April n, 1951
queens BLUES
Page Three
DC Students Satire On Reluctant Risers
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Noted Commentator
Concludes 1950-51
Concert-Lecture
Wies Here
Mr. William L. Shirer, noted for-
affairs expert, mutual com-
tttentator, and author ended the
Queens Concert-Lecture series on
i ^esday evening, April 3, when he
I *Poke to Queens College students
guests on “Our Struggle for
Survival” and “Report on Ger-
•^lany.”
The versatile Mr. Shirer has for
t'Venty-five years been considered
"Ue of the United States’ most out
standing foreign affairs experts,
during his life he has held the po
sitions of European correspondent
tor the Chicago Tribune and chief
Of the Berlin Bureau of the Uni
versal News Service. While serv
ing in the latter capacity, he col-
i^cted the material for his best
selling book, Berlin Diary.
In the recent war, Mr. Shirer
''^'Visited the European Theatre
several times. He covered the
^Uremburg trials in 1945 and has
*^uen constantly on the European
Scene ever since. During this time
has written another successful
*^0ok, End of a Berlin Diary.
The popular lecturer holds the
George Foster Peabody Award for
ills work as a commentator and
ihe Wendell Willkie “One World”
Award for his journalistic achieve-
'Pents.
Mr. Shirer now gives an analysis
the news each Sunday afternoon
the Mutual Broadcasting Sys-
No less than 250 stations air
^iiis famous commentator’s views
''U World affairs today.
There are different.responses to
the alarm clock. We shall deal with
four. '
The first type awakens at the
first tinkle, springs lightly from
bed and departs, singing, to break
fast. That is about enough about
the first type. He is a little too
nauseating to merit further dis
cussion.
The second type is equally color-
ess, but far more common. He in
variably arises with the last dying
gasp of the faithful alarm, per
forms his morning ablutions, in a
manner to which necessity has in
extricably conditioned him, attends
classes, and awakens immediately
upon entering that unholy bedlam
called, for want of a better name,
chapel.
The third type is unfortunately
afflicted with a most irritating som-
nabulistic ability. If his alarm is
placed near his head he is all right,
because he does not have to get
up to turn it off. However, if it is
placed across the room he must
either patiently await the cessation
of the un-nerving cacaphony or
emerge from his pallet, swaddled
in bedclothes and extinguish the
din. In either of these events, he
immediately returns to the blissful
state of his previous repose. Thirty
or thirty-one minutes later he
wakes up. This is not such a very
good thing as his alarm is invariab
ly set at 8:24. And speaking of
invariables, he is on Freshman cuts.
Perhaps the most fertile ground
for discussion may be found with
our fourth example. His is a sad
story. But entertaining. We were
unable to interview a typical speci
men from this group, there being
no coherent representative extant.
However, largely from curious ob
servation, we have culled a com
paratively accurate reproduction of
a typical morning.
Scene I.
Sound: Alarm No. 1, located on
desk. Brrrrrrr, etc.
Voice: Grnftz.
etc.
Voice: Grnftz.
3rd Voice: (measurably irritated)
KNOCK IT'OFF!
1st Voice: Grnftz.
Sound: Silence, as the two alarms
are cut off by the owner of Voice
No. 2.
Scene II (30 minutes later)
Sound: 7:45 Bell; full minute of
unbearable peals.
1st Voice: Grnftz.
Scene HI—(4 minutes later).
Sound: 8:15 Bell; full of same.
1st Voice: Aw to grinftz with ti
Further sounds: Dressing, etc.
ets.
Scene IV—(30 minutes later).
Professional voice: Well, Good
morning, Mr. Schmoe. Too bad that
the faculty prefers that we give
cuts to those who arrive more than
ten minutes late, eh ?
1st Voice; Grnftz.
’em both off!
SCA Sponsors
Deputations To
Several Colleges
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Ch
oir
(Continued From Page One)
next Sunday, April 15, the
^^oir -will gjjig at the Caldwell
_ ^^orial Presbyterian Church here
Charlotte. The program used for
concerts is that used on the
'^ept very successful tour of West
^>^8inia.
president of the Y-cabinet at Con
verse, was hostess to the group.
Other deputations this year have
gone to Davidson and Clemson Col
leges. Other students who have
taken part in this deputation pro
gram are: Gwenda Ewell, Joyce
Miller, Sara McNair, Jane Tipton,
Rainey Gamble, Bettye Sue Wright,
Gordan Faucette, Florence Ash
craft Deanie Berryhill, and Martha
Holleman. Each of the above
schools have also sent deputations
to Queens this year.
Had enough?
There are others. There is a fifth
type (you will note that we have
spelled out the number that all may
absorb its significance). He is on
a hangover from last semester, anc
does not get up at all. When he
finally awakens he will discover
that his name has been carefully
eradicated from thecollege rolls by
the executive committee. But he
isn’t even worth a grnftz.
There is also a moral to this
deal, but we have no Greek type
so we can’t print it .As a matter
of fact they wouldn’t let us print it
anyway. As a matter of fact, since
we are writing this at 2:00 a. m.,
they probably won’t print any of
it. No tears please.
Frnf tz ?
QUEENS OFFICERS
News Staff Photo by Tom Franklin Studio
New officers of the Day Student Government at Queens
College paused between classes today for the traditional
election photograph. The new leaders, all from Charlotte,
are, left to right. Miss Dell Martin, vice-president; Miss Re
becca Scholl, secretary; Miss Ann Hunter, president; and
Miss Jane Wildman, treasurer.
The Blues
Regrets
Due to an unavoidable incident,
the mate for the picture of the
Four Student Government Leaders
(Dot MacLeod, Bonnie Blue, Jane
PARKER-GARDNER
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