Page Four
PROCONIAN
Thursday, March 15, 1945
Cat
Chatter
By
Houston
Teague
After a successful cage season
we can now move out into the sun
to baseball.
Last week Coach Bud Stanbach
called a meeting of all boys who
were interested in going out for
baseball this season. Over thirty-
eight candidates had reported up
to that time. This is obviously too
many, so after the first week or
so this number will be reduced to
19. The Coach also said that sev
eral games had already been lined
up for the season and that nego
tiations were in progress for
more. The team will play about
three games every week.
Coach Stanbach wants every
one with any hidden talent to re
port for practice so that Chapel
Hill will field the best possible
team on the diamond this spring.
Thus far the fellas are really
out there hustlin’ with all the ole
spirit and we have high hopes for
the season to come.
In closing we would like to
sing the song so-loved by our il
lustrious baritone, Cummins:
“Now You May Think That
There Ain’t No More, Well There
Ain’t.”
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FACTS
(Continued from page one)
it became so weak that the whole
Cabinet resigned and the govern
ment collapsed completely.
The following day a new gov
ernment was formed, but accord
ing to the armistice, the Allies
had to approve the whole list of
offices. The British vetoed the
appointment of Count Carlo
Sforza as Foreign Minister. This
caused a crisis between the Al
lies and the Italians which has
not yet been solved. Britain’s An
thony Eden accused Sforza of
working against the Italian gov
ernment since it was first organ
ized. Sforza, of course, denied the
accusation.
This caused a bitter feeling
against the Allies because the
Count was considered one of the
greatest anti-Fascist leaders. The
veto has also made it impossible
for Bonomi to reform his govern
ment, and at the present time
there is no head of the Italian
government.
The political chaos is great,
but the economic plight is per
haps even worse. There is a great
scarcity of food, jobs, and trans
portation. An example of the
scarcity of food is told by Repre
sentative Clare Boothe Luce, who
has recently returned from a trip
through Europe.
She points out that she adopt
ed an eight-year-old Italian war
orphan, and after she had washed
and dressed and fed him, she ex-
pecte to place him in a boarding
school. Mrs. Luce explained that
she insisted on a physical exam
ination even though the boy ap
peared to be quite healthy. The
doctor, however, told her that
through a lack of food, the eight-
year-old had developed a bron
chial trouble, a slight heart ail
ment, and several other things
which might help to cripple him
for life.
Taking Italy for an example
shows all of us what is going to
happen in most reconquered
countries. It shows us that in
spite of the food we’ve been pro
ducing for our own use, many
other people in the world are
starving.
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Around C. H. H. S.
The below are questions (or
unreasonable facsimilies) which
might be found in one of C. H.
H. S.’s famous objective tests.
(We mean, of course, objection
able, but we can’t say that as
Mrs. Macon MIGHT read this.)
1. Miss Anderson and a Junior
are heatedly discussing plans for
the Junior-Senior. Which method
should he use to persuade Miss
Anderson to have the affair at
Ptomain Tommy’s? (They’ll get
no bread with one meatball).
a. Politely but firmly 3am his
fist in her mouth to stop the flow
of abusive language;
b. Give her a geometry problem
to work;
c. Say nothing till you hear
from me.
2. You find yourself unavoid
ably alone with Miss Simkins in
the office. You
a. Look out the window;
b. Inquire politely about Pierre
and his use of tu vous;
c. Tell her how you’ve always
thought Latin was a dead lan
guage.
3. You’re in the library and
Mrs. Peacock offers you a cigar
ette. You don’t approve of smok
ing, so you
a. Report her to Mr. Honeycutt
at once;
b. Exert your will-power and
say “No, thanks”;
c. Take it and get one for a
“friend.” (This is the right an-
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swer, naturally.)
4. You meet Miss Pilley at
Brady’s with her man. You
a. At the top of your lungs,
shout, “Keyhole, Keyhole!”;
b. Look for a quiet exit.
c. Hide your date and flirt like
mad with hers.
5. You see Mrs. Whitehouse
staggering down the Chemistry
Corner steps. You
a. Smile reminiscently and say,
“It was fun while it lasted”;
b. Help her down the steps; she
leads a hard life;
c. Run to the bottom of the
steps to catch her if she falls.
6. You and Miss Manci are
having a conversation. Miss Man
ci answers only in monosyllables.
You
a. Keep the conversation cent
ered on Sinatra so she need only
say “Oh-h-h-h!”;
b. Lend her a dictionary; her
vocabulary needs broadening;
c. Get one yourself; you don’t
know what monosyllables means.
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