Newspapers / The Chowan Herald (Edenton, … / May 28, 1987, edition 1 / Page 11
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Published In The Most Beautiful Little City On The North Carolina Coast SECTION B Edenton, North Carolina, Thursday, May 28, 1987 SECTION B Abused Wife Recounts A Life Of Fear And Despair Until Albemarle Hopeline Came To Her Rescue By JEANETTE WHITE Her days were a nightmare, but sleep brought a happy, recurring dream. “I would dream all the time about my daughter and me being alone away from (husband) and having peace. Now I have that,” Tammy (pseudonym) said. The battered wife is one of an average 140 people who call Albemarle Hopeline monthly, searching for information, refer rals or safety when lives are in real crisis. Tammy’s story is heard often by Hopeline workers. She dated her husband for two years before marriage and did not recognize his possessive and dictatorial per sona as signs of suppressed violence. ‘ The violence erupted two months after marriage when she slammed a door and was beaten because she “did not respect him”. The beatings and verbal abuse continued and while she was eight months pregnant, the couple argued about washing the car and he began beating her while driving down the road. At home, the husband dragged her out of the car and beat her to the ground. “I knew he was going to kick me in the stomach, so I doubled over to protect my babyl and he kept kicking me in the heacr until I stopped moving,” Tammy said. The overwhelming theme after each beating would be “It’s your fault. You’re making me do this”. The reasons for the abuse chang ed often. “He would tell me the house wasn’t clean when it would be im maculate. Then his meals would be cooked wrong or I would talk back to him. Every time I thought I had something down pat, his reasons would change,” she said. “I had to wait on my husband and if I forgot to ask if he wanted a Coke, I’d get a beating.” The scenario continued three years and Tammy left home four times, but each time a tearful pro mise would be made that it wouldn’t happen again, flowers and jewelry would be sent and the wife would relent. The final straw came when the husband slung their small daughter across a room, his first violence directed toward the child, and Tammy went to Hopeline. Albemarle Hopeline serves six counties (Chowan, Perquimans, Pasquotank, Camden, Currituck and Dare) with three fulltime workers and about 50 volunteers. The organization has a shelter, which can accommodate 12 women and children until per manent arrangements can be made. The organization provides emergency food and clothing, counseling, children’s programs and recreation, but most impor tantly, the workers build self esteem in the abused person. The abuser often is manipula tive and makes his/her victim lose self-esteem and feel worthless. “I felt like I was dirt and everything was my fault. The things that were strong in me were things he lacked. He tried to destroy them in me and that made him feel better about himself,” Tammy said. Hopeline’s role is to support the victim and offer whatever help is needed. Boy Scout Troop 164 l&tmNMKCMSWIt' • * ■ ■:■*> Pancakes & Sausage Benefit May 30, 1987 6:00 A.M. - 1:00 P.M. $3.00 PER PLATE EDENTON METHODIST CHURCH PROCEEDS TOWARD SUMMER CAMP EXPENSES The hometown advantage. We have it. When you put the power of Number 1 to work for you, you've got the hometown advantage. Give usa call. Put Number 1 to work for you; Qntuft. JTT 21 DOWD REAL ESTATE 201 S. Broad Street Edenton, N. C. 27932 (919) 482-4131 * WM7 Cwrtwy 21 Real Estate Corporation as trustee for (he NAF. % and - - trademarks of Century 21 Real Estate C orporation Equal Mousing Opportunity * EACH OFFICE IS INDEPENDENTLY OWNED AND OPERATED. Director Pat Kepler said, "We’re not out to separate families, but we are working for them to be safe..” “Our society is so violent and sees this as no big deal, but women and children are still be ing victimized. .Men and women have to decide that we are going to change this. .Some part of our society still thinks women and children ask for it and think it’s o.k. to victimize these people, but it’s not o.k.,” said Pat Symons, sexual assault educator and vic tim advocate for Hopeline. The average