Newspapers / Zion’s Landmarks (Wilson, N.C.) / March 15, 1874, edition 1 / Page 3
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Zion's Landmarks. mm. (i.rn'wmriTi wmi-ii'win'rnn'H-irf to be one, ami I -am afraid Yes, I now belies'e that it was need- j went on hoiire an did not si)t;ak of ♦■hat I sli'il! comniit sin in trying to tei! voii or any other ehristiaii what ] have jtassoii tlu’oiigh, ^-md wliat i ho';e the oin'istiau's God has done :^4>r rny poor soid. I l»e!i eve if the ever been ctmi- woi'k of graoe has in niv s(;u! it was when J. vras twelve grow'5? ffdlvs was a ehild. Before I years oh, i J irse to bear »ing liva'ins aiti wiien they Would sing ai>o«t the deadi of Jesus and 3il)‘,)Ut liis woKiulcd Side I would foc- ^oc h!1 ekiidisii puivs iUiil sit and fill for him to die but I could not'my joy to any body, I stayed at believe it until I felt the need of a home a few days and thoti went to : Savior, if ever have. I would often j see this san\e lady again. I had aj fcid very sad and itmigine that [ was i great desire to talk to her nnd tell ; forsaken by (dod and man, but while j he^' wliat t’XMibles 1 had parsed I I in this awful eemdition I had ! through. I told her of some of m v a that 1 t;anuot forget, i i troubles and some of my joys. J did iisrcit at tiien*. i do now reaieinoer Words tiiat- i ito.’ird sung before i. d,i;id icarned, a letter in mv • i ’ ‘3!i fiiui uie.uUon thing's 'Ksn niv iiian ’vet mentiimedo A? book. I re-okiM ,*ome wiii dtuiut this hut 1 know it is gitoii ti'iuii. i must pass f.har are imire fi.l.xv ] bg.ve i grew in age 1 ai.-o grew sng >ui alter a while 1 ■iriouglii 1 would try t« get religion. »l wnald iieiir t)iher fblk^ feiiking labou! geitiiig religion and i tWugnc if oiht'i’s eniiei | et it tnere wofeid iw Rome ehmiee for mo Jearned son; get it ton. iiitle prayers and wouni tktfight 5 saw the Sa^-ior stiinding ■f5,pon a U’afetiful hi!! and white fowls ytere comiiyg to him from all parts of the earth. That nais the greati>stand that I ever saw. It prettiest sight iTOt try to tell her all, and she said she thought I was a ehristiau. iint, by tins time I Imd so many doubts i was afraid timt I was deieivtyl and also had deeoivi^'l this lady trieiid was made plain to me timt it was the i wlm 1 believed '.vas a Christian. I Savior. called him and he turned ; lived in tliis eondition two years. I me Ids lie.wl and looked at me, though he did not speak, there was a deeri vallev lietwc’en me and ilsmi I (“..u!d not go to idin, 'and i believe that valley whs sin—iwnl we can not go to him until tin's volley of sin is removed from our hearts. This dream would cause Uftle eomfbrt to reach my troubled mind, but yet, I \ms afraid that I nev>r should ero.ss that dee]) valley *'»d lie with the 8a- vioi and his beloved flock that was •juiv tiicm night luni morniug ana ¥.ouiii read the Bible ami go to a’ound him. Yes, f would often think that 1 was forever lost arid could never have a hope of heaven. I traveled on in this wav a long tilin', k’’ eas-hing to foitli Ikiptist and MclH- j-Hwhaps ten years or more, and did odi.^t, imt still i sii-J umango in.til 'Onc {» uni feel any I was taken verv .sick., wiica mv elf and two tgiier ritikircu we.x; at v.'ork wbim i d and went m tiro hou.se atopp not sav a word to au'-body about mv fiK'ling;-;. 1 would often think that I Was dying and tiiink that my poor soul must sink in endless jrniiisiiment, but I struggled lurd to keep mv 8 soo.i got better but otiii 1 I'ould not | t ronbles hid from everybody, eomc «at. or Imok. { frit like i wa.s | of the family would often ask me d and wa>s not wortoy to | what was the matter witii me. and 1 ‘.0 ..yvioi.i^: .ait ur si na i v.'