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bus stop, a man on a bicycle stopped me. One of the first things he said to me was, “Do you speak English?” Now I was bom in Iowa, moved around a bit, then ended up here, in North Carolina. Bom and raised (except for a year or so in Taiwan) in America, I grew up to think of myplf as an American. I watched “Sesame Street,” “Mister Roger’s Neighborhood,” ate Frosted Flakes and hamburgers, wore blue jeans and windbreakers... And yet, all throughout my life. I’ve been questioned on where I come from, and if I speak English. In elementary sehool, I made friends with all types of people, and found it to be quite an ordinary experience. Except for those few comments made by that one troublemaker in the class, who made it a point to murmur a “ching chong chang” when I was near. At the time, I didn’t understand what these comments meant, and I’m sure the little boy didn’t either. However, the fact that I remember those incidents means that I must have been in some way, affected by them. Growing up, I didn’t have any more Asian friends than non-Asian friends, and like any child, did not understand what race had to do with anything. Unfortunately, leaving adolescence also means leaving innocence, and I began to realize that being Asian was an aspect that made me different from others. In trying to redefine the Asian heritage that I had viewed mainly through my parents, I became interested in learn ing about my origins. As many fellow Asian friends, I sought to learn Chinese, which was actually the first language I learned to speak, until it was substituted by a more useful one in this coun try, English. Even so, I had difficulty learning the “foreign lan guage.” Why? Because it was just that. Foreign. Though my par ents spoke mandarin to me at home sometimes, I still had trouble learning the language beyond what I already knew. Maybe the only reason I knew what I did know was because, at that point, it had come inherently natural to me. Beyond that, English was my natural language. And so I began to realize that the frustrations that I experienced in identity had a lot to do with the issue of double-eonsciousness. In essence, being a part of both Asian and American cultures, but belonging Completely to neither. This summer, I went back to Taiwan for the first time in some ten years. It was an interesting experience, where for the first time, I was really aware of the Taiwanese culture. The night markets and the bustling shopping centers in Taipei made me feel at home, for some reason. I still remember living there for the short while that I did, drinking freshly delivered chocolate-fla vored goat milk every morning, heated up by my grandparents. I loved eating yotiao and saobing, commonly sold on the street or in small side shops. The month I stayed in Taipei, I became a fan of zhengzhunaicha, or what is becoming popularly imported to the States and Canada as “bubble tea.” And even when I was wandering around downtown one night, I felt completely at home. Though my mandarin skills aren’t up to par, I still felt at home somehow. However, in reality, I knew that I really didn’t belong there. I could imagine Taiwan as my parents’ home, but not mine; I had hardly lived there, and was coming back as a mere visitor. I real ized I could only relate to Asia insofar as an aspect of my ethnic ity was concerned. As a first-generation Chinese-American, I’ve come to realize that the situation is new territory. Cultural identi ty is questioned, and in such an important stage in life as grow ing into adulthood, getting to understand oneself is essential. At this point, the Asian-American experience can at best be to live in both spheres, continuously adapting, so that we may create a niche for ourselves somewhere in the middle. E W IlMllEiailSinE® in the D Here’s a guide of what others have done, based on one that can be found at http://asianamculture. about, com/culture/asianamculture/cs/books/... DALE FURUTANI This mystery writer is the first Asian- American to win major mystery writing awards. Popular series include The Samurai Mystery Trilogy and the Ken Tanaka Mystery Series. JESSICA HAGEDORN This multi-talented Asian-American was bom in the Philippines and has done everything from drama to performance art. Check out the com pilation of works she edited, entitled Charlie Chan is Dead: An Anthology of Contemporary Asian American Fiction. GISH JEN Bom in Scarsdale, New York, Jen has written many novels with Asian characters in America. Are they autobiographical? Jen says that only insomuch as any other author; like soup, they contain bits from her own life, as well as others, and some, of the stuff she just makes up. She follows a particular character, Ralph Chang, from the short story, “In the American Society,” to Typical American, to her latest, Mona in the Promised Land. CHANG-RAE LEE This Korean-American author has proved his talent by wirming multiple awards for his work. His personal reflection of the fractured identity he feels as an Asian-American is reflected poignantly in his novels. His first. Native Speaker, was one of Time magazine’s Best Books of 1995. AMY TAN This well-known author has written the pop ular Jov Luck Club, which was subsequently made into a feature film (excellent job)! Also try other favorites. The Kitchen God’s Wife and The Hundred Secret Senses. EW - !■ i.uj m s
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