abused spouse will leave home five or six times before realizing most abuse will not end. With the realization may come a decision to leave per manently. The abused spouse often con tinues the trend after seeing her mother beaten by her father but about three women come to Hopeline each month when they realize changes must be made to protect themselves from violence. Since Hopeline has no legal authority, reports are made to social services departments and may be given to the district at torney for prosecution. Ms. Kepler said, “We have very poor services here for victims of assault and child sexual abuse. .We are hoping and work ing for more joint effort between every agency involved to promote better service, especially to children who may be involved.” In Tammy’s case, hopeline gave her a home for two months, provided counseling for the mother and daughter and gave her support on the first trip to court. Social services provided funds for electricity to her apartment, paid rent and enrolled her for food Support Group Meeting Slated The Alzheimer’s Disease Fami ly Support Group will meet Thurs day, May 28 (tonight), at 7:30 p.m. at Winslow Memorial Home, Inc., 1700 West Ehringhaus Street, Elizabeth City. Discussion topics for the evening will be caring for the Alzheimer-stricken patient. A film, “Managing with Alzheimer’s Disease”, will also be shown. All interested persons are in vited to attend. MATTHEWS Carpet & Upholstery Cleaning '•The Bitterness o1 Poor Quality Remains Long Attar the Sweetness ot Low Price Card Of Thanks We would like to take this oppor tunity to let our many friends know how much it meant to us to receive their cards during the il lness and at the passing of our lov ed one, Mark W. Byrum Sr. We would also like to thank everyone who sent'flowers and especially are grateful for the prayers and concern and the many expressions of love and thoughtfulness. God bless you, even as stamps and Aid to Families With Dependent Children. Albemarle Hopeline offers a lifeline to victims of sexual assault, child sexual abuse and domestic violence. In 1986 the agency provided 3,000 shelter days, spoke to 4,232 people in an educational effort and provided services of one kind or another to 2,000 people. Speakers are always available to groups seeking information. The agency operates on state and local funds, private contribu tions and a small amount of federal funding. Tammy says that thanks to Hopeline, she and her daughter will be fine. “Money is really tight right now, but that’s not important. We are safe and we have peace. I have a job waiting as soon as I can get a car,” Tammy said. “You know, the name of Hopeline is right. There is hope when you think you have no way out.” Workshop Scheduled On Saturday, June 6, from 10 a.m. until 12 noon, the Tyrrell County Library in Columbia will host a non-denominational workshop on ideas and materials to be used in teaching Sunday School or Bible School. Diana Young, Children’s Librarian from the State Library in Raleigh, will share her skills, crafts, and knowledge in adopting a variety of subjects to fit into each in dividual’s needs. June 6 is the only time this par ticular workshop will be held in eastern North Carolina, according to a library spokesman. If you are interested in attending, please call 796-3771. DONATES POSTER-^Janice Eure, a gifted local artist, recently donated a watercolor poster to Perquimans-Chowan Partners with Youth. Dr. Louis Nadeau, director, is shown admiring her work. Eure Donates Watercolor Janice Eure of Hobbsville recently donated a watercolor poster to the Perquimans-Chowan Partners with Youth organization. A well-known local artist, Eure has studied art at East Carolina University and with Maxine Sweeney at College of the Albemarle. In addition, she has attended workshops conducted by Vic Gillispie, Ralph Smith, Bar bara Preston and Betty Anglin. She is a member of the N.C. Watercolor Society. Although she works in many mediums, her favorite is water color. She also has expressed par ticular interest in preserving the history and culture of north eastern North Carolina through the visual arts. Ms. Eure displays her work on a continuing basis at Pasquotank Continued On Pifi 2-B yi^ii to Wm ♦ Lower Payment *No