.c-ald »'-a>wer—Tate )iiei. ' words ihat ti.e i>a|>!i.st.s ; evening I was alone nuslitatiiig ami commeneed were m grieving ovi'r mv lost and ruined loved ehristians but I was afraid to let them know it. I would want to shake hands with them and be in company with them, bat I rsnild not feel worthy of their f’eMowsidp. I still fi’cl unwnrtliy of their fi'llowship, and I exiM'ct to fee! so ;,s long a:s 1 live, l)Ut if f can fee! tin' presence of .lesns in (he hour of death that is en.u.gli ■an'i ten thoirsand (inn's more tiian I deservt. i will pass on am! mention wliere I went to see a iadv tlrat had been verv sick and thonght that uiaoe, i he asi A hi'a liu'V «iv miniJ nearly ail tiie timi', esjrec- | state and imagined that I I'ould not .iuiiy wiien i wou d dnnk — i t!n lami lirinU.n,, try io cHL or was eating dmumu.oii to mv on n fe.t like .i RiOvii. i tiK'U began to ti'y to pt’iis for Bomi' ivlici’. fbe lamiiy thougnt 1 Was vei'v s.ca, ami i w-'s—sin '■n.m. iJut,! ant not try to tell any one im.v J ieit l)ceau.''C i 'tui not kno’iV wnat Wa.s (lie maUrT witii me—the worsi of all iiisea.'Wrs is tigiit emipared viiiU liiii, on (.".’erv point it ruge^, uut, ragiei most witlun—-'tnesy ate .u'ue words. 1 often rejtegt tjieiu. Auer a tew liar's tnjs great burden left me. ] dwu’t know i.mw it eaiue uoi' tio'.v it m i;t 1 felt mu--h lighter after fii.s tHirdea was ren o-ved from my jnimi, out still i would often think wliat i suffered while tliat benvv vveigilt was on my heart ami iiiimf. .1 knew that the weigiit ot' i»!n was tiiili iti my heart and could BOt siw any way to remove it. 1 was .»() prone to serve Satan aud to walk in tiie dark j>aths of sin. i ‘tsouhi not see liow [ eould ever be saved, i would read the Bible but eould not understand much of what i read about; when I read that Jesus wa.s taken and j)ut to death I \voul(.i think vrliat hard-hearted folks tliay were to betray and kili one wlieit he was so good and dear of all lire any longer, when these 'ivords came plan) upon my min i—lean up on the Loi'il and trust in his w'wj, ih it is all that is mpjire'l tor you to do. Thc*»e words revived my feel ings a little while, but 1 sooti Ix'gan to 'A’onder lxe.v J -ouid lean ujMm the Lot'd and 1 so full of sin, and tiiese 'A'ords were anplied to my lieart— dmjiits and fi'ars shab follow you to the grave butsiial! m>t enter there. little sparks iv's-ived ami stiengtheiied me some liul still my troubles were imt gone. I lives! in tliis condition until after ray last brother was married, W'lik'li \va^ riujr vears last Mareii. Soon after he was married i was walking along one ilav thinking how desolate I was left, I had no father nor mother, no single brother nor sister to associate witii, and imagined that I was with out guy friends on eartii or in heaven, and these Avords came with joy to my heart—-how can you call yourself friendless when God your friend is ever nigh? Oh ! ehristians, I tell you ail,[ did not feel friendle.ss tlien, I had been to see a lady wdio was a member of the Baptist ebureh and was on my way home when this great joy came to my henrt; I never liad .*5aid a rvord to her about my feel" gudt, Imt he had foken our sins upon ingB but I then wanted to go back himself aud had to die lor us Uiat ve tltrougl) hioi might have eternal life. aud tel! her Avliat great comfort and peace of mind I had found, but i ite was going to die—when I went in -he told me tiiat slie was getting bet- t(M' but she tinmght a few days Ix'flu'e that she was going to die ami had no hope ot heaven—-iicr words went fo mv heart. I thougiit what a dreadful thing It was to see di'atli staring us in the face and no lioi)?, of heaven to lean uixtu. I felt sorry ftr that ])onr woman and tiionglit inu 'lt aiioni the wor.B I lieard her «'«eak, an 1 'vi'ibl somerimes wonder ir^i .dibuld feel as she did wlieii deat!; comes t ' take me from time to eter nitv. But w !v*n f would ke wondi'r- ing h')w r should fe ■! when deatii eonnss I eoii'd often feel a little spark burning in mv iieart wh’cii would comfort me through all my doubts nni fears. 