L /-\
"A
Dear Modine,
I have some personal matters
to settle with Ima and Irma Snoop,
Who are they?
Robert Retraction
Dear Robert,
Ima and Irma Snoop are a couple
of nosey personalities who snoop around
the school and try their best to get
their friends and enemies in trouble,
Modine Giinch
Dear Modine,
I had an argument with a ”friend”,
He said the next time we met, he would
^ick me in the seat, '/Jhat should I do?
Tommy Torts
Dear Tommy,
The next time you meet, sit down,
Modine Gunch
Dear Modine,
I have never dated the same boy
twice. On a date, the boy sits on his
Side of the car, and I sit on my side,
I have to. My mother sits in the middle,
^0 you think that my mother has ai^ything
^0 do with my problem?
With-a-mother-in-raiddle
^Gar With-a-mother,
No, I don®t think your mother is
the cause of your problem. Could it be
that you have bad breath?!
Modine Gunch
^®ar Modine,
How do you get a boy to take you
to ride in his car?
Wanna Ride
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Dear Wanaa,
Run and jump in before he gets
there and hide in the back seat,
Modine Gunch
Dear Modine,
I am 5®2”, weigh 200 pounds, and
have long, stringy, bleached blond
hair with the dark roots showing. No
one ever asks me for a date. What can
I do?
Fanny Fats
Dear Fanny,
”Get thee to a nunnery,
Modine Gimch
Dear Modine,
1^0 is your dope pusher?
Beany
Dear Beany,
Ann Landers.
Modine Gunch
Dear Modine,
I®11 bet no other girl in school
has a problem like mine! Every time
a boy comes to pick me up for a date,
my father meets him at the door with
a shorgun. He doesn®t mean any harm.
The gun was lodged in his stomach by
a bomb during the war. What can I do?
Aggie Butts
Dear Aggie,
Let your mother answer the door
unless she has a knife lodged in her
hand. In that case, explain that your
parents are something of individualists
in their appearance,
Modine Gunch