Spread Topic
aul
nl -r
A
What spread topic? Who
did the spread? I didn’t do
the spread. Did you do the
spread? Oyvey! Ms. Roz
will bemad!
pages 1/4-7/8
1 Volume 84 No. 7
hLIF
While
many of
us drive
around,
sipping
our Starbucks Coffee
in our Hummer H2s,
there are just as many
people in South
America drinking
cocoa liqueur and
kicking baby leopards
in the stomach.
59
page # 2
News
Ice Cream killer
rages through South
Nevada, targeting
chunky mint chocolate
chip flavors and plain
vanilla.
Opinion
Why you gotta do
me like that lil’ girl?
I SAID WHY YOU
GOTTA DO ME LIKE
DAT SALTYSUGA!
page #0
Features
Yeah, my features
are definitely my left
knee cap and
sometimes my elbows
when I lotion them.
Sports
The Olympics were
ancelled due to
inclement sunny weather
md random spurts of
:at and dog attacks.
page #69
Index
News 9
Opinion 16-12
Spread 14B-C
Features 19-25
Sports 32A- 36D
Grimsley High School
801 Westover Terrace
Greensboro, NC 27408
March 24, 1891
Seniors, juniors lose parking privileges
on campus because of pothole frenzy
BYCEMMENTAR
Transportation Specialist
Most of you know that the
student parking lot at
Grimsley is filled with pot
holes, bumps, and general ne
glect. During the month of
April, the student parking lot
will be closed to all student
drivers in order for transpor-
fation specialists to repave the
area. All students who drive to
school will need to find
alfemate ways to school or find
parking availability off
campus. Due to the size of the
lot, it will take approximately
three weeks for completion of
the maintenance.
We know this situation will
cause problems for those of you
who drive to school, but be
cause of the numerous
problems and the budget
recently designated for the
repairs, the time cannot be
changed. Extra school buses
will run for the month of
April to accommodate the
extra students who will be
riding them. Please be sure
to check in the student hand
book for times and routes for
the bus schedule.
April is generally a mild
month regarding climate, so
bike riding and walking
would benefit not only stu
dents, but the atmosphere as
well. Rather than being upset
by this inconvenience, let us
consider this inconvenience as
a way to go green!
Party on: principal, police officer,
popular underclassmen find new hangout
BY DANNY PARTRIDGE
Party Hardy Down (PhD)
During the week of March
15-19, a significantly notice
able number of seats in the caf
eteria and benches in the Grove
appeared to be empty during
lunchtime. It is a well known
Grimsley policy that only se
nior students may leave cam
pus for lunch; however, the
disappearance of numerous
underclassmen has raised con
cerns for not only students but
staff members as well.
When informed on this mat
ter, Principal Anna Brady and
Officer Marc Ridgill teamed up
to investigate this mystery.
"Oh we'll find 'em, alright.
They always run, but they
can't hide; I've got the eyes of a
hawk and the speed of a chee
tah," said Ridgill.
At the time, the man in
black was exerting energy
while doing jump jacks—mo
mentum, maybe?
"Ever since I was a little girl
growing up in North Carolina,
I have wanted to be just like
"Nancy Drew," and now is my
chance to shine. The issue of
the missing students at lunch
will be solved shortly, folks,"
Brady assured staff, students,
parents, and other illustrious
members of the community.
On Friday, March 19, at ap
proximately noon, Ridgill and
Brady searched each building,
only to find a couple making
out in the cafeteria building
(You little rascals...you know
who you are!); one of the jani
tors singing along with his
iPod to '"Thriller" in Old Sci
ence; and a teacher, whose
name shall remain unknown,
picking his nose in the Main
Building. After a long walk
around the entire campus, the
two decided to enjoy the last
few minutes of lunch outside
in the fresh air. Immediately
after leaving the gymnasium,
they heard distant sounds,
which they soon realized came
from the bus parking lot.
Following their instincts, they
walked up to the bus parking lot
to monitor activity in that area.
Approaching the parking
lot, something bright and shiny
blinds Ms. Brady.
"Ridgill, put that darn
badge up! You're blinding me,"
said the principal.
"Uhh, that glare is not my
badge," Ridgill said sighing
and pointing to the top of his
head. A few feef ahead of the
two partners on a mission stood
a yellow school bus, #809 to be
particular, and on that bus
were several underclassmen.
Some were fist pumping, some
were jumping up and down,
and others were dancing like no
one was watching; little did
they know. As Brady and Ridgill
stepped onto the bus to
bust the party going on,
they were distracted by the
impressive disco ball hanging
from the bus ceiling and the in
tricate system hooked up in the
back of the bus. What
could Brady and Ridgill do but
join the dance party?
Administration from Central
Office asked both authorities for
a report on the infamous lunch
skippers.
"Turns out the underclass
men felt as if they had an unfair
disadvantage by not being able
to leave campus like the seniors,
so they started a little harmless
fun. Today the kids taught us
how to 'Crank Dat Soulja Boy',
and we believe this act of rebel
lion could bring some spice to
our campus. After all, lunch
time has never been so
enjoyable," said Brady, and
Ridgill agreed.
Sunbathing in solace leads two to trouble
BY COPPERTONE BABY
No Butts About It
Employees have recently
started gossiping about two of
their colleagues who have been
missing from the past three
faculty meetings. The two cast
aways have turned out to be
none other than the infamous
power couple of Matt and
Kristian Martineau, math and
social studies teachers, respec
tively. While administrators
searched to no avail for the two
lovebirds in the teachers'
workroom, the various offices
on campus, and second floor of
the Home Ec Building, the rest
of fhe staff was entranced by
staff development training for
Marzano's "Classroom In-
sfruction that Works" and the
new evaluation procedures ef
fective next school year. Recent
evidence has put all rumors to
rest. "High Life" reporters
caught the Martineaus sun
bathing on the roof of the caf
eteria building after long days
of hard work. Mrs. Martineau
was reading "Psychology Today"
while Mr. Martineau was con
centrating intensely on his
"90:(X) Soccer Magazine." At least
they were enriching their careers.