Newspapers / Zion’s Landmarks (Wilson, N.C.) / Dec. 15, 1874, edition 1 / Page 4
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Zion’s Landmarks: Wilson, N. C. Halbigii, N. C., September 1873. JUdcr P. D. Gold, Brethren, Sisters ana Friends I have been reqnested several times to write my experience and have it puldislied, and I have written twice Iwfore but it looked to me like it would be iu tlie v/ay of something better, so I have failed to do so; but, that does not relieve my mind. So, 1 think now, I will write again, and wliethcr it is published or not my mind will be easy. Jlrother Gold, I expect to be ieugthy to do my feelings justice, but I don’t expect to write often, so I ho})e you will bear with me. I was born in the year 1832 ; my hither died when I was about four years old; in a few years mother married again, and soon after, if I make no mistake, joined the Prim itive Baptist Church, and I think I can say, that she brought her chil- d'.en up in “the nurture ration of the Lord.’ She and ad mo- taught us. while very young, that there was a God that had all power, that created ;dl things and guarded all things, and that there was a heaven and hell, and that there were two kinds of ])eople—good and bad—and the a:ood ones went to heaven and the bad ones to hell. She described to Hs as tvell a.-3 she could the difference in the two places. So I feared hell and desired heaven and tried to live a.s I was taught, and feared that if I died as I was that I would go to hell, I lived in that same belief un til the vear 1858, I think. got I one of my eyes burned badly in the blacksmith shop wdieui was small and have been suffering with it ever since—sometimes it is better and sometimes worse. It lias been so bad tiiat I was compelled to be shut up in a dark room for days at a time and could not see those that ^Yaited on me. Oh, what I suffered, words cannot describe. I thought if I bad lived when Jesus was on earth I oonld have been cured instantly. I felt that I could see hew those did rejoice that were healed so suddenly, but I knew that i would have to svait for time and the skill of our earthly physicians. I left my moth er and father when about seventeen vear.s old. When I w'as with them I went to hoar the Primitive Baptists After they told me that God would not do anything for a sinner in the back of a meeting house that put me to w'atching preachers. As I told you in the start, mother told me that God was a God of ail power and had prov en to my young mind by the scrip tures—that he created all things out of nothing m six days. Parents, let me say to you right here, read the scriptures to your children, read to them how he crea ted the world. Sun, Moon and stars, how he .saved Koah and drowned the world, saved the children of Israel and drowned the Egyptians, and such other places where Ins pow er is .so plainly shown. These things will hare good effect and lasting im pressions, and it may be that your children can say. That the Armin- ian’s god is not a God of all power— he is not the God that I was taught to fear. When I was quite small mother around to wait on and sympathize with me. I had everything that I imxs tlv, but other denominations when I wished. After leaving them I lieard the Methodists and Mission aries. They told their congrega tions that they could get religion if they would use the means—they would tell what tiie means were. I will here state wluit they told me on one occasion at a (so-called) revival: They told me that if I remained at the back of the liouse I would not religion. Lp to that time I iuved to hoar some of them preach, f(U’ they told me I coiffd get religion, 50 I thought if 1 coujd get it before let brother and myself go with some of our old servants to a camp-meet ing. I think I can say| truthfully, they told the people if they would give them money enough they would evangelize tlie world—the money went to them from every direction. I think we got a war instead of a mellennium. Money that is given in such an unseriptural way I think will always turn out a curse to any people. After I left mother and father 1 fell in with very wild company an became very rude, though T. honor my parents. I did not par ticipate in out-breaking practices—I used^itty expressions and was a clown for the young people—still promising myself to get religion if I could, for I did not want to be dis honored. I did not want to get re ligion to get a wife as is often the case, but I aimed at a wife first and then religion. I thought if I became a professor before I got married my pleasures would be at an end. I would sympathize with the Old Baptists, I thought that they were Christians, and thought they did not see any pleasure in this world ; but, I felt sure tuat they would real ize all the happine.ss and pleasure that heaven contains for them. I married in my twenty-third year.— My fixing up for a family put me in debt. A short time after I got mar ried my eye inflamed again. As soon as I got so I could travel I started to Wilmington, K C., to have my eye operated on. I left home August 3rd 1867, and on tlie 4th the cars met with a severe accident and I came very near being killed. I -was taken back to Goldsboro, put in a small room in the hotel where I remained forty-two days—the small of the back and ether bones were fractured. I couid use I'ny hands and could turn my head a little to the right aud left. Tliere is no way to express what I s^ffe^■ed. But I was might!.- ly blessed in this awful condition.