OUR COMIC SECTION Events in the Lives of Little Men ? THE FEATHERHEADS Happy, Though Married ? W?tws N?*ip?ptr Union NO TIME TO BOTHER Mrs. Resorter ? Fred, come up to the house at once. There's a telegram saying that your factory is burning up. Mr. Resorter ? Hush, Helen. I think r^e got another bite. Substitute Bobby was being reared with strict regard to the latest theories of diet and health. The other day he asked for a piece of candy to take with him to the "movies." When this was re fused, he remarked ruefully: "Well, then, I'll just take a couple of carrots." Meet My Girl Friend His Boss ? Dodson, I found this long blond hair on the back seat of my lim ousine. My wife's hair is black. ChaulTeur ? I'll give you an explana tion, sir. Boss ? Explanation nothing ! What I want is an introduction. ? Montreal Star. Still Farther Back Wife ? But, my dear, no woman wants to look dressed as though she came out of the Ark. Husband? Hub! You women aren't so averse to looking as though yon came out of the Garden of Eden, I notice. ? Boston Transcript. Sonnded Well ??Now, for the last time, Jimmy, I want you to wash your face and hands !** 44 Are you sure It wIIJ be the last time, mother?* Significance in Langh "A laugh," said Hi Ho, the sage of Chinatown, "may reveal only a word- , less sneer. You say wisely, 'Think be- i fore you speak.' I ko further and bid i you think before you laugh." ? Wnsh- 1 ington Star. | THOUGHTFUL grass, as I told yon to?" **1 was going to, father, but the truant officers are around looking for boys under fourteen who are working and I was afraid I'd get you into trou ble," Witb Diog-DoBf Effect* "And did he have the dentist take an X-ray of his wife's JawT" "He tried to, but all they could g?t was a moving picture." ? Smith's Weak )y (Sydney). 1 This Little Girl Got Well Quick "Just after her third birthday, my little daughter, Con nie, had a serious attack of intestinal flu," says Mrs. H. W. Turnage, 217 Cad walder St., San An tonio, Texas. "It loft her very weak and pale. Her bow els wouldn't act right, she bod no appeiite and nothing agreed with her. "Our physician told us to give her some California Fig Syrup. It made her pick up right away, and now she Is as robust and happy as any child in our neighborhood. I give Califor nia Fig Syrup full credit for her wonderful condition. It Is a great thing for children." Children like the rich, fruity taste of California Fig Syrup, and you can give It to thein as often as they need It, because it is purely vegetable. For over 50 years leading physicians have recommended it, and its over whelming sales record of over four million bottles a year shows It gives satisfaction. Nothing compares with It as a gentle but certain laxative, and it goes further than this. It regulates the stomach and bowels and gives tone and strength to these organs so they continue to act nor mally, of their own accord. There are many Imitations of Cali fornia Fig Syrup, so look for the name "California" on the carton to be sure you get the genuine. Heavjr-Duty Pencil Made entirely of graphite, a pen cil that is claimed to outlast a dozen of the common variety has been in troduced. The point is unbreakable, its makers assert. No wood is used. As many as twenty copies can be made at a time, so strongly may the user bear down. The pencil may be sharpened with a knife or sandpa per, but not in a pencil sharpener. ? Popular Mechanics Magazine. There is an etllcient person some where in a house that is kept warm all winter. H^THE TRUTH ABOUT Rheu MATIC PAINS There are many causes of rheumatism. Hence, no one remedy can cure all cases. But if the cause of YOUR rheumatic pains is excess uric acid, then you should know that by taking Gold Medal Haarlem Oil Capsules you can stimulate your k.Jneys to carry off more uric acid poison. In 237 years this fine, old medicine ha? relieved millions. Insist on GOLD MEDAL. 35c & 75c. FREE A generous sample, free, if you print your name and address across this advertisement and mail to Department "G". care of GOLD MEDAL HAARLEM OIL COMPANY 220 ? 36th Street, Brooklyn, Now York Your automobile doesn't annoy your neighbor ; but your radio can. Complexion Curse' She thought she was iust unlucky w/ien he called cxi her once ? avoided bcr the realtor. But no on* admires pimply, blemished skin. More and more women arc realizing that pimples and blotchcs are often danger signals of dogged bowels? powonous wastes ravaging the system. Let NR (Nature's Remedy) afford complete, thorough elimination and promptly ease away beauty ruining potsunous matter. Fine lor sick head ache, bilious conditions, dizziness. Try this safe, dependable, all vegetable correc live. At all drug- I gists'? only 25c. " nLH/iia. uiuun3Dt ii> uimuir, "Tl ? lie" Quick relief for acid indiges | UlVlb tion. heartburn. Only 1<>'.. One can be too poor to make the friends he wants ? and too rich. Lazy people need to be scared. j Quicker Relief For Headaches Because oj Quick Dissolving Property Bayer Aspirin Starts "Taking Hold" 3 or 4 Minutes After Taking Due to important, scientific de velopments in the world-famous Bayer laboratories, almost IN STANT relief from headaches, neuralgia and rheumatic pains is being afforded millions. Because of a unique process in making and tableting, Genuine Bayer Aspirin is made to dissolve almost INSTANTLY in the stom ach. Hence it starts to work almost instantly. And thus "takes hold" of the average pain or headache in as little as three or four minutes after taking. The fastest, safe relief, it is said, ever known for pain* Remember, it is Genuine Bayer Aspirin which provides this unique, quick-acting property. So be sure you get the Real Article ? GEN UINE BAYER Aspirin when you buy. Naturally you want the fast est, possible relief ? and that's the way to gel it. To identify the genuine, see that any box or bottle of aspirin you buy is clearly marked "Genuine Bayer Aspirin." And that any tablet you take is stamped clearly with the name "Bayer" in the form of a cross. Remember ? Genuine Bayer Aspirin cannot harm the heart. MO TABLETS ARE G?MUIHE(B AYER|ASP1RIM WITHOUT THIS CROSS Copr. 1932, The Bayer Co.. Inc. PARKER'S HAIR BALSAM ?"Jr ItCr.. ud lU nd Ort at Uruatvu , ? N T ? AGRNTS? Tnemployed men and ?women. Amasln* opportunity. No money required. *? ?tmrt you. First dollar's worth free, thereafter )S worth free aa bonus on tTtrr dollar male, which also nets you 50c com mission. Write Immediately: Lyro Sales Co.. H? Armstrong Ave.. Knoxvllle.Tann W. N. U, ATLANTA, NO. 44-.1S32. The Ideal Vacation Land Smmtkime AU WtmtmrL*** Splendid road*? towering mountain range* ? Highest type hotelr- dry ,n" vigoratinf air? clear stailit night*? CaWorahi'i Feraeaoet Pmrt Fleygree*' PWrttm Oraa A OMmrrwy ^ aim Sprlnst^ CALIftlWA _ 8Uahtljr died FMtorr Re?m?r?d TlrMJ ??Jr 411, tl.78; 471. 11.26; ?th?r *V postpaid. Rubbor Prod. Co.. Brlatol. T?w*.

Page Text

This is the computer-generated OCR text representation of this newspaper page. It may be empty, if no text could be automatically recognized. This data is also available in Plain Text and XML formats.

Return to page view