeper
Law enforcement was called
to campus last Friday in re
sponse to a fight that broke out
on the second floor of the Main
Building. This time, however,
it was not students who dis
rupted the normal schedule; it
was teachers. Emerson Emhall
and Marcus Harryton were
found brawling in the hallway
during first period.
"It was insane," said sopho
more Antonio Alexander, who
at the time was in Mr. Emhall's
Honors English 10 class. "We
were just sitting there in the
hall, doing our work, of course,
and all of a sudden, Mr.
Harryton burst through his
door with a vengeance!"
Emhall and Harryton were
believed to be friends; they of
ten consulted with each other
on English department policies
and chatted in the halls during
class changes.
"Mr. Harryton
complimented Mr. EmhaJl on
the birthday hat he gave him
and wished him happy birth
day back in February," said
sophomore Mary Prep, another
one of Emhall's students. "Mr.
Emhall told him he loved funny
hafs! It's something they had
in common."
Neither Emhall nor
Harryton would comment on
the reason behind their fight,
though students offered their
own theories, which ranged
from jealousy of smarf students
to annoyance of the loudness of
the other's class.
"I bet [the fight] was over the
hall," said sophomore Jack
Hershey, who was in
Harryton's Honors English
class at the time. "Both classes
were trying to do group work
there. Our classrooms are close
together, and the hall is only big
enough for one class."
Whatever the reason, the
damage is now done. Reports
say books, such as
"Siddhartha," "All Quiet on the
Western Front," and the Level
Three Prentice-Hall grammar
book, were hurled across the
hall. As the fight became
rough, students from classes all
over Main Building filled the
second floor hallway to cheer
on their preferred teacher. Both
are known to be popular
among their students.
Officials were called by
nearby teacher Elsie Tongons,
who was also taken
downtownas a witness for
quesfioning. Police officers re-
sorfed to herding students into
the grove to maintain order.
Officer Ridgell handcuffed
both Emhall and Harryton be
fore they were taken to the
Guilford Counfy Schools
Headquarters after first stop
ping by Principal K-Flem's of
fice for a lecture.
"I strongly expressed my
distaste for their behavior,"
said Flem. "This is such a ter
rible example to set for our stu
dents. I must say, however, that
I am not surprised. This year
has been so full of disruptions
like these. We probably should
have seen it coming. Logically,
the teachers would be the next
ones to catch the fighting bug."
Once downtown, the teach
ers were suspended from
school for two months. Hall
was reported to have suffered
ten broken fingers and a
smashed nose, while Harrison
was freated for a broken leg and
sprained hip. Popular subsfi-
tutes Mr. Vafunfe and Mrs.
Trirzycki will teach their stu
dents until the culprits return
in May, just in time for End-of-
Course Tesfing. Students are
concerned about their final
exam scores and hope their
teachers return soon.
Internet photo
Lizards are cold-blooded animals who enjoy lying in the sun
and eating assorted types of beetles. They migrated to North
America in the early 17th century from Eastern Russia.
Paperclip on strike
5YUZDEBTFREE
world
Teachers go on strike
for cars, closing school
until an agreement can
be reached.
page 3.14
culture
President George W.
Bush resigns nine
months before end of
his final term.
page?
economy
Prinicpal K. Flem admits
a secret passion to
become world famous
butterfly catcher.
page 0
Cashier
Every Spring Break, while
students are enjoying both the
sun and much-needed time off
from school, custodians per
form a ritual cleaning of the
school campus and buildings.
They scour everything from the
parking lot to the Data Room,
looking for filthiness or any
thing malapropos.
Janitor Guy Porter was in
charge of maintenance for New
and Old Science, the trailers,
and the greenhouse. While wa
tering the various plants in the
greenhouse last Thursday, Por
ter happened to stumble upon
a cannabis, or marijuana plant
growing in a clay pot concealed
by a cluster of Tagetes patula,
more commonly know as mari
golds. Porter alerted principal
K-Flem immediately.
"We were both completely
flabbergasted at the fact that an
illegal substance was found
growing on school grounds. I
find it difficult to believe that
anyone, student or teacher,
would be so irresponsible as to
partake in such an evil deed,"
said Flem.
Soon notified were fhe Sfu-
dent Resource Officers, who
performed a fhorough shake-
down of the greenhouse. The
officers aquired a small lead.
"We all figured if was very
clever fo hide the marijuana
plant next to a bunch of mari
golds because the leaves On
both plants are very similar
looking. The pot was a chame
leon," said officer Blake
Shamus. "The odd thing is that
the marigold is not native to
this area. It generally grows in
South America., so the culprit
must have been a person quite
knowledgeable about botany."
All teachers working in the
science department were ques
tioned on Friday, though no
new information was revealed.