Zion’s Ijaiidinarks.
3r
"! IT
though no ff>ar of torment uas
faffoi'o mr ev(«, but I ■was afniid I
was deceived and would hear no fruit,
nml the church would not receive
such a.sinner as I felt mjself to be.—
I wm willing to live and die with
them ifthej' only would rc'ceivc me.
1 was afraid 1 had not the fruit of
rcfx'utance, and unexpec tedly it .seems,
these words came from behind me
with great weight: Come, ye blessed
of my Father, inherit the kingdom
prepared for you from the founda
tion ot the world. These words
seemed to console me very much and
J began to promise myself that I
would go and tell the church ray
feelings and they could take me in or
throw me asidcj and so I travelrxl
along up and down liill until Atay,
1871, trying, during that time, to
comply with the duty that I hope
the Ixird iiad impressed upon my
miirl. Some traveling Alinisters,
iiall and Mooie, had appointments
to preach at the Meadow on tiie 10th
of that month. I thought I Avanted
brodier Hail to baptize me, and I
])rayed to the Lord that if I was a
tit subject for baptism that he would
cnalile me to go forward that day—
aud oil the filch of that month I was
stretched upon the bed of affliction. If
ever I prayed it was then—to the
Lord to spare me until the day ar
rived and I would go, for I wanted
to comply with tlie ordinance of bap
tism. Tiie chilis h'.ft me before
preaching on the next day, though 1
was very feeble indeed but felt like
the water "vvouhl cure me, and so I
was permitted of the Lord to go to
meeting as i requested, and when I
got there brother Pitt met me and
Ixidly written and broken sentences
j are worthy a place in your valuable
I>aper, after oorreeting mistakes, you
can publish it if you think proper—
if not you c:an away with it and all
will be well with me. I will close
was miserable both day and night
but could find no rest to my poor
soul. I felt that I would try to
pray if 1 never obtained pardon. I
then felt that 1 Ava.s depending upon
the Lord aud was willing for him to
these remarks by saying I believe it I decide my case. I cannot tell w'licn
is by grace ye are saved through I nor how it came. It seemed that I
faith, and that not of yourselves, it is | eared for nothing that l)clongcd to
the gift of God : not of works lest any | this world but just wanted to find
man should boast, Eph. 2: 8, 9.—
And whether I be an heir of heaven
or not I cannot tell. I do believe the
jreat I AAI hivs loved his [)cople
with an everlasting love, therefore
with loving kindness has he drawn
them.
Brother Gold, and to all the dear
Saints of God, pray for me that I
may grow in grace, and that I may
lie found at the true post on all occa
sions—and I (»n sav
With the Apostle Paul,
If a ChrJHtian the leoat of all.
Eannik V. Fiklds.
sttid that brother Hall would not be
there for Jie was very sick. And, oh*
my soul! it apjtearcd that here I re
ceived the d«itli-like wound again,
tor 1 knew wliar, J had promised the
Lord—but 1 went on in the house
it'cling, not my will be clone—but
thine. And soon after I took mv
seat I was made M'illing for any one
of the Ministers in the faith, that
ivcJuld condescend, to plunge a.s
un
worthy abeintrasi was,and Pwould be
satisfied.
& *
and aftei‘
services the door
was opened and I went forward feel
ing as poor and unworthy as ever I
shall. I scarcely knew what I said
or how 1 did. I was received and
baptized tliat evening by Elder Jesse
Baker and I never have regretted my
baptism, and 1 do believe if I had not
>ompIied that day, that I never
would have had the opportunity any
more. Oh ! brethren and sisters I
have many doubts and fears, troubles
and trials, to contend with. Pray for
me for I sometimes think I am a
]X)or deceived creature—butonethino-
I do know that where I was blind I
now see, and what I once hated I now
love. I think if ever I was convict
ed and delivered of sin the Lord did
it under Fjlder’ Hall’s preaching.—
For it, is. not ye that s{icak, but
the Spirit of your Father, which
sfieaketh in yon. Matt. 10:
Brother Gold, if you think, these
Louisbukg, C., j
September 27th, 1873. /
My Dear Brother in Christ:—
In compliance with your request I
will endeivvor to write you a portion
of ray experience, but, as I have such
a Ilmite] edueatiou and feeling ray
unworthincss so sensibly, I deem it
almost a task, but 1 \>ill proceed.—
When I was merely a girl the Alis-
slonaries held a protracted meeting in
the neighborhood. I was one of its
attendants. Aly brother had just
died and it was the first trouble tlj^it
I had ever seehf^ 1 thought I want
ed to do good if I could. They
prenehed the doctrine that I could do
something to work myself in the
Lord’s favor, and I thought if I could
I was willing. I went to the mourn
er’s bench wliore they say is the
place to find Jesus, I remained there
i two or three days when I became
somewhat revived in ray feelings
while they were singing—took this
for religion and arose as a convert.—
But when the meeting was over and
mv troubles wore off about mv broth-
er, ray religion failed. Only when I
would go to their meetings I would
become somewhat revived. About
twelve years ago it seemed to be my
desire that the Lord would show me
whether I was deceived or not. I
went on in this way for about five
years when I felt that the Imrdshow-
cd me that I was deceived. One
night after I had retired to rest I
found myself sitting up in bed. It
a{)pcared to mo that I w:is deceived.
