Newspapers / Zion’s Landmarks (Wilson, N.C.) / Nov. 1, 1869, edition 1 / Page 1
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DEVOTED TO THE DEFENSE OF THE FFllMITIVE BAPTISTS. “TO THIT! T,.A.VT TO THE] TDESTIOVIOHY:” V OLUMS 'Wilson, Noktii -G.^rolina, Hovember 1, 1869. Number 2 o Oo liumble myself Jovverthan'tlie earth, but I was afraid'to move from vrhere 1 was, tor it seeaied to’me'hhat the devil would lay hold of me every moment.; so I past through’ the right, ar.d about the time the day broke I got up and opened the door and felt glad to ■see the light of one more day, but did not feel like I could live; I lay dowui on the side of the bed, and it did not seem like I lay more taan Ave minutes, v/he- tlierl’wa.s asleep or not I cannot say, and I saw a man standing on Edgkoombe County, N. C., \ ■'Beptember 2'3, I8b9. ^ My Dearly Beloved Brothers and Bisters:—It is through much weak ness that I make the attempt to write, but it feels like it is impress^ get it my ed on my mind and I cen’t olT, for I have tried with all might. So, with the help of God, I will try to tell you what I hope the Lord lias do’ue for my poor soul. The feeling first came on me that I liad. to die, and wliat to do I did not know, for I felt like I wanted to do sornethin.g to appease the wrath of a sovereign G-od, and it came into my mind to try to recom- })ense evil tvith good. I worked at that with all mv might, and I could every ciuuice ... —... thought no human eye O got. when I could see me, I was on my knees, trying to pray, and all that'I could say was, ‘^'God be merciful tcrnle a sinner.’’ ^ worked on in that way sometime thought I was getting along * ■ and and was received trad baptised., on Sunday. For the first four days the cares of this world and the ( temptations of Satan appeared to be banished from my mind, and singing and,praising God was my employ, and after that doubts and fears arose, and I began to think that I was deceived and had de ceived the rest, and by communion time I felt like I could not hear to partake of it, and had like not to, for it felt like I was sinning in every thii saw the blood running down from the cross, and I can tell you, my brothers and sisters, it was a piti ful sight to me. Brothers and sis ters, alter writing what I have, -I iam in a cold and lifeless state, and fear I am deceived, for when I would do good evil is present with me. So you tlrat love the Lord in deed, tell me is it thus with you ? Brothers and ’sisters, pray for me, that my faith fail not, nor m'y can dle go out by night. Yours truly, a poor and afflicted very ♦well. There was a day ap- po-inted for Elder Cooper to preach at Pleasant Hill, and I went to hear hkn. As soon as he commenced preaching, my mind was tor n all to pieces, for I never had such a feeling in all my life j ift felt to me that nearly every word reached my very heart ; I got so bad off that I felt-like I could not bear it ; hut I thought when I got away from there that feeling would leave me ; hut, blessed be God, instead of get ting better I got worse, for when I got home I could not eat, and wl'.en night came it felt to me that I could not beardo laydown; I told my iiushand nothing of my feelings ; after lying down I could not rest, so-I set upon the bed near ly all night, -and it was a night long to he remembered by me, for it felt to me that every sin that I ever committed was brougUt plain be fore me ; and I can tell you ail, that I never bad-such a keeling before uor since, for I was all over in a a^ain to o the hearth, and he was lookina: right’straiglit at me, and I thought it was the Lord ; I rose on my feet and raised my hands above my head and cried outand said, “Lord, what sha.ll I do?” file’Taid, “Fear not.”' I opened my eyes and saw no one, hut it felt to me like that burden was gone impart. I went on so awhile, and then I got so bad off in my feelings again that I could | to my not sleep, and I \va« lyi t- night, distressed in my mind, when these words came to me : “If jmu believe with all your heart you shall be saved.” And I can say with truth, there was a great change-in my feeling.s, for I felt rffoiced in Spirit, and my whole desire was Christian company and to hear preaching. But I did not feel as good as they looked to be, still I craved their company. I went to meeting one Saturday and there was a young lady reflated what the Lord had done for her, and it brought such a feeling on me that I could hardly keep my s.eat. I went home with a burden on my mind and that so heavy, that I said in my heart, if the Lord spared me to see the next meeting that I would go, and so I did. After preaching they held conference, and I thought I would go'forward, hut it appeared to me that there wras two things had hold of me, and one pulled there and the other pulled me hack; so I kept my-seat until they were about to break up, when I ventured forward ■ and related what I hope sister. i hope, SOCIETY MOOPJL I done. Before the time come commune, I dreamed one ni'flit that I was at tlie foot of aj . - hill, and there was a stream of wa-1 SnELBYTiLLE,BELTOKDCo.,TENN., ^ October 19th, 1869. te;; came out of that hill audit was so clear that I could see the bottom plain, and there came a man to me dre.ssed in a long whit and he took me by the turned me round and led me down that stream until the water canm breast, and then turned me garment, hand ar.d Bear Brethren:—It is for some cause or another that it has corao into my mind to write something for tho Lahdrnarks, though I hard- Iv know what course to pursue, as I never undertook such a thing be fore. Though if the Lord will, I ■* T -wi - - . T hack to the same place, and he asked me if I was satisfied, and 1 awoke. Although it was a dream, I think it gave me iiioro satisfac tion than anything I over dreamed, for it felt to me that I never should be afraid to partake of anything that the Lord had laid down here for his people to .go by. But God bless you all, I have found it an other way all along my journey, for I remember well that at one time, while I was meditating on the works of God, these words camo to me plain.: It is the Lord’s do- in.gs, and it is marvellous in our eyes,” and I think it is indeed.— My dearly beloved brothers and sisters, can it be possible that any one should see so much in slumbers and ways and yet be deceived.— Soniesay there is nothingin dreams, hut I think that old brother Law rence said in his writing that it mattered not hoV/ the deliverance came, asleep or awake. One more thing I will mention. I saw in a dream the*place where the Lord was crucified ; I saw the cross and xnti’fcwiii ’Ey i am no- L'emhle. T felt like A wanted tc Ube-LordBiad.done for my poor S(!>ul, thing, ainl Vi.thout the help of tHo ijord I cannot move my pen along, and I am dependent on my heaven ly Master for sustenance of this natural body, and especially so for all Spiritual hles.sings. I thought of nothing of the kind until IIc saw proper to open the eyes of my understanding, then I began to beg for sustenance of Him and everlast ing life. For, poor mortal that I am, lie caused me to see v.flio I had to look to. Tlyjn my mind began to travel—Lord what wilt thox: have me to do?” I tried all in iny power and could do nothing. I have left my bed to’seek some se cret place and lonesome, when man knew nothing about it, but still no place would give my poor soul ease or rest until at the unexpected and appointed time, I was forced by His love and power, to let loose the things of this v/orld. Then, O my brethren, H past through death, ' and I do believe if there ever was a time when I loved Christ and Hi.- people, then that was the time.— There 'Was a space of time when I Ahehody ef Jesus laid down,-and-I .’waa killed,‘if I ever was, that H
Zion’s Landmarks (Wilson, N.C.)
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Nov. 1, 1869, edition 1
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