Page Two
PROCONIAN
Thursday, April 19, 1945
PROCONIAN
Barbara Cashion Editor-in-Chief
Bill Carmichael Associate Editor
Rebekah Huggins Business Manager
Houston Teague Sports Editor
E. C. Smith, Jr. Circulation Manager
Harold Cheek Exchange Editor
Frances Ellinger Feature Editor
Sam Ross Publicity Editor
Robert Brooks Stajf Photographer
Venitah Sanders Entertainment Chairman
Miss Manci Advisor
STAFF REPORTERS
Ardie Hamilton
Rodney Waters
Margaret Curry
Bobby Cornwell
Stanley Cohen
Johnny Egbert
Helen Phillips
George Cummins
Jimmy Blake
Phyllis Ferguson
Madeline Jennings
The President
Just a week ago today at five forty-nine
o’clock, the world was shocked by the news
of the death of President Franklin Delano
Roosevelt who died of a hemorrhage.
He received severe criticism for many of
the projects which he undertook, but when one
considers how many of these measures have
been helpful to our country, the others are
almost imperceptible.
Many of us ask, ‘Tsn’t it strange that at
such a time as this the Lord should take from
us such a brave, brilliant, and powerful per
sonality.” It may be, however, that the death
of Franklin Roosevelt will do more to unite
the world than any person or event could ever
do.
Prime Minister Churchill asked for the
adjournment of the House of Commons.
Portugal’s flags are at half mast, and the
flag-ship of its navy is firing a salute every
half-hour. People all over the world, regard-
ANDREWS-HENNINGER
Shopping Center
for
All the Family
CAROLINA THEATRE
SUNDAY and MONDAY
“THE SONG OF
BERNADETTE”
Starring
JENNIFER JONES
Elephants are red.
Giraffes are blue;
They’re coming to get us
And they’ll get you too
(fiendish laughter)
In front of the Varsity
Sitting in a car,
Were Wilda and Sorrell
Who were up to par.
At school nowadays
We see Sonntag and Pat;
Always together
Having a chat.
Sharkey and Egbert
Sitting on the floor
It’s not like them
To do no more.
Our favorite postman
And Ellen’s too
Is named Jesse Riley.
Well, howdy-do!
The flowers that bloom in the spring
Has Johnny found Ardie a ring?
He writes on the desk,
“Will you please say yes (K) ?”
The flowers that bloom in the spring—
Tra, la.
That Ferguson girl is sure fast.
To Bill her line she has cast.
She pulled in her sucker,
And then she said, “Pucker!”
Da da da, Da da da, da duh.
(We went about as far as we could go)
Nita and Houston had a date.
They didn’t get back til very late.
Mouse Face said it was really great!
We guess that Mousie must surely rate.
In Plane Geometry the other day
The topic of marriage came our way
Then to Ward did Helen say—
“Will you be my Valentine?”
(blankity-blank verse)
Bootsie’s boy friend of “Crenshaw’s Revue”
Said to Miss Taylor
“I’ll always be true.”
With his face what else could he do?
Editor’s note: Guess who!
Ham “n” Hug to Manci did say,
“Please don’t cut our stuff today
We know these poems aren’t up to stuff.
But if you don’t like’em, it’s just plain tuff!”
less of race or color, are paying tribute to
Mr. Roosevelt.
We feel, that we can best pay tribute to
the great president by making our own the
great heritage of ideals which he believed
would ultimately bring social wars and in
justices to an end.
SILO —“Full of Corn”
How To Date a C. H. H. S. Girl
(The following discourse has been written
after several months of hard, yet stimulating
research. The data here is not necessarily
correct or complete, and anyone obtaining
results or having experiences contrary to
what is found in this column should report
their findings immediately in the interests of
humanity.)
In dating a CHHS girl, one must first pick
his victim. He has two types of females to
pick from. First, there are those who like to
sit around and talk. And then there are the
ones who like to have some fun. As some
forgotten soul said, “Women are like street
cars. Never run after one, there’ll be another
along any minute.”
Now that you have the girl, the next thing
to figure out is just what to do on your date.
Most popular practice around Chapel Hill
is to go to Smith’s Cinema, more commonly
known as the Carolina Theatre. If you de
cide to do this it is advised that you see the
show in advance thereby familiarizing your
self with the critical points in it which you
may use to your advantage and also to ac
tually see the picture itself. Remember
whether you be a wolf or a gentleman, it is
always proper for you to sympathetically hold
your date’s hand (or to comfort her some
other way) during the more touching mo
ments of such a show as “Thirty Seconds
Over Carrboro” starring Cas Gobble (Chapel
Hill’s answer to Van Johnson).
If you decide to go elsewhere, we will not
attempt to advise you further because of the
lack of space and the fact that Miss Manci
is at present looking over our shoulder.
Once alone with your date, you must decide
on one of several approaches. First, there is
the Indirect or Military (Use of the word
“Military” does not signify an endorsement
of this approach by the War Department as
it does not endorse any approaches) Ap
proach. In this approach, the aggressor
(usually the boy) asks the victim if he or
she has heard about how Patton broke through
in Normandy. A negative answer immedi
ately brings on a demonstration with the
right arm representing the right flank ad
vancing and the left arm representing the
left flank advancing and so on . . . This should
never be tried on Army Brats or Navy Ju
niors as they are already familiar with this
strategy (Don’t we know it).
Other approaches such as the “I’ve always
wondered how your hair would look on top
of your head” or the “Do you mind if I park
my chewing-gum behind your ear” may be
used and will be found effective.
If you need a special approach for a spe
cial girl just be sure to call on us. We will be
glad to help you out. Just remember, if you
ever get in a situation where you don’t know
what to do, be sure to call us right up, and
we will be glad to come right over and help
you out with your problem.
—Dorothy Dix Hill.