0''e idght I went to bed verv earlv ami tliought I would iiavo a deej) meditation on this wmnau and her feelings, and tliought that 1 wanted to have her feelings just enough to know how she diJ feel, in ■ [ belive 1 had her feelings to nass over m> like a idoud of (iarkness pi ness lasted two weeks before 1 had anv heavy doubts to ctvst me down. I bad Ikh.'ii sick a long time so th.'s; I could not work much, but while t wa. s so liajipy I thought that f wre- well ami strong, I could sing and work every day ; but, affrr these t\u, weeks of happiness jiasscd awa) dnulits began to come and I believe tliev will follow me to the grave. D('ar eh Idren of (rod, you must closely look this over and se*c if you can call it a Christian’s experiem e. i don’t think 1 have written more than haifofwhat I wanted to write Imt I will say a few' more word,- aud then close for 1 am afraid I have done wrongin writing any at all : i wan* von all to pniv for me. !f f an a saint surely lam the least ot all. Mr. Gold, r have had a great de- sin' to see a.ill talk with you a long time but i could not got tlie opnor- tunitv of (loing so, but al’ter a wliilc I Innl a gloiious ('onvcrsati.m witii vou in a dream. I trit'd to tell you some of triv troubles and .some of my iovs and vou told me that it was my diitv to be baptiznl. ! then told you that r had no w'av to go to t he water am! you told me that you would eara rv mi' all the way. Then I thought that vou were resting near me, ie, your shirt sleeves. I then arose on mv feet and told you that I would uotdc'uv (jod or Ghrl.st any more.— 1 then woki' ur> aud our eoaversa - tion was ended. I sometimes feel if. mv duiv to i)C liapti/.ed but 1 am so afraid 'hat 1 slmu'd lie aioing wiong, 1 su iK'tinie.s thin's Jiatif I am nor, fo-ced to the ell » :’ch, bv the mlg1it\- coming ami going as ipiiek as though: and then a gleaming view of heaven was placed before my Sjiiritnal e\'cs which eaii.sed mo to fee! ]»erfect!y happy. I was not asleep ut 'dl bur still mv lurart and mind were gone from everything In this sinful world, I could not see heaven plain like 1 wanted to see it, but it was made plain to me that death w.is the vale that was betw'een my spirit and the beauties of heaven, and after death allofthe.se beauties and joys would be open to ino. Readers, this was greater joy than [ ever can teel you anything abouf I can never tell anybody how' I felt. Oh! I w'as perfectly hap[iy until 1 arose and found that 1 w'as still in this world of .sin. I was happy after I aroused and found that I was yet in this world, but my iiapjiiness W'as not perfect then because i mu.st aud wouid have some of the care of the world on my raiud. Tii5.s hap- oowers above, 1 sha 1 stay away, if I do w'rong bv staving away and have to snifer for it I know' mv sitf- ti'fing will not last long, if heaven is mv home I shall soon lie tliere and then mv .suffering will come to an ('mi, and lu aveii wall .afford me sweet repose. I want to do mv duty if J r-mdd know wdiat it Is, but, oh! 1 do not kno'.v wliat to do. 1 hope you will ask the Ijord what I must do.— I must close—written bv E. N. i>n\K\VEi;r.. We fi'ol impres.sed w’ith tlie eon- vletion that the true jilace for .all -men people,as the w'riter ol theabovi.; (‘ommnnieation, or all tha* Inve » good hope through grace of everia.st- ing life, is in the hou'ieliold of faith, Wlien the Taird reveals himself to ooor sinners as their Savior they should go home to their house, (the cliurch) and tell their brethren whar,. great things tlie Lord lias done for them. Here they will find jieace and rest, fellow'ship and comfort, it- this duty, for there is great reward in keeping God’s eoimuandments.--- They will show' then that they are loving Christ, by keeping his .«aying>,. He says, “if ye k ve mo ye will keep my sayings.’^ Does one feel impressed with the beauty and holiness of l)a]>- tism, ami though be feels miworthy, vet docs he feel a desire to follow (jhrist here ? This ia good evidence that he should be baptiz'cd. 'I'iiis is the way the Loi’d impresses it on his cliildreu. Does one love the breth ren • then let him tell tliem of it, :uu! tiiev will show' him whether iliev love him or not. Does one fi'ei that lie would love to serve the, .Lmsi if he were worthy and kuewhow'; thy. is good evidence of sucii a cull.—]A.),
Zion’s Landmarks (Wilson, N.C.)
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March 15, 1874, edition 1
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