The AC Phoenix
December 2005
Missionary Annie Lou
Just for Laughs
Well, here It Is, the next time “aready”. I’m
still coming to “ya” ail the way from
Homeyville, SC. In case some of ya’II read
ing “fa” the first time. I’m Missionary Annie
Lou. Been a writing bout the tales of
Homeyville for some time now, and the
adventures of Missionary Annie Lou. Ain’t no
telling what’ll be next wit me.
Most important thang. I ain’t in DC nor
Maryland. We gotta pray. That sniper gotta
stop the foolishness of killing inooent people.
Only thang that “kin” stop him is prayer. So
Missionary Annie Lou got out a all points
bullentin for all prayer warriors. Let’s get to
sending up “dem” prayers against this here sniper. He’s not doing the right
thang, so let’s pray some dangerous prayers..
Now that reminds me, back when I “WUZ” A GIRL, we had “ta” near
bout do everythang right; wun’t hardly no space for error. Anyhows, one
day I went ta sneezing, and sneezing, and sneezing, and before I could “git
one sneeze out, thare come another. Well by the time I got through “wit" all
of “dat”. Here come my grandma. Annie Lou, “mind your manners gal",
and say excuse me. Well, I said, yes Mam, and said it. Honey, you know
what she said, you gotta say it three time cause you sneezed three times.
So, there I stood saying excuse me three times, just like I done sneezed.
Now, I thought “dat” was hard, but I’m glad she done that cause I don’t ever
forgit to say it.... til “dis” day. It showed made us “beddar” folks. Now,
when “ya” sneeze, they looking “fa” somebody who “beared” “ya” “ta”
say, God Bless “ya”. Weil, I guess that’s alright, but looks like the one who
sneezes, “git” outta saying “Notin”. So, it seems kind a different than when
I WUZ a girl.
Course, thangs show nough different from when I wuz a girl, like this one.
When we “wuz” “chilrin” all over to grandma’s. Everythang would be “goin”
fine till a thunder storm come up. Well, then everything was cut off. The
lights, the TV, the radio, and no- body “beddar” not dial that number and
that phone “beddar” not ring. Not just that, ya beddar not talk. “Ifin” you
did, it “beddar” be Lard, have mercy or a prayer of ya liking, but it would
been “beddar” ifin it was a prayer of “huh” (my grandma’s) that is. Cause
she “useta” always say, the Lord is doing his work keep quiet in “dis” house,
and “ya” bet, we “youngins” did. Yep, now a days folks will keep on the TV,
the lights. The VCR, the Computer and everythang else just like they is hav
ing a party while God’s work is a “goin”l Honey, folks is crazy. Ya know
“dey” will try us old folks now in a storm. First thang, I ain’t gonna be out
in no storm. If I am, I’m in a big rush to “git” back home. Well, in a storm,
I don’t do notin. Just like ole Grandma told us. No TV, no Radio, no talking
and especially, on that phone. Well, like I say “dem” young ones will try “ya”
every time. Yep, a storm was a brewing and a brewing the thunder was
a roiling and the lighting was a flashing. Honey, I wuz bout to just lay down
and go “ta” sleep. You know “dat” devilish phone rang. Honey, I answered,
and whoever it was says. Hey Missionary Annie Lou how you
doing Honey, I tried to keep my manners in tact, but I couldn’t. All I said
to them was, “Not in A stom” and I immediately hung up and left them a
talking to the “CLICK”! I don’t even know who it was and I’m so glad “dey”
had enough sense not “ta” call me back “agin” that night Oh Lord, I was
hot “wit” them. Honey...Whew. The next day I said, “Dem young folks will
show try yal. i’m still Annie Lou and I still believe in the “oid-timey” way,
bout Church and everythang else when it comes “ta” this what they say, “a
new day”. “Dey” just thank it’s “a new” till “dey” see, thangs is mostly the
same, it’s just folks is bolder bout doing what “dey” do. Folks been doing
all “dese” terrible thangs Now a days technology is just revealing they
secrets thangs in the dark, course it just like the Bible say, what’s done in
the house will come “ta” the roof top. Who ever wouida thought, it would
be through all this new stuff man created. . HaiHa! Oh Man is back ta”
work again.
As for Missionary Annie Lou, she just gonna keep the ole-timey way in
front of “huh”. She just says, “ifin” it ain’t broke, and “ifin” it ain’t bothering
“ya”, just let it alone. The old way ain’t broke and it show nough ain’t
bothering me.
Hee! Hawl Till next time Be safe and enjoy your Christmas Holiday.
Remember, Jesus is the Reason for the Season!! Joy to the world- The Lord
Has Come.
See ya next time. Missionary Annie Lou
Page 49
My
Answer
Dear Ms K,
I'm so happy that you told "Sad" what you did. I'm his sister
and this woman has mistreated him so much. She will take off and not
see him for months and he would loose weight and couldn't sleep well
at night. Our family told him to get another friend. There are lots of
Christian girls in the church where we belong that would be happy to be
a friend, but he just keeps telling us "I love her." She treats him just like
she wants to. When she gets ready to come back all she has to do is
call him and he's ready to take her back. This is really taking a toll on
his life and we think he should let her go. He reads your column all the
time. Maybe this will help after hearing it from you. The whole thing just
doesn't make sense. If he would get involved with someone else this
would help take his mind off of her. Instead he just waits and worries.
Thanks.
"Sad's" sister
Ms K,
No, no you were wrong to tell "Sad" to get over it and move on
to others and start dating again. That was not good advise at all. A
person that has been in a long time relationship should not and cannot
jump into another one. They need to take time to get over that other
person. They need to spend a little time getting to know themselves.
They need to learn who they are without a partner. They need to learn
that they do not need another person to be whole. "Sad" should not
jump right back into dating. He needs to unload some of the hurt and
anger that we all know he is feeling now. He does not need to carry that
baggage into another relationship and there will be baggage. He needs
to just sit back and let God order his steps. He must be a Christian if
he is writing you for advise. "Sad" take your time and don't rush!
Rev. Beverly Puryear
/ would like to take this time to wish each one of you a very
blessed holiday season. Please do not forget the true reason for
this season and that is the birth of Jesus Christ. We have received
the greatest gift and that is the love of our Lord and Saviour Jesus
Christ.
Write to:
Ms K- My Answer
P.O. Box 16144
Winston-Salem, NC 27115-6144
h
Good for A Lifetime
of Good Cheer!
a
,, ^ c ! Come by today and
make a $25 dollar donation
to the Forsyth Habitat for Humanity
Christmas Ornament Fundraiser.
Donate now and get a beautiful tree
ornament to remind you of the lifetime of
Happy Holidays you have given a special family!
FORSYTH HABITAT FOR HUMANITY
339 WITT STREET • WINSTON-SALEM, NC 27103
(336) 765-8854