36
lion’s liandmarks.
COMMUNICATED.
MAYSVILLE, )
Urkeke Co.ukty, N. C., >
Mftj- 26;th, 1873. J
Dfar JivotAer Gold:—
li iyis been oil my mind for three
rears to write a part of what I hope
the Ijord has done for me. I will
not say all that he has done, for I
never shall be able to express it, much
less to pen it down with ink. It is
tlie liord’s will for me to be afflicted
—^and, oh! how just it is, and being
almost lame in my left hand, to
day it came to me very forcibly that I
could write with my right hand.—
And so, while trying to look to the
Lord to be my guide, I will endeav
or ta follow the impressions. I lived
to. be twenty years of age, which
brought it to the date 18G8—think
ing all that tiwie, and^would often re
mark, that when I died I should be
at rest-—not caring anything at all
ibr religion,, for I was not partial to
any but disdained the Okl Baptist
dordi'inC'above any other, and said
often that I would like their preach
ing better if they would leave out the
experiences, I must write- as my
mind runs—right here comes in a
text and I can’t get aroundt it. Paul
says ill his writings to- the Corinthi-
tiiis, ‘‘For after that in the wisdom of
God, the W'orld by wisdom knew not
God—it jileased God by the foolish
ness of preaching to save, them that
believe.” In the Fall of ’ 69 along
came two Old Baptists and preached
i^lie. Meadow—Elders Hall and
•Uoore. My sister was on a visit to
see me, and not as 1 cared anything
about jireaching 1 said to her, let’s go
to church that day, perhaps We would
these thing* be! and it put me to
thinking of things that I had never
thought of before. I belitve they
were men called and sent of God. I
felt that a change must take place or
I could not enter the kingdom of
hca\eu. I did not know that either
one of these texts was scripture, only
by hearing tlicm repeat it, for I had
never read the Bible but very little,
and it wa.s a sealed and uninteresting
book io me. Now, brother Hall
told his hearers to read for them
selves, and those that had eyes to sec
and hearts to understand would
know whether he was telling the
truth or not. It was then that I
thought that if I could only be for
given for what I had done I could
live a perfect and a holy life, that I
would read the Bible, hvmns
quit joking, laughing, dancing, sing-
on earth have you starteil ? My re
ply was : Oh, Mrs. , I have
started to see Dr. to .see if
he
ing worldly songs, and then God
would love me. But, oh! my trou
bles grew W'orse insteatl of better. It
seemed to me that I was badly afflict
ed. It seemed to me for about two
months that I should choke to death
and sink under the heavy weight that
I wtu^ laboring under. Oh, the trou
ble that I was in! I w'ould try to
pray but all seemed to do no good.—
1 thought that I was going deranged
and tvould die. I knew I was in a
I tried to pass it him as a Savior
heavier
it was. I finally came to the
conclusion that I had the heart dis
ease and told my companion that I
strange condition.
off, but the more I tried th
was not long;
o
for
this world, tLatjrjver s
can’t relieve me of this heaviness .and
choking ! Said she; You mxal not
go for he can't do you any good—and
her words wak«l mo up. I called
my husband and told him that I
should not go to see the phy.sician
that day for he could not do me anv
good. I did not go and so I have
never been troubled with that chok
ing since—but the pressure at heart
still remained. Well I began to
think by this time that it must be the
Ivord’s work with me, and I was
more miserable than ever for every
thing seemed to condemn me. 1
tried to plead for mercy, till at length
in February, 1870, I was brought to
the stand-still place at the end of the
law. While in my room alone it
seemed to me that ail the sins I ever
committed came before me and it was
there I felt that I had blasphemed
against the; Holy Gho.stin sluring the
Old Primitive Baptists. And, oh,
dear reader, wlio ever you may lx*,
stop and think for a moment who is
your keeper—it is God. If I am
not deceived it wius here that I felt
that he was Ixird of iord.s and Kin'i"
ot kings. Oh ! what a trying time it
wa.s with me. It was here I viewed
■but not for me.—
My cry had been, Ford, what shall I
do ? It was hero I was stripped of
my own dependence and done all that
I could do and no good thing had I
one.
