Newspapers / Zion’s Landmarks (Wilson, N.C.) / March 15, 1876, edition 1 / Page 4
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A -» J rr I 68 Zion’s Landmark : Wilson, N. C. Kelly's Station, Christian (bounty, Ky., December 2Gth, 1875. I have been requested by sever al of the brethren and sisters in the States of Geor{»ia and North Caroli na to write out my experience and call to the ministry and have it pub- iishetl in the Landmaek. In the first place 1 will say, that in me, that is in my flesh, dwells no good thing; and, if I have anything good in my soul, God, by his Spirit, hits put it there. I was born in Orange County, N. C., I think, in the year 1800. My father moved to Tennessee in 1087— that State at that time was almost a wilderness; the people were very wild, as it were: very little said about religion. I grew up to man hood in wickedness, committing every abomination but murder and theft. But, at times, 1 had serious thoughrs about my future state; yet, like all meii in a state of nature would say, I was as good as any of them. I con tinued in vice and folly until I mar ried my first wife, (I was then twenty- four years of age) when it pleased God, I hope, to convert her; she at tached herself to the Old Baptist Church, when it seemed that there was a line of distinction drawn be tween her and me. But, I alw.ays at tended meetings with her, for man ner’s sake, it was not for the love I had for religion. My brother, ac cording to the flesh, was pastor of the Church where my wife held her Bierabership. (Plis name was George Hern). I frequently told him he was a disgrace to the whole family. One day, about six months after my wife joined the Church, I went with her to meeting, and after preaching the Church held conference, and a man by the name of George Ely told his experience and was received.— About the time of dismission, these words of scripture were presented to my mind, as powerfully as if they had been spoken to me by some one, “Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.” It came with so much p /wer it seemed to awaken every sensation of my soul. I tried to examine my ease to see if I could meet him in peace. I saw that if I was called to meet him in the condition that I was then in my case would be a doubtful one. But, like all other men, I thought it my duty to prepare myself to meet him ; so, I tried to get religion, (as some call it) and tried to live a moral life, and prayed at least twice a day for a long time; but, still thought a change had to be wrought in me. 8o, one Sunday morning, I thought of a place where I intended to go and get religion ; (which was a common phrase) so in the evening I started to my appointed })lace with a full ex pectation of getting religion, and thought I would return with tlie glorious news to my wife that I was converted. But, to my sad surprise, l>efore T got half way to my appoint ed place, the first thing I knew I was standing in amazement; it looked t.> me that every sin I had committed was presented to my view; I saw very plainly that my outbrciikiiigs pro- (•eeded from my sinful heart, I w'ent i.u to the place where I started to; praying to God for mercy. From this time it looked to me that God could not save as vile a sinner as I was and be just, and I fully believed that he was a just God. After 1 had a view of the sinful nature of my heart my good works \t’ere all taken from me; and, when I would secrete myself and try to pray, many times I could not utter one word. It seemed that it was a sin for me to call the name of God with my sin- defiled lips. I was often afraid to close my eyes to sleep for fear I would wake up in a well-deserved hell. It appeared to me that I had no friend in heaven nor on earth.— I got in such a condition that my own dear wife seemed to be no com pany to me ; she always insisted that I should go to meeting with her. A bet, T do believe that my soul wsis strange preacher came to our neighbor hood and preached at night—I w-ent. When he closed his remarks I arose t(» my feet, but my limbs seemed par alyzed and I sank on my seat and could not move for some time. I then thought I would never go to preaching again. I shall never be able to tell what trouble I ex[>erien- ced for one month after that night.— I fully believed that my day of grace had passed. Shortly after this, my wife’s Church meeting commenced, and I thought I would never go to Church meeting again, for the preach ing seemed to condemn me ; but, to satisfy my wife I went. It was a beautiful day, nevertheless it seemed gloomy to me, and I felt worse,if pos sible, than a criminal under the gal lows I never expected to be permit-^ ted toVeturn home. I went in tli Meeting House and tried to get out of sight of as many as possible. I am not able to tell you what was preacli- ed : it seemed that the Lord would make an example ol me by opening the earth and swallowing me up. I shall never be able to tell my trou bles. I saw the justice of God in my condemnation. I prayed. Lord, save, I perish ! when I hope the Lord took away ray burden of sin and revealed the glorious plan of salvation untome. When this change took place it looked to me that every thing and everybody present under went a change—I thought they were the most beautiful people that I ever beheld. I never uttered a word but my very soul praised God. I now had faith to know ho'w* God could save as vile a sinner as I was, upon a principle of justice, through the me diation of his Son. This took place on the second Sunday in December, 1825, and, on the second Sunday in February, 1826, I was baptized at Rising River Church, Overton Co., Tenn., by my brother—George Hern.;. I have related to you my travails from nature to grace, (if not deceived,) in as shoi't a M'ay as I could. I will now try . to show you the cause of my trying to preach what I be lieve to be the gospel. When God revealed the plan of salvation to me the impre.ssion came with it to try to instruct and comfort others in the same state that I had been in, trving to show them the plan of redemption through Christ. When 1 was baptized, after I came out of the water, the first thing I knew 1 was talking to the people; what I said to them 1 know not; but, some