Property Tax MAY && MIW ♦No Money Down *.Cost Free Maintenance CiyUor MYNN WE WILL PAY OFF YOUR TRADE-IN !! ■”i can give vou a better deal. Let me show vou how you can lease vour car and own It tool!" T"rade-in^Welcome!»AIITermswlthApproved Credit I CLIP THIS AD AND BRING TO LYNN RAY AND I GET $10.00 WORTH OF GAS. FREEIII ,PLUS^^^JjRE^^IFTiWITJ^ACIJ^PURCHASElJ All Makes and Models • Import Cars and Trucks All Heavy Duty Equipment Special Deals on Leasing New Lincolns! Call Me 8:30 A.M. - 8:30 P. M. PHONE 539-1595 mkDUMAIM FORD MERCURY LINCOLN 1600 N. Main St., Suffolk Toll Free Norfolk 627-8944 Newport News 244-7650 MILITARY REUNION 10th Inf/Mtn. Div. 15th, 16th, 19th, 20th, 21st, 23rd, 24th & 36th. ARMY CORPS; 1st, 2nd, 11th, 29th, 32nd, 33rd, 38th, 39th, 40th, 41st, 45th, 48th, 49th, 58th, 67th, INF. BRIGADES. (A/B Units) 6th A.B., 9th A.B., 11th A.B., Assault, 13th A.B., 17th A.B., 18th A.B./Corps, 21st, 82nd (all) 101st (all) 135th A.B., 173rd, A/B RGT. 1/325 INF 501st Inf. 502nd (skull) 503rd Inf/The Rock, 504th Red Devill. 29th Inf.Div. 69th, 72nd, 73rd, 75th, 81st, 91st, 92nd, 116th, 157th, 171st, 172nd, 187th, 191st, 193rd, 196th, 197th, 198th, 199th, 205th, 218th, 256th INF. BRIGADES. 505 A/B 506 Inf. A/B 507th A/B Inf. 508th Inf. 509th A/B Inf. 541st A/B Inf. 187th RCT, 442nd RCT, 508th RCT, 23rd Inf. (Americal) 34th Inf. Div. A/B CMD. 1st Allied A/B, 1st S/F ABN 1st Special Service Force A/B Troop Carrier, Special Warfare (all) Special Forces Pathfinder, Para-Glider (all) 1st Air Cavalry, 6th A/B div. 9th A/B div. 11th A/B div. 11th Air Assault, 13th A/B, 17th A/B, 18th A/B, 21st A/B, 82nd A/B & 101st A/B Divs. 187 RCT 449 RCT 449 RCT 508th RCT 23rd Flying Tigers, 23rd Inf. (Americal) 2/9 BN USMC 1st USMC Div. 2nd USMC Div. 1st Recon. BN, 1st AAF, 5th AAF, 7th AAF, 8th AAF, 10th AAF, 12th AAF, 14th AAF & 20th AAF. 37th Inf. Div., 4th, 5th, 25th, 33rd, 38th, 74th, 75th, 76th, 99th, BN. LT. 103rd, 107th, 111th, 150th, 157th, 158th, 168th, 178th, 182nd, 187th, A/B 19th, 296th, 298th, 299th, 442nd, & 508th RCT. WW2 Ghost Units, 14th Army 31st & 33rd Corps. 11th, 14th, 17th, 22nd, 44th, 48th, 50th, 55th, 59th, 108th, 119th, 130th, 141st, 157th, Divs. 9th, 18th, 21st & 135th A/B 18th Seabee BN. 40th Inf. Div. 28th, 29th, 30th, 6th, 7th, 45th, 79th, 42nd, 78th, 32nd, 5th, 69th, 43rd, 36th, 80th, 83rd, 88th, 89th, 102nd, 106th, 327th Inf., 23rd Inf. 16th Inf. 37th Arm 9th Inf. 325th Inf. 187th Inf. 66th Arm 8th Inf., 505th Inf. 504th, Inf. 17th Inf. 502nd, Inf. 1st Inf. 12th Inf. 5th Inf. Div., 7th Div., 9th Div., 24th Div., 25th Div., 26th, Div., 7th, 9th, 24th, 25th, 26th, 27th, 30th, 31st, 32nd, 33rd, 34th, 35th, 36th, 38th, 39th, 40th, 41st, 42nd, 43rd, 44th, 45th, 46th, 47th, 48th, 49th, 51st, 63rd, 66th, Inf. Divs. 1st Inf. Div. 327th Inf., 23rd Inf., 16th Inf., 37th ARM., 9th Inf. 325th Inf. 187 Inf. 66th Arm. 41st Inf. 6th Inf. 68th Arm., 8th Inf. 505th Inf. 21st Inf. 504 Inf. 17th Inf. 502nd Inf. 1st Inf. 12th Inf., 5th Div., 6th Div., 7th Div., 9th Div., 24th Div., 25th Div., 26th Div. 2nd Inf. Div., 7th, 9th, 24th, 25th, 26th, 27th, 30th, 31st, 32nd, 33rd, 35th, 36th, 38th, 39th, 40th, 42nd, 43rd, 44th, 45th, 46th, 47th, 48th, 49th, 51st, 63rd, 66th Inf. 28th, 29th. 28th Div., 29th Div., 26th, Div. 7th Div., 45th Div., 79th Div., 101 Abn. Div. 42nd Div. 82nd Abn. Div. 78th Div. & 1st Marine. 5th Inf. Div. 32nd Inf. Div., 69th Inf. Div. 43rd Inf. Div. 36th Inf. Div. 80th Inf. Div. 833rd Inf. Div. 88th Inf. Div. 102nd Inf. Div., 106th Inf. Div. All men/women who served in the U.S.A.N.G., U.S. Army Reserve, U.S.M.C.R., U.S.C.G. Reserve, and all men/women who served in the military forces of the U.S. or foreign Allied Forces from the Ist-W.W. to the present both active and reserve. DATE OF REUNION: AUGUST 6-9, 1987 PLACE STEVENSVILLE COUNTRY CLUB SWAN LAKE. NY 12783 TELEPHONE: 914-282-8000 Rooms will be confirmed upon receipt of $100.00 per room. Attn. John Sunshine or Jim my Dinnestein. For additional information write: William P. Phillips, 5616 Loretto Avenue. Philadelphia, PA 19124 Phone Nos. (215) 289-8227, (215) 289-8424.
The Chowan Herald (Edenton, N.C.)
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May 28, 1987, edition 1
11
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