OhJ dear
brothers and
see Mu and other friends ! Well, we
went in the Iiou.se and hciard one ser
mon, and about half of Elder Hall’s
when we left the hou.se, for I could
not believe that it was the truth, for
they went on to. tell how a, Christian
would feel, and I verily thought
^vus one, and I knew that I had nev
er had any such, feolingS:as^tliey spoke
ol. But while-we were sitting out at
vnie corner of the house talking, out
came d lady crying and looked to me
like she was in more distress, tharr she
-:ould bear. It was then that I
fleat^i was staieingme in the facer HeT^isters, i.s tins not a trying time with a
wanted to go for the doctor, I told j ])oor justly condemned sinner to feel
him tiiat my de.sire was to sleep. T | that 'he lias not a friend on earth
thought I was jrast all hope, but ho ^ nor in heaven, and that you arc for-
without my knowledge went to one of .saken by all livin^ creatures? It
the best physicians and stated
my
wa:
here tliat J said : Oh, wretcFed
case, and he told him to cany me to | sinner that lam! who shall deliver
-see him. He came home and to'd'me from this body of death? 1 felt
mo what heliad done and I agreial to
go, and the night before we
were to
start next morning-
o
Thought that if I was only back
in
(he hou.se that I would be glad. But
oh! it wastoOi late^ for the sermon
was near to, am end and so I went
liome having different thoughts from
what I had ever had before, and
tliought I would go next day to
White-()ak—not to, see be seen
as I had,' done; but to-, try anil under-
.-,taud the preaching—ami so-it was, I
went, and; Elder Moore v/as- nearly
Through preaching, but liis- text was
I his ; ‘ 1 he .Ixird hath done great
ihiiigs for us whereof we are glad”—
and he preached; the Christian Trav
el and 1 believe it was true. Eider
Hall made the closing remarks
and said he did not feel much like
lalkinglong, but there was a text on
l|i> injnd and it wa.s this ; e must
be born again.” But I was likei
Vicodyumis, I thought, hpw could*
behold I had a
dream and it wa.s this : I thought I
svas in my old neighborhood in the
woods where I have, often roimed and
plucked the flowers of tlie jessamines
and lilies, and wa,s in the thickest
place I ever saw, and it was as dark
as mid-night, and while there alone I
heard a noi.se behind me, and I look
ed, and behold there was one of the
most terrible-looking creatures lever
beheld, and of course I tried to get
out, tliG briers and bushes would
catch at my dres.s, and the terrible
monster kept after me untiiB I came
to a very small stream and ther-e I
j that he had all power and that none
I could hinder him, he was able to de-
j !i\'cr nu‘, but I tliought that I had
I committed the unpardonable sin.—
I Oh ! I had meddled vrith (iod’s word
I when it did not concern me, and oh,
dear reader ! I will say to you to-day
it vou don’t know anything about
God s word, it he has never revealed
himself to you, you had better not
trifle. For the word was made flesh
and dwelt among us,and we beheld his
glory, the glory as of the only begot
ten of the Father, full ol grace and
truth—1 John, 1: 14. I thought it
was just in God to send my soul to
destruction. The breatbing-s of my
soul were—Father, I have sinned, but
tion.s you «pc fit to send upon in« tor
the sake of being crownol with swi
everlasting crown. I remaiiusl i>s
this eondition from about tiie hour
4 P. M., until the hour of 10 A. M.,
without God or hope—when lo I
these words rushed through rnv mind::
Blc-ssed are they which do hunger and
thirst after righteou.snes for they .shall
be filled. In a moment I thought if
ever a poor sinner huugeml anl
thirsted it was I. It ssemeci to re
lieve me for a short time luad then
here came my troubles again. I
thought it wa-1 all imaginary feelings,
but my desire wa.s to go to preaching
and hear them talk Well, Ifollow-
ed ex'ety impression ,aud 1
found I could witness with them and
they with me. but mr distnsss wa.s-
•still great which it seemal that I had
thought that none of them) had.—
Oh, it appeared that my easi? wa.s an
outside one, and so I wa.s brought
along seemingly having more thoughts
and crosses than any one else, unt-iJ
May following, when I believe, and
hope that the Lord sent one of hi.-
cho.sen vessels around again which
■wa.s A. N. Hall. I then thought it
O
was one of |he greatest .sermons 1 eve?*
heard delivered. The text was this :
And all thy children shall be taught
ot the Lord, and great shall be the-
peace of thy children. It soenux!
that he told me of every thought I
had ever bad—nothing was left out.
It was then 1 could lay hold of the
promises and exclaim with one ot old,
that tlse Lord hath done great thing.s
for iis whereof we aTt glaif. The-
Ijord is my helper and 1 will not '
fear. I went home rejoicing within
myself, saying: Bless the L.>nl, oh,
my soul ! Yc.s, he tiiund me in a-
dtsert land, dead in sin in the wilder
ness and miry clay. And I hope he
has carried me about in patirs not
known, and in.structed and led
me
forth by the right way. Up to
tiii.s
time I tried to keep all my though;.*
and distres.scs hid, even fi-om my hu.—
band, for he has often asked me wlnic
wa.s the matter when I would bo
:Vnd
groaning and sighing over
sin.
my answer would be—nothing! It
wa.s then I did not care, for I wanted
everybody to know my feelings. It
was then I felt happy and wanttxl
depart from this world of sin and
witli Jesus, who knew no sin.
to
be
ir.
wa.s then 1 could sing the new son"
O
saw a. light path which was about a j oh ! forgive Lord, have mercy on me,
half mile long, and at the end of it
was a-laige lioiLse where one of my
old friends lived, and when I stepped
acro,ss the stream I was in that nar
row path, though it looked dark all
around, that path was light, and that
frightful being followed me to the
■ffream and no further, ami I ran to
the end of the path which lead to the
hou.xe, and there sat tlie lord and
lady looking as harmless as doves,
and the lady looked upon me with
an eye of pity, and exclaimeil: Where
save or I perish. Yes, I prayed to
God to give me a praying spirit. I
saw without God I could do nothing.
Right here a new love sprang up
within me toward Primitive Baptists.
Oh ! how I wanted to see and hear
them relate their e.x[>erience—but it
•seemed that I was in a distant land-
hut I begged the Lord to enable me to
tru.st in him,, f was made to say,
not my wilLlic done—but tMne, oh,!;
God. Yes, I was made to say, Lord
fam willing to suffer all the, afflife-
“Jerusalem, my happy home,”—oh,
how I long for tluHT. Mery soon the
doubts ami fears began to arise, for 1
saw I could not live the life I want
ed to, for when I would do good evil
was present—though I was led along
through the Summer very well satis
fied, sometimes thinking I wanted to
be baptized—and in October I was
in a dark room one night and saw the.
moon shine and thought it was the
brightest I ever .saw, and in the
twinkling of an eye .something seemed
to whisper in my ear with force, I^et
your light so- shine! Here I was
aroascdiagaiu^in a few, minutes, I
thought it was my duty to-be baptiz-,
ed,. AJi! here qiy troubles