of the Church con cluded that the Lord had called me to p'’each the gospel, and without consulting me, in two months after I became a member, they liberatel me to preach. This was more than 1 asked of them, for I thought it would be an impossibility for as ignoirant a man as I was to preach. At times passages of scripture would be pre sented to my mind and remain there for days, and look dark to me. At other times passages would open beautifully to my view. But, it seemed to me that God would not call such a man as I was when there were others in the Church better qual ified. I never did tell the Lord, in my mind, that I would not preach ; but oftentimes I have .said. Lord, I cannot, send some man that is better qualified than I am. I could see no qualification in my.self for that im portant duty. So, I never attempted to preach while I remained there. It pleased the Lord to leave me to the buffeting of Satan for my disobe dience. After this I sold out and left the State with the full determi nation of never attaching mvself to the Church again, or even let the people know that I wais an Old Bap tist. After I reached my destination I found no Old Baptists near where I stopped. My feelings can’t be de scribed, being surrounded by armini- aas. Probably I felt like Jonah did w'hile in the wdiale’s belly. The Lord sorely chasti.sed me. My ar- rnmiau friends seeing I w'as .so badly [/^tisfied told me there was an Old fist Church about( tAvelvc; miles So, I found out when they held their meetings and concluded to go and hear them and not let it be known that I w^as an Old Baptist. I went, and when I heard the truth preach ed I could not hide ray feelings any longer ; my looks showed that I re ceived the preaching with a feeling of joy; and, seeing that it took hold on me, the whole Church was affect ed. They asked me if I was an Old Baptist? I told them that I was an unworthy one. But, I did not tell them that I had done as Jonah did, left my native country to keep from preaching what I believed God bade me to preach. So, they desired that my wife and I should attend their next meeting, and then if we were satisfied that they were our people to connect ourselves with them—we did so. Then the impression to preach came with double weight. I had promised the Lord, in my dark ness, that if he would restore {reace to my troubled soul I would then make the attempt. The Church soon found ut that I had an impression, and 'they did all they could to encourage me to make the attempt. But, I bore tlie chastising rod of God . until it seemed to me that I would become insane. My wife seeing the trouble I was in became uneasy and said to me, Abner, what is the matter with you? I could not toll her. I re mained in this condition for several months before I undertook the task. But the Church, to encourage, liber ated me on Saturday of Conference, and ap{K)iuted a meeting that night in order for me to make my first at tempt. There were two old preach ers present when I preached my first sermon (if it may l)e called one.) I don’t suppose I talked more than twenty minutfs. They bid me God’s speed, and encouraged me to go on. So, I have been trying to preach the gos|)el from that time to the pre.sent. [ have often tried to stop. I am sure I would never have preached if I could have lived content without it But I believed that if I disobeyel God any longer he would make a public exam|)le of me. I have, in as short .sjmee as I could, tried to show you why I have been tryiirg to preach the gospel of my Savior. I will leave my brethren and .sisters to judge the dealings of God with me, both in my experi ence and call to the ministry. I will add no more at present, only I hope that I am a Friend to all lovers of truth, Abnee Heen, “Verily I Ray unto you, among them that are born of woman, tliere hath not risen a greater than John the Baptist: notwithstand ing, he that is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. And from the days of .John the B.aptist until now th« kingdom of heaven snIJ'ereth violence and the violent take it by force. For all the prophets and t he law prophesied until John-’’—Matt. 11 : 11, 12, 13. Elder J. E. Williams, of Afton, Ga., and sister LovetJ of Berrien Co., Ga., ha/e twice requested my views, through the L-ANDMAEK, on the above; beside another person, some time back, whose name is now forgot ten. Instead of giving my views, I might say Elder Williams .should teach me. But that is not the ques tion. Pie asks for my views, and I g^e them, ho.s'itating only'on th#* ground of fear of occu{)yingtoo much space in our paper, and may have be come worrying to many. In the first verse here the apostle, by contrasting John the Ba{)tist with the least in the kingdom of heaven, divides him from that kingdom in the sense in which it is here {fresent- ed. And to understand the phrase —“the kingdom of heaven”—in its varying sense, is neces.sary to a correct understanding of the above subject. For if the kingdom of heaven should always be one and the same in prin- ei{>le, meaning, application and posi tion, we have John the Baptist sepa rated from it by being contrasted as one out of it, with one w it. But this is not .so. The kingdom of heaven, as u.sed in the Testament, varies in all the above. And at that time of the above expression the kingdom of heaven, or what was synonymous in their minds, was claimed by the Jew.s as a nation ; had been preached by John the Ba{)tist and was at hahd to be {>roclaimed and astablished in spiritual power by Jesus Christ.— But the true, perfect kingdom of heav en, in deinonstiation of Spirit and of divine {)ower, was the kingdom just then, manifestly, transferred to Jesus to be established and set up foi'ever. And this was the kingdom referred to, the least in which was greater than John the Ba{>tist.' But the |)hrase—the kingdom of heaven—might be applied to a set form or sy.stem of laws andprinei{)les of heaven and its king, without the living s{)irit; and .so it was among the Jews. And even John the Bap tist raa^e no pretensions to claim the
Zion’s Landmarks (Wilson, N.C.)
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March 15, 1876, edition 1
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