— As sooo, tile news reached hon^e I asked for. I will here state one try ing circumstance that befel me in a few minutes after the accident, and then pass on : There was a lady and her children in the same coach that I was in, returning trom Philadelphia, She had carried one of her sons there to have his eyes operated upon. She came to me with her little children and assisted me all she could. Her baby was about as large as one of my little twin girls that I left at home, (I never expected to see them any more). Oh ! how I felt wlieu this kind woman had to leave me! In a few hours she and her children bade me good-bye—she told me that she hated to leave me. I hope the Lord has visited lier for her kindness.— After I had been in my little room a few weeks I felt like I wanted to read the scriptures. I asked one of the citizens of the place that visited me to loan me a Testament—he did so. One Sunday morning I took my book and opened in John, I think, and commenced reading about the crucifixion of Christ. I closed the book, I could not read any more for a flow^ of tears. It seemed to me that he was in the piazza near the door of my room, though he was at one side of the door close to my head so that I could not see him with my natural eyes. His appearance on the cross and his mother sitting at hia^£g: Mary Magdalene ste'^^ fiddle and play some, I did so to satisfy her and test mvfeelino's. That would not do for my feelings at all. Something was upon me that was never upon me before. I had to hu mor my feelings or I was unable to suit them. I would often trespass on my feeling.9 to keep things from oth er eyes. I went on all tliat Sum mer, not knowing what was the mat ter with me. During that year I was taken down with typhoid fever and every one thought tliat I must die. One evening I felt con.sgdera- ble change in my feelings, I thought my time had come and I must go.—■ I had the servants called in, all that were about the yard, then called in those that were iu the house with me and told them all good-bye, I told my wife to leave the room, that I did not want her to see me die. I, after bidding them all a final farewell, as I thought, turned on my right side and said: “Lord, save my poor soul!” As I made that expression I saw mother pass a door. She said: “I hope he will, son !’’ Brethren, sisters and friends,for peo ple to be as low as I was, and to have seen and felt that they w'ere sinners, and knowing that the necessary change had not taken place and their feelings telling them that they ha to leave is more than I thint. man can describe, for it the feeling than it jn his ^natural mind. / tasj In 712 1 died id! would benight with me. Uiad many relations ^ud friends magination can sho face seemed to be in the direetT53 my house aud his right hand towards me. It w^as expected for me to die every day after the accident. I told them to take me home as 1 felt that it would be for my good, and I bore it with much fortitude. I was teken back to my nearest depot; .kept there seven days, aud then carried home, eight miles, on a spring wagon, drawn by liand. While at Goldsboro, my wife and one of our little twins were taken to see me, the other one of the twins v.-as left with her aunt. When I was carried in my house my dog soon found it out and came to me, he seemed very glad and stood some time looking at me, he seemed to sympathize with me, and then walk ed out. Oh, how humble I felt! I can’t express my tlianks to my friends and relatives. Time rolled on aud the next Spring found me able to hobble a little on crutche.s. After my strength in creased I commeucetl my former hab it of joking aud jesting. After so doing I would not feel exactly right about it, so I stopped it only when iu certain ciowds. I had been in the habit of playiqg the fiddle to get the baby to shisep, bat &und that the art of fiddling was a woi’se terror to my conscience than the erj^ of the baby to my ears. So I stopped that for a while but kept these tlxiugs to myself. The secret of the Lord is' with those that fear him. After a while my wife asked me ta string i»y t Pretty^soon my feelings cha? again and I turned over aud my fek" ver left me. Well, the next Spriii found me on my crutches again, as the weather grew warmer strength gradually increased. AP my strength increased so did my sins. I endeavored to foi'sake all my ter mer habits but that did not do any good. If I stayed in the hou.se and said or did nothing my feelings grew worse. Praying did not seem to do any good. I became to be mis erable in and out of company, and became to be afraid of my own seif and w'as afraid that I would lose con trol of myself and cut my throat.— While in that condition there came a passage of scripture in my mind. It is this : “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.’^ I still grew no better, but worse. When the Sun set that evening I did not expect to see it any more, and when it arose the next morning I did not expect to see it set .again. I started to the mill one day and went by my step father’s and told him that I did not feel like going and he said he would send for me. E stayed a while and brother went in and told him that I thought I was sick. He said to me : I think it strange that a man can’t tell when he is sick. I was suffering greatly in ray feelings and started for home. Just as i got to the gate- these words came to my mind : “Lo, I am with you aLway even unto eud of the wor-ld.’’ When, d gcA 1
Zion’s Landmarks (Wilson, N.C.)
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Dec. 15, 1874, edition 1
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