This troubled me very badly for two
or three days, but I tried to put it off
and went on in this way for two
years trying to get clear of my trou
bles, but it would often come to me—
you are dcceivai. I could' not get
clear of it. It cAine to me one day
with a heavy burden that the world
was going to be to an end and that I
should be destroyed. After that it
appeared to me that I bad joined
the church,, in which I sinned against
God aud he would never forgive me.
This rendfcretl me very unhappy; I
would walk.tp try to find relief. T
panlon from the I^ord. I went on
in this way for some time, I cannot
tell how long, until one Saturd:iy
while attending to my t;\ble, I seemed
to be in a great hurry to go into the
house to get my Bible to try to read
some te see if I could not find relief,
but whether I openci the Bible or
not I cannot tell. There appeared a
light before me that I had never seen
before. I went to the door, overytliing
seemed changed tioai what it had ;
been. It seemed that I was drawn
out in love toward the Old Baptists.
I felt like I loved everybody and
wanted them to feel as I did. i had
a desire to hear these words :
How happy are tliey
Who, their Savior obey.
So I calletl my two oldest children in
the house and sung the song through.
I wanted to talk with the Old Bap
tists and be baptized if thty could re
ceive me, but in a short time i be
gan to fear that i was deceived again.
I thought if I had been changetl i
would feel more happy than i did.—
I wantel my name taken from among
the Missionaries. I thought r would
ji^andvalipnt it, so* Sundi^y
I told him that i wanted my
name taken from among them. He
said that he reckoned tliat it was my
mind and if he was in my place he
would not. So I went on in this
way until last Spring when all their
preaching appeared to be taken from
me, it did not corraspond with my
feeli ngs, it was not any consolation to
me at all. i then concluded that
probably it was alt in me, that it was
Satan working with me. i had nev
er been changed and that was the
reason that it was so dark to me.—
About four months ago it came te me
as though some one had spoken to me
that I was not in any church nor ev
er had been baptized, i was then
made willing to forsiikc all others for
Clirist, and to do whatever he com
manded me So, on Ifriday, before
the third Sunday in August, i offered
to the Church at Peach Tree, wtis re
ceived and baptized on the Sunday
following by Elder R. Tucker, where
I feel to be at home. Please excuse*
all rnistakt“s of
Your unworthy sister,
Julia A. CopruDOE.
Alit. Gold:—I have concluded, to
try in my weakness, to give you a
short sketch of my travels from na
ture’s darkness into the marvelous
light of a childiof gratx?, if not de
ceived. I, was brought up from a
child.to,live' a moral life, i. was
taught to.read, the Bible as soon, i
could readiat all, andicjwriedfhe Tes-
tameut to school as.ai reading book.
I learned the Lord’s Prayer and the
Ten Commandments, and i reckon l
observed them nearly as far as it lies
in one’s power to do. i learncl to
fear to disobey, knowing and feeling
that there Was a God above who
would reward the good and punish
the wicked who transgressetl liLs holy
laws—this made me more careful, i
lived in this way until the com-
nicncement of the war, i haI some
cousins in the army who wrote to us
to pray for them. As a request from
them I thought i would try, but i
suppose it was more to preserve our
lives than anything else, i kept it
up though I did not want any one to
see me.^ i thought too that i could
not pray unless i kneeled down, i
would read nearly every kind of a
religious book—and the Bible very
often. I believel everything that
was written within, that Christ rame*
into the world to save sinnera, though
I could claim no just cause why ho
would save me. i never felt to be a
great sinner, still i knew that i had
never done any good deed to merit
salvation, and i re;id froivi liLv,
holy book—“Ye mast be l)oni agjiin?”
—which rested with considerable
foi-ceon my mind a short time before
I hope that the Lord showel mo what
was contained'in those words, i was
about to despair, asi thought, of hope
lor I had uoue then of myself, but
thought I would ask, tJie Ix)rcl again
to make me a Christians,. to- create
me anew, which i could not then un
derstand. I had no sooner asked
than I felt to receive an answer.
my surprise i stopped to wonder at,
myself. The change that had, come
over mo, though I had never felt any
particular burden before—l felt so-
raueh relieved. 2 was then enabled
to see the cross of Calvary so plain,,
and felt the relief of my burden, that
it was gone. Aly heart was so drawn
out in love to Inm i did not c:ire to
stay any longer, but rather desired to
go then while i felt to have no sin,,
for I was conscious i could not, liv,e in,
this world without sin—but li w;is
reconciled to his will—for i did not
feel that the gates of hell could pi*e-
vail against roe,,for undernealh me-
was his everlasting arm—i could,
then claim him as my Savior—-
“Who p,ived me from my lost estate, ,
lii-s loving kindness, Oli! liow, great.”^'
It waS'On a beautiful Sabbath eve--
ning, the 12th of April,,in ’G3j never
to>be forgotten by your unworthy
writer, i first thought i would, not
tell it, I thought i would try, to show
the way to those i loved (i. i.vas at
home) hut have never boon: able, i
have often wished that l was a mem
ber of the Primitive Baptist Church,,
but under tlie circumstances i have-
never joined them, i-feel to-day, as-
Ruth said : “Thy God is my God;’,’
Air. Gold, 1 hav,e written, this f!)r
your own perusal^ (as you asked mo,)
you may do with*it as you think l)e.st
and rest assiuwi.that i am content.
Excuse* mistakes and mLsappliel
sentencasj.and if you publish tins cor
rect them.
Yours in hope of eternal life,
A.VANDA L